Truth Bites
by Kitsune Foxfire
Summary: Monster, homunculus. A beast appears out of nothing in the East. Roy is confronted with the possibility that it's a new homunculus. What are it's plans, and is it truly a threat? Post FMA Manga, Pein-battle Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

**_Ok usual disclaimers, don't own either series, both are amazing, I wish I did._**

**_This story's been bopping about in my head for over a month now. Trying something new with how I'm getting it going, so bear with it for the first chap or two. R&R as usual, of course. No clue where we are going for the most part. This is the culmination of a few VERY frisky plot bunnies. Part two is typed up, and will go up tomorrow night at the latest._**

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><p>Screaming. It was ringing in his ears, he could feel it in his bones, in his head...where was it coming from? His body felt sluggish as he strove to stand, to locate the screaming and just get it to stop<p>

He didn't remember what happened...

Blearily he looked around. It was some kind of model building, he thought, or what was left of it. It looked wrong, even though it was wrecked, it still looked so wrong

and he didn't know why...

The screaming just got louder as he climbed out of the building. It was seriously starting to piss him off. He snarled as his head swung around to look for the source of the annoyance so he could crush it

Something felt off...

There! It was coming from behind him. He just wanted it to stop, for them to shut up! The screams felt like icepicks in his ears. He stared down at the cause of the hated noise. It was a doll

but dolls can't scream...

_**Shut UP****! **_he roared at the doll, glaring at it. His voice sounded all wrong, he knew something wasn't right. Why couldn't he remember? A flash of fire in front of his face, and he startled, pulling away from the screaming doll

but when had he gotten so close...

Shouting coming from the left. He turned to face it only to be slammed by something blunt in the side, sending him stumbling.

_…..a flash of memory? A feeling of pulling force, being pressed by all sides by earth as a man with orange hair looked on coldly. As his body was compressed he felt a sliver of fear war with the anger..._

The fear made him growl at the attackers, a new bunch of dolls that were yelling at him. The Pift! Pift! sounds they made with sticks were accompanied by a slight stinging sensation

it made him want to squish them...

He stood again, towering over then as he licked his lips, salivating. One of the dolls sent a spurt of fire at him, and he laughed as it ruffled his hair. It wasn't funny when a large rock smacked him in the nose. With a snarl he whipped on of his tails around to squash the annoyances once and for all

when did he ever have tails...

The tail froze a scant foot above the dolls as he hesitated, desperately trying to remember. He looked back at the crumpled model-house in confusion. Half of it was missing, the remains pushed up like matchsticks

_….a bowl shaped crater, wreckage everywhere. Houses gone, the tower a pile of sticks by the great wall that was supposed to protect everyone..._

He backed away from the dolls as one went over to the doll that had been screaming, standing in front of it

_….unable to move as he watched her fight for him, protecting him, he screamed at the orange haired man to stop..._.

Two of the dolls charged him, pressing their conceived advantage. The dark haired one rushed to the front, riding on a wave of stone. He pawed the man out of the air, only to have the stone wave slam him in the gut

_….seeing a blond man before him in a new light. He understood the choices, but still pissed at the man who made them he swung out a fist..._

_**He's dead. My father's dead! **_He shook his head trying to clear it of unwanted thoughts so he could crush these bugs. He stumbled and fell forward.

_….He plummeted as he used the last of their energy to take out the man before him, and everything else withing a five mile radius. Maybe now everyone would be safe..._

The dark haired doll stood right in front of him, The muscular one beside him and a smaller blond one as well. He assumed they were threatening him, foolish things that they were. He was the great

_…'.. Uzumaki Naruto! I'm going to be Hokage one day' he hears the class laugh at him..._

Something was wrong. He felt a moment of disconnect before things snapped in to focus. He ignored the dolls, no, PEOPLE, in front of him and looked at his arm, covered in dense red fur. Turning his head he saw nine waving snake-like tails whipping about in agitation. He looked back to the people in front of him. Seeing the remains of the building behind them

_I did that..._

and felt sick with the thought. _**RAAAAAAAAAAAA!**_he screamed as something inside broke. His body felt like it was melting, and he kept screaming, even as the tails receded and his skin healed over. He screamed as the blood washed out of his hair, leaving it blond once more, screamed as his eyes returned to being blue.

He was still screaming when the fireball hit him, bringing blessed darkness with it.


	2. Chapter 2

The whole building shook violently for a moment.

A man reached out to save his favorite mug from falling off the desk, "Well, that was odd. I didn't think the east was prone to earthquakes." With a look at his female companion, he went back to work.

"Mustang!" Havoc shouted as he skidded to a halt in front of the door, "Quick! Something just attacked headquaters!"

The Brigadier General was on his feet instantly, heading for the door, "What is it?"

"I don't know, sir, but it's big, REALLY big, and red." Havoc fell into step with his long time friend and boss, flanking him on the left as Hawkeye kept pace on the right, gun loaded and ready. "It appeared out of no-where and crashed into the storage buildings. Currently, it's not moving."

"I doubt we'd be lucky enough that it died." Mustang mused, "You said it came out of nowhere?"

"Yes, sir! Saw it myself. A black hole opened up and this...thing came barrelling through. It didn't even slow down when it hit the building."

"Casualties?"

"None so far. Most of that area is empty at this time of day. There were a few people injured, and there are some trapped in side. When I left, evacuations were already underway."

"Good." The man pulled on his gloves as the intruder came into sight, "Hawkeye, go help with the evacuations. If you see anything suspicious, shoot it." She snapped a salute and headed around the back of the building. Mustang warily looked at the large red cables in front of him. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like finding out what they were. As he continued to watch the still form he spoke to the man who came up beside him, "So much for a peaceful visit, Armstrong. Looks like I might need your help for this one."

"Think nothing of it, my friend." Armstrong flexed his sizable arms, limbering up, "I could use a good workout."

Havoc made a noise from next to Mustang as he adjusted the field binoculars he was using.

"What is it, Havoc?"

"A person sir. Looks like one of cleaning staff. She's hurt, and I think she's coming around..." A loud piercing scream could be heard. "Uh, yeah. I think she just saw big red."

"You think?" Mustang cursed as the big red...thing...slowly got up, "Shit, I think she woke it up. What the hell IS that?" The large cables moved, lazily whipping into the air as the thing turned around. As Mustang got his team in position to distract the monstrosity he realized that they were tails. The monster turned and glared down at the injured woman, "Havoc, as soon as you can, get her out of here."

"Yes sir!"

_**"Shut UP!"**_The monster's shout only caused the woman to scream louder. It's head shot forward and Mustang rushed into action, snapping his fingers and sending a blaze of flame between the woman and her attacker. As the monster's large head swung about Armstrong slammed it with a pillar of earth, sending it stumbling. It's tails lashed as it fell and they rushed it. The gunfire had no apparent effect at the monster bared it's very sharp teeth at them and growled, causing the ground to rumble.

It got to it's feet and towered over them. Mustang realized that they had gotten to close as a drop of drool splattered on one of the soldier's head. He gave the man credit, he kept firing his gun, for all the good it was doing. With another snap of his fingers he sent a well aimed stream of flame at the beast's head.

"Damn it, it's laughing at me!" Mustang growled, "Armstrong!"

"On it, sir!" A bolder easily the size of a baby elephant was sent flying, slamming into the foul creature's nose. "Take that!"

Mustang saw a blurr of red come at them from above as the beast snarled, "INCOMING!" He shouted as the tail hurtled down on them. He knew it was too late as he prepared to send a wall of flame at the beast.

The tail stopped close enough for his to reach out and touch it. The monster looked at the building it at destroyed, a strange whine coming from it's cavernous mouth. As it stumbled back Havoc used the momentary distraction to get to the woman, throwing himself in front of her as the creature's head whipped around to watch him.

Mustang rushed towards the beast even as it retreated, Armstrong hot on his heels. Using a move they hadn't done since the Ishbalan war, Armstrong sent Mustang up towards the monster's face on a wave of rocks. The monster rolled it's blood-red eyes as it brought up a paw to swipe him away. The flame alchemist was expecting this, and rolled off the side of the wave as it continued and slammed into the belly of the beast.

There was a crunching noise as the wall of earth raised the creature up on it's back legs for a second before collapsing under the weight. The thing shook it's head, as if confused as it stumbled.

_**"He's dead. My father's dead!" **_it growled out. It took a shaky step forward before collapsing on the ground, nose a scant inches from Armstrong and Mustang.

As the creature opened it's eyes, Mustang heard Hawkeye coming up fast behind him. The Beast growled, monstrous tails swishing ominously behind it. He, Armstrong, and Hawkeye prepared to launch another attack. The growling stopped, and the monster looked down at it's arm, which Mustang realized was well situated to crush them. As he cursed his foolishness, the red creature looked back to it's tails for a moment.

"Great, it's toying with us." He grumbled, even more pissed then he had been. His two companions grunted their agreement of his assessment as the creature's eyes found them again. Slowly it's head swung back around until they were staring it right in the eyes. It's massive maw opened, and Mustang could have sworn he heard Ed's voice laughing about how he got eaten by a big red dog-thing.

_**"RAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**_the monster shrieked. Clutching his head in pain, at first Mustang thought he was imagining things.

"Armstrong, Look!"

"I see it, sir! This horrible creature is shrinking!"

The beast shrunk rapidly now, soon becoming man-sized. It's tails started to bull back into the body and the fur peeled off as the overall shape changed. The bleeding body continued to scream, clutching it's head as pink skin formed and spread across it's shuddering form. Blond hair quickly replaced the last patch of blood red fur. Red eyes turned blue as they stared at something behind Mustang.

He idly realized the creature, boy, no _homunculus_, was staring at the building it had destroyed. It didn't stop him from snapping his figures, incinerating the boy, silencing him.

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><p><strong><em>Chapter 2 done! Chapter 3 underway. No worries, Naruto isn't dead. We all know it takes A LOT more to kill him. R&amp;R please.<em>**


	3. Chapter 3

****Hey-yo. Part 4 is already underway. Please R&R...I am hoping people are at least getting ideas for their own stories out of this...****

**Thanks to everyone who has added this to their faves and/or alerts. Also a big thank-you to those who reviewed. I know the first two chapters were a little different, and I'm glad you stuck with me. I'm switching to a more normal method of typing this up with this chapter. Let me know if you have any questions or ideas (either for the story, or how to present it). I love feedback. Feedback gets you cookies.**

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><p>The body was still smoking as they approached it. Hawkeye nudged it with her foot, gun poised to shoot. The body moaned as patches of pink blossomed and spread, slowly covering it. She nudged it harder, rolling it onto it's back.<p>

"Sir, do you want me to shoot it?"

Roy looked at the blond body which by any rights should be a corpse. The clothing was riped and burned badly. What was left was a bright shade of orange, not something he had come to associate with the homunculus he had fought before. As he watched the burns on the face fade, Mustang frowned. Envy and Lust had repaired their cloths when they healed, this one did not._ Is it weaker then the others?_

"Sir?" Riza prompted, eyeing the intruder suspiciously as it moaned again.

The Brigadier General sighed, what he wanted to do warring with what he knew he should do. "No, don't shoot it unless it moves, Lieutenant. Armstrong, got any ideas on how to tie this thing up?"

"I may have a few ideas, sir, if you mind telling me why?" Alex leaned in, "Sir, this creature shows signs of being a homunculus. It has attacked, unprovoked, putting innocent lives at risk. Forgive me for questioning you, but should we not eliminate this threat?"

"That is exactly why we are not going to kill it unless we have to." Roy ran his gloved hand through his hair. "This thing came out of nowhere, Armstrong. We had no warning before it attacked. We don't know where it came from, or how it got here." His dark eyes met his friend's, worry evident in both sets, "We need to find out this is a part of something bigger."

"'He's dead. My Father is dead.'" Riza said, not looking away from the body as it finished healing. "What did it mean by that? The homunculus 'Father' died three years ago."

"Exactly, Lieutenant. That's one of the questions we need answered. And we just happen to have a fellow here that can answer those questions." He nodded to Armstrong, "So if you can restrain it and get it ready to be moved, I'll think up a way to make a cell monster-proof. Your Alchemy had more of an effect anyway, so you'd have a better idea of how to stop it's movements."

"I see, Brilliant plan, Roy. I assume we are going to keep this quiet from the Fuhrer until we know more?"

"Of course."

"Well then, let us set about..." Armstrong began, flexing his hands as he worked out the formula he'd need to restrain something that could turn into a giant monster. As he was bringing his fist down towards the ground, Riza cried out, firing a shot.

The homunculi glared at Hawkeye, hand firmly holding the barrel of her gun up and away from it's body. With a tug it disarmed her and leapt back, avoiding Mustang's flames. Mustang smirked as his men, who had been standing back, offering support if it was needed, clicked off their safeties. The blond head snapped around at the sound, blue eyes widening in surprise.

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><p>Naruto looked down at his hand which still held the weapon he had gotten from the blond woman. When he had grabbed at it, he had felt a burning sting, and looking at his palm he had a long bleeding gash, though there were no sharp edges. <em>Projectiles...<em> he mused, remembering the sting he had felt in the body of the fox.

He had woken up to the sound of the man with the dark hair and pissed eyes suggesting capturing him. He wasn't sure what 'Alchemy' was, or what the hell a 'Fuhrer' was, but he knew he didn't want to stick around to find he had sensed that they were about to make their move, he had jumped into action. Naruto wasn't sure why, but he still felt a little hazy, his body felt stiff and slower then usual as he rushed the woman. Now he was regretting not just fleeing and taking his chances at an attack.

"Well, what are you going to do now?" Naruto glared at the dark haired man. He reminded him vaguely of Sasuke. He decided it was the smug look in his eyes."You think you can take all of us?" The man taunted.

_Actually, yeah, I think I can..._He reached inside for his Chakra, only to find it frighteningly empty. Frowning the blond tried again, only to feel the poisonous chakra of the Kyuubi. His eyes flashed red as his head ached. As he warred with the sudden surge of dark power he saw the blond woman re-arm herself. Forcefully he pushed the power down._ no, NO you can't come out._ He glared at the man, still silent, feeling the weight of the foreign weapon in his hand.

_**_Flashback_**_

_"If you can, avoid capture at all cost."Ibiki explained to a young Naruto. He'd personally caught the young prankster sneaking up to the monuments with a pail of paint, and had decided to teach the five year old wanna-be a lesson. Turning his back on the trusted up boy be continued, "A Ninja's job is to compete his mission at all costs. He does this using stealth. If he's caught, his mission fails." Ibiki turned back to the boy giving him a hard glare before continuing, "If capture is unavoidable, a ninja should prevent any information or supplies from falling into enemy hands."_

_"But, you took all my stuff already!" the boy whined, "Meanie!" The blond had managed to work a hand free, "What the heck do you expect me to do now?"_

_Ibiki watched the boy struggle for a moment impressed at his progress, "If you were a ninja on a real mission," he began, debating if he should soften his words. "I would expect you to protect your village by taking your own life, if necessary."_

_"How?" the boy asked, not intimidated at all as his struggle freed his other hand._

_"Use the enemies' own weapons. If that's not an option, force them to kill you." Ibiki pulled of his forehead protector, revealing the scars on his head to the young boy, "Remember, in the world of a Shinobi, a fate worse then death usually awaits a captured Ninja."_

_"...Hey, hey, Hey! Mister, what happened to your head?" Ibiki felt the beginnings of a headache coming on as the boy rattled off questions while still upside down._

_**_End Flashback_**_

Naruto eyed the men around him carefully, Ibiki's words ringing in his head. He had no clue how to use the weapon in his hand; it was all he had, his Kunai spent in the battle to protect his home, but they sure did. The problem was, if the dark-haired one could be believed, they weren't going to kill him. He could press the issue, but could he get them to kill him?

The smirk was gone now, replaced with an angry scowl, "Hawkeye."

"Yes, sir." The woman took careful aim, and Naruto couldn't help the involuntary cry of pain as the bullet tore though his shoulder. He could feel the flesh pull back together almost instantly. It was a painful lesson, but the message was clear. They were going to be aiming to maim, and it would take a long, long time for him to die. The ninja glared at the three in front of him, _not that they'll let me die..._

He tossed the strange weapon on the ground out of reach and raised his hands in the universal sign, "I surrender."

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><p><em><strong>Footnote, Take it or leave it:<strong>_

_**Ah! that reminds me, I almost forgot to explain the whole Ibiki bit! Well, remember when Ibiki was doing his exam, and Naruto was totally un-phased by Mr. scary-ass? Not to mention that Ibiki was not surprised at Naruto's antics... Well, since Naruto was always pulling pranks (and avoiding getting caught, which is impressive for dead-last) my hypothesis is that at some point Ibiki tried to scare him strait (probably suggested by the Hokage) and failed miserably, of course. Instead, Naruto took his words to heart, and got REALLY good at pranks.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_All-important notes to follow at the end of the chapter. Next one is already in the works, but this weekend is mostly shot I might not get it up till next week. Thanks again to all my favers, watchers and reviewers. Cookies for all~ _****_GoneBonkers, since you either don't log in, or don't have an account, I'm addressing your review at the end, cauz I can't PM you, and you had some points._**

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><p>Roy was surprised when the homunculus tossed down the gun. When he had seen it's eyes turn red for a second there, he had been sure it was going to attack. Part of him expected a trick of some sort. Homoculi were not known for their wise choices in self preservation, after all. "Smart choice."<p>

The monster snarled, crossing his arms across his chest. "Screw you, Bastard."

"Sharp words for someone who just surrendered without a fight." Roy quipped, signaling his fellow Alchemist to begin. Earth rose up in ribbons, wrapping around the blond from the neck down. "No biting, now." Mustang admonished as Armstrong deftly lifted up the stone encased form.

"Wouldn't dream of it." though the tone suggested he had.

"There we go. General, where to?"

"I know where I want you to go..." They chose to ignore the remark as The flame alchemist lead the way towards the central building. There were some decent cells in the lower level, and thanks to his little trip to the gate, he knew how to make it more then adequate for his purposes. One again, he was glad that he had not lost all that knowledge with the return of his eyesight.

Reaching the cell, Roy looked critically at the folding cot and table. _Those will have to go. I'm not sure I trust this thing enough to untie it. Don't want to give it anything it can use as a weapon. _"Havoc, move anything not bolted down into another room." Havoc snapped a salute and got to work with the help of a few other men. _If I need a table or chair I can always just make one, after all..._"Alex, you can put our guest down now."

"Yes, sir. Should I release him as well?"

Mustang looked at the blond homoculi, a smirk upon his lips, "No, I think we should let him get used to his new surroundings..." He slapped his hands together and slammed them into the wall. Blue sparks danced around the room as all the surfaces went from a dull gray a darker, slightly reflective one. "That should do it. We'll just let you get comfortable, my friend. I'll be back later."

"Wait! You can't leave me like this! My nose itches! GAHHHH!" The homunculus shouted at their receding forms. As the door clicked closed and blue discharge raced across it he growled, "And you're not my friend!"

Roy chuckled darkly from the other side of the door before striding to his office, "I want all the data we can get on this thing. Photos, eyewitness reports, hell, I'll even take gossip! Just get it for me on my desk in an hour."

Hawkeye frowned, they were still calming down those who had been in the building, not to mention she had no clue how many people had actually seen the beast. "Sir?"

"Fine. Get me as much as you can in an hour," he modified, "I want the rest by the end of the day tomorrow."

"Yes sir!" Hawkeye snapped a salute before turning smartly on her heels to get the required information as the Brigadier General reached his office.

"What exactly are you planning, Roy?" Armstrong closed the door behind them before settling into one of the plush chairs.

"Me? I'm not planing anything." Mustang quickly penned a letter to a certain Ishbalan. He was hoping he wouldn't need the help, but the man's unique talents could come in handy. Unfortunately, it would take a while for him to come. Meaning his meeting with his little uninvited guest would be one-on-one today.

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><p>"You hear me! NOT MY FRIEND!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. He listened closely, hearing nothing coming from the hall. With a self-satisfied smirk, he relaxed his arms and got to work. Exhaling as much as he could he worked on slithering his right arm up towards his neck, dislocating it in the process. He steadily streamed a small amount of chakra from his right hand, weakening his earthen restraints. It wasn't long before his hand was in front of his face. "Gotta...remember...to thank Gaara for teaching...me this...little trick..." he panted, gathering his strength. With a calculated shove he broke large chunks of the restraint away from his chest and immediately focused on the next important task.<p>

Scratching his nose.

It took only moments and the careful manipulation of his remaining chakra to break free. It left him frightenly weak though. As the blond sat on the floor catching his breath he once again had to wonder how the hell he got here, wherever he was.

"Let's see...I was fighting that bastard Pein, right? He attacked..." panic welled in his throat as he thought of the devastation to Konoha, his friends, "No, no, they'll be fine. I'm sure of it. Yeah. Just fine. I got Pein away...didn't I?" He vaguely remembered talking with the Fourth Hokage, learning that the man he had idolized his whole life was in fact his father. "huh. Everything after that's kinda a blank though. What the hell happened? Well then...If I woke up as a giant fox, then I bet I know who has some answers..."

_The sewer was much the same it had always been. Poorly lit and wet. Without much preamble Naruto banged on the bars of the cage._

_**"Ah, I see my jailer has come to pay a visit." **The fox grinned, **"What seems to be the problem?"**_

_"You know exactly what the problem is! What the hell is going on here?"_

_**"I don't know what problem you could be talking about. Oh wait, could you be referring to your rather foolish attempt to stop that man without my help?"** to Naruto's confused look the Kyuubi just laughed, **"You don't remember, do you? Delicious!"**_

_"Just tell me already!"_

_**"It's simple, really, You tried to finish off that man with your sorry skills. You failed."**The monster grinned,** "And now you're paying the price for it."**_

_"What aren't you telling me?" it was weird, even here, the blond felt completely drained. The last time he felt this way speaking to the bijuu, the fox had taken over and almost killed Sasuke._

_**"Wouldn't you like to know? Feeling a little...weaker then normal, boy?" **Kyuubi's eyes slanted, and he gave a mental shove, **"Get us out of this mess your foolishness got us into, Naruto, or I will,"** the fox grinned as Naruto faded, **"and trust me, you won't like how I do it."**_

With a sigh Naruto opened his eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Kyuubi knew a lot more then he was letting on. The thought that Pein was still a threat to his village... _No, no, he was after me. If I'm not there, they'll be safe, from him at least._The ninja had more pressing things to worry about then his home, though. He pulled himself to his feet and started the arduous task of feeling along the walls for a weak-spot. Naturally, he started with where the door had been, only to find it as smooth as the surrounding walls.

"Maybe letting myself get caught and thrown into a locked room wasn't my best idea." He deftly searched the whole room to no avail. He had thought, foolishly, that these new enemies would throw him somewhere he'd easily be able to escape. Naruto _did_ have a lot of experience getting out of locked, ninja-proof rooms, thanks to some differing opinions on what constituted as 'resting'. Eventually the blond found himself back at where a door was supposed to be. Experimentally, he shoved on it. "Damn... " Suddenly blue electricity crackled across the wall and across his hand. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt, though the teen warily took a step back. _ Could be some kind of exploding tag?_

The section of wall vanished, leaving Naruto to blink dumbly at the man with cold, calculating eyes. _Crap!_The blond quickly dove, aiming for the space between the man and the wall, attempting to get out of the room. He heard a snap, and suddenly he was on fire.

"AHHH!" blinded, he continued his mad lunge for freedom. When he felt someone grab his hair and yank him back, he whipped around and threw a punch that defiantly connected before he skidded across the floor. "Who the hell do you think you are? Fucking Sasuke? That HURT!"

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><p>Roy mentally cursed as he rubbed his jaw. The little beast had a heck of a right hook, even when it couldn't see where it was aiming. He felt a bit like a fool, thinking that Armstrong's alchemy would be strong enough to hold onto a homunculus of unknown abilities for long. The again, it had only been an hour. He looked over at the pile of gravel, frowning, <em>definitely thought it would have taken longer then that at least. Little bastard could have gotten away if I had waited any longer.<em>He was ridiculously grateful that Riza was not here to see his mess up.

"I see you don't waste any time, homunculus." Mustang calmly entered the room, watching as it wreathed in apparent pain. He shut the entrance to the room, locking himself in in a calculated risk.

The monster ignored him, instead coughing out "Who the hell do you think you are? Fucking Sasuke? That HURT!" Blue eyes glared at him, still watery from the pain.

_Who, or what, is Sasuke, I wonder?_ The Alchemist quickly formed a table and two chairs with a simple hand-slap. _I'd like to see you try to use one of these against me,_he thought, looking critically at where the furniture rose out of the floor seamlessly. He dropped the folder he had been carrying on the table. "Have a seat."

The blond eyed the new additions to his cell suspiciously as he stood slowly. He poked at the chair, "Big deal, I've seen better..." he muttered before taking a seat. "Well?" He glared.

Roy took the other seat, _not much of a power play. What is this guy, an idiot? _He flipped open the folder, revealing a photo of the homunculus from earlier that day. He watched as the fake-boy looked at the photo. He said nothing as he studied the bright blond hair and startling blue eyes. The headband was a little odd, with it's metal plate and odd symbol. Idly he wondered what it meant. The homoculi looked at him, and Mustang realized that the marks on it's face, which he had taken for healing cuts, or maybe dirt, were neither._ Huh, they look like whiskers almost._

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" It asked, pointing at the picture.

"Why don't you tell me."

"How the hell should I know?"

"Are you saying it isn't you?" The blond flinched ever so slightly, "That's what I thought."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a terrible lier, you know that? Besides which I _saw _you change." The man who had finished off two homoculi sighed exasperatedly, "Fine, let's try something else. Who are you? Or at least, who are you supposed to be?" Blue eyes just watched him suspiciously."Am I supposed to guess then?"

_Well, given his abilities to transform..._"Envy?" No reaction. "You're to active to be Sloth, and you're not fat enough to be Gluttony...Lust? No, I don't think a pathetic runt like you could be Lust." He noticed a flash of anger in the eyes, "Greed or Pride maybe?"

The prisoner looked away, grinding it's teeth, "You know I have no clue what you're talking about, don't you?" he growled, eyes flashing red for a second.

Roy smirked, "I've got it. _Wrath_."

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><p><strong>Ok! here's the fun explain-y notes...um...Ok, totally got distracted by the tv. Where was I?<strong>

**Ah, _GoneBonkers_ raised some good plot points, and I'm sure other people were like "_waaaa?" _over the same things as well, so, here's a quick response.**

**Naruto's not one for giving up without a fight, so I know his surrendering seems totally OOC, even if he's completely out of weapons. I have been dropping hints at this, but I'll come out and say it, he's also got like, zilch chakra. Rock Lee level almost. Except for the Kyuubi's, that is. That bastard is still going strong. So, he surrendered in the hopes of having enough time to rest and recover (Yeah, didn't help though). Going against unknown weapons, exhausted, he would have been caught anyway. At least this way, he was awake for where he was going...**

**Yeah, Riza probibly would have shot him...at least two or three times...before they decided to capture. But that would have been a head-shot, and honestly I don't know if Naruto would come back from that...(What do you guys think? Seriously, I want to know. I mean, broken neck, pulped heart, SURE, but bullet to the brain? Can he grow back missing limbs I wonder?)**

**As for how he got there, yeah, we'll get to that, eventually. Kyuubi's holding out on sharing the information with me.**

**Oh, and I am TOTALLY going to have to steal calling Naruto Fishcake at some point...if that's ok with you.**

**In other notes, this story has the potential to get seriously dark. Fair warning. My mind is...not always a happy place to be, and, well, Naruto's healing powers and current situation...kinda tempting. We'll just have to see what happens though.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I want to apologize for the long wait. I had this chapter mostly done in the beginning of last week, but then I was getting my costumes ready for NYCC2011, and I didn't have time to write between prepping and work. Were any of my readers there? I want to thank EVERYONE who added this story to their faves and alerts! Please remember to review if you've got questions or comments. The next chapter is already underway and the few after that are even tentatively planned. Right now though, I can't type for shit, so I'm off to watch anime and zombie movies. Here we go with the new chapter!**_

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><p><em><strong>Wrath? I like that...<strong>_

"Shut up and go away." Naruto hissed back.

I think it's an excellent name though, don't you agree?

The man across from him continued to smirk, unaware of the second voice Naruto heard, "Did I hit a nerve?"

"I'm not Wrath." the shinobi growled out. "I'm not like that."

_**Yes you are. You hate so well, though you fight it...**_

"Oh really, now? Then who are you?"

_I can't tell him my name. Can't give them anything. Just need to get out of here... what would Ero-sensei do?_ Naruto blinked rapidly to get the disturbing image out of his mind, _Ok, um...Iruka!_ The idea occurred to him that one, Iruka would never be mistaken for someone with a name like Wrath unless you really knew him and two, no one ever caught him talking out loud to himself, so he would have just gone with it. _No, wait, Kakashi!_ "I'd give you my name, but then you'd just get it dirty."

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><p>Roy just stared. It took him a few seconds to process what was said.<em> Did he...did he just say what I think he did?<em> Now, Mustang was a real hit with the ladies, but that wasn't to say he hadn't heard that particular turn down...er...from Havoc's stories. Sure, we'll go with that._ What kind of idiot is this guy?_ "Well, I guess I'll just call you Stupid."

The homunculus looked highly offended. His mouth opened and closed a few times but nothing came out before he shrugged, "Fine, whatever." he muttered looking away.

The two just sat there in silence for a while. _Assuming his powers are similar to Envy, it's possible that this is his 'default' form. I don't understand why 'Wrath' would have that power though. Did his creator make him with multiple abilities? Is that even possible?_ Mustang sighed, this speculation was getting him nowhere. "Who sent you?"

'Stupid' just shrugged, "Why do you want to know?"

He felt a headache coming on, "Why did they send you here?"

Blue eyes looked at him mischievously, "I donno, why do you think?" It was official, the homoculi was going to be difficult. Roy said nothing as the blond pulled the file closer and flipped through it, "Know what I think? You've got nothing."

"Well you know what_ I_ think?" Roy leaned in, a dangorous glint in his eyes, "I think that you believe you have a choice about answering my questions." He pulled the file away and causally stuck it under his arm before steepling his fingers, "Sorry, kid, but you're going to answer my questions. You can either answer them now while I'm still in a good mood..." He put his hands on the table, dissolving it and the chair the blond had been sitting on. The homoculi landed in an undignified heap on the ground, a yelp escaping his lips before he glared up at the man still seated, "Or you can answer them later..."

"When you're in a bad mood?" 'Stupid' stood, glaring at the Brigadier General in a way that promised violence, though the boy made no move. _Why hasn't he attacked me yet? For a homunculus, he's being almost...civil. What exactly is he planning?_

"I was going to say 'when I make you', actually."

The blond snorted, "Yeah, right. If you tried to make me, we'd both be in a bad mood." he crossed his arms, "I'm not gonna tell you anything, you asshole. You don't scare me."

There was a knock on the wall before the doorway opened once more. Armstrong stood in the doorway, flanked by Fuery and Hawkeye, both of whom had their weapons quickly trained on the Homoculi who just calmly raised a hand in greeting. "Yo."

Armstrong watched the room until his eyes that settled on what was left of his alchemy in the corner. He frowned, "Time's up, sir." Mustang rose, dissolving the chair before heading towards the door. "I was not expecting you to release him, Mustang."

"Oh that?" The blond pointed to the rubble behind him, "It didn't fit too well."

"Sir?"

"Stupid over there broke out of it before I got here. Think you could fix that for me, Major?"

The man who was known for his strength in alchemy just glared. He punched a fist into the door, and 'Stupid' was encased once more in rock. This time, however, he was sitting with his hands on his knees. "How's that, sir?"

Mustang looked back, "That'll do nicely, I think." _I'd like to see you get out of THAT one__._He was surprised that there was no outburst this time as they left the room. and sealed it shut behind them. "All right then, show's over. Back to work, all of you."

Fuery followed Mustang on the long walk back to his office with Hawkeye, "Sir, you've received a reply from the town."

"Already?"

"Yes, turns out he's actually in town right now. He said he'd be here by tomorrow morning, afternoon at the latest."

"Good. Hawkeye, have the rest of the information you've collected in my desk first thing tomorrow. No point in letting him go in blind." Mustang frowned, "I really don't know what to make of this one, I hope our friend has a little more luck getting information out of him."

"So I take it he was uncooperative, General?"

"Riza, Edward is uncooperative. This idiot..." He ground his teeth, "I couldn't even get a name from him. I don't know if he's just stupid, or really that cocky. He's trouble, that's all I'm sure of."


	6. Chapter 6

**Kitsune here with your newest chapter! (and yeah it's a bit longer, they always look bigger in word...5 pages, I mean seriously, here it looks like nothing.) Trying something different with the POV switches and such, let me know if you prefer this.**

**Lots of love to all you who have added this to your alerts and faves, and of course my reviewers! This is getting popular enough that I'm starting to worry about disappointing people...my phone goes "You have mail! _has added Story "Truth bites" to their alert list" and "_has added you to their favs" like 4 times a day! I feel so loved. Seriously, I've been down recently, and all your support makes me feel better about things in general.**

**So, I'll keep plowing ahead. Feedback is always welcome. We will be seeing a lot more FMA people in coming chapters. As usual, next chapter is already started, and more are being planned out. And hey, if this gives you an idea for your own story, run with it! That's the great thing about fanfiction, isn't it? You read or see something and think, "Wouldn't it be great if...?" and a story is born...**

**anyway, enough with the crappy author-talk, on to the story!**

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><p><strong>POOFT!<strong>

Naruto sighed from his spot behind the rubble. It had been a simple thing to use substitution and swap out some of the debris from his earlier restraints, but it left him feeling very drained. He rose to his feet, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. "Can't just sit around here. Need to get out of this room..." he muttered to himself as he stood. He made it a few steps before the world spun around him and went dark, leaving him crumpled on the floor.

Naruto woke hours later, feeling feverish and weak. His internal clock told him it was sometime after midnight. No sounds were coming from outside the cell, making it the perfect time to escape, but he couldn't even get the energy to stand. "What the hell is going on here? I feel like I'm going to pass out if I even move..."

_**_FLASHBACK_**_

_Naruto had finished his training early and was a little bored. His attempts to get Sai out of the library met with failure, so he decided to go see if Sakura would be willing to go get something to eat with him. Not as a date-date, but as friends. He'd heard she'd been helping out at the hospital recently. Something about an accident involving a group of people needing emergency care...he wasn't sure of the details, but he was sure she could use a break at this point. What he was when he got there worried him greatly. Sakura was sitting on a chair, head between her knees, breathing heavily. "Yo, Sakura-chan, what's wrong?"_

_When she looked up at him, her face was pale and drawn, "Nothing's wrong, Naruto. I'll be fine. Just need to sit and rest for a second."_

_"You don't look fine..." He worriedly looked around for someone to help, spotting Tsuande approaching fast._

_"Of course she doesn't, you dolt! She's pushed herself too far." Tsunade sounded pissed, but she was gentle as she checked her apprentice's pulse._

_"Baa-chan, what's wrong with her?"_

_Startled by the panic in his voice, Tsunade looked up. She saw fear and worry etched in every line of his body and relented, "It's nothing to worry about, she's just suffering from Chakra exhaustion. She should have stopped before it got so bad, but she's in no danger at this level."_

_"Chakra exhaustion? So she's gonna be ok?"_

_"Yes, Naruto, she''ll be alright as long as she sits and rests for a bit... But if she had kept working, she could have passed out, or even died." She turned her attention back to the pink-haired teen, "I want you to promise you'll never do something that stupid again!"_

_"Yes, Hokage-sama..."_

_"Naruto, I order you to make sure Sakura eats something." She stood, "I have more patients to attend to right now, but we'll discuss this later, Sakura."_

**__End Flashback__**

With a sinking feeling that he was suffering from chakra exhaustion, the shinobi reached inside. He felt a flicker of his normal chakra right before the Kyuubi's chakra smashed into him, leaving his breathless for a moment as he fought it off. "This sucks!" Weighing his options, the blond decided to wait it out and rest while he could. After all, chakra replenished itself, and he was known for having insane amounts. He crawled over to the statue the bald-sparkly guy had made, cursing the fox the whole time. Taking off what was left of his jacket, Naruto propped the makeshift pillow against the rock and was quickly asleep.

**_POV ROY_**

It had to be the longest, hardest morning Roy had dealt with since Edward left the military. With bleary eyes, he downed his third mug of coffee, glaring at the stack of folders in front of him. Folders that he had been hoping would be thicker. A lot thicker. In truth, he knew that the information Riza had gathered was quite extensive, considering she'd had less then twenty-four hours to find out everything she could about this mysterious homunculus and document it. Unfortunately, none of the information before him told him anything particularly useful. It looked like he'd have to go to the source.

The problem was, the source was yet another pain-in-the-ass blond.

I wonder if that was deliberate? There was a knock on the door, "Come in." He poured another cup of coffee for himself, and raised an empty mug to his visitor.

"Yes, Thanks."

"Glad you could make it so quickly. We've got a bit of a situation here."

The visitor took the offered mug and settled in a chair, taking a long sip before replying, "I noticed some construction going on by the west wing. Your situation got anything to do with that?"

"You could say that." Roy paused, trying to think of the best way to present his Ishbalan comrade with the information. He knew it wasn't something the man was going to take particularly well. With a sigh, he shoved the stack of folders over to the other man. He was silent as he watched the other page through the reports and eye witness accounts.

"A new Chimera?" Red eyes furrowed in annoyance, "Don't you alchemists ever learn?" Mustang split the last of the coffee between their mugs, stalling as the other continued to read. "Where did it come from?" The man looked at the Brigadier General, "Wait. You wouldn't call me here just because of some...rouge chimera. What aren't you telling me, Flame Alchemist?"

_Still sharp as ever, I see. There's no point in dragging this out_. "It's not a chimera. For a while we thought...but no, it's defiantly not a chimera."

The other man ran a hand down one of the numerous scars on his body, eyes cold and calculating. "Who made it?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

"I see. I take it you've captured the creature?" at the incredulous look he received he went on, "So, how can I help?"

"By getting me some God damn answers, for starters."

**_TIME SKIP_**

Roy was trying very hard not to think about how much paperwork his plan was going to incur if it worked, let alone if it failed. Bringing in a civilian was a risky move, particular considering how this could be a danger to the state. The higher-ups might suggest he was trying to start a panic. At least, those who were not aware of this particular civilian's...qualifications.

He looked at his silent companion as they made the long walk to the holding cell. The plan was simple, get into the room, prevent the monster's escape, and force the information out of him by whatever means necessary. "You do realize if the others are any indication, this is going to be far from simple, right?"

"That's just the way I like it. We need to show these homoculi that we will do whatever it takes to protect that which is precious to us."

Armstrong was waiting for them in the hall, "Mustang, I shall wait outside to offer support if you should need it. I do not like the idea of letting you two in there alone with that monster."

"I was just going to ask you to, Alex. To be honest, I didn't like how quickly it got out of the bonds last time. Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, get ready, I'm opening the door. Once we enter, I want you to guard the room with Major Armstrong. I'll let you know when we're coming out." He slapped his hands against the sealed door, opening it once more.

The sight that greeted them was defiantly not what the group had expected. Roy had been prepared for the homunculus still being restrained, however unlikely it was. He'd defiantly been prepared for the creature to rush him, be it in it's human form or it's monster-shape (he still wasn't sure what the hell it was supposed to be). Mustang was even prepared for the monster to be gone.

The homunculus was free, which was to be expected. It wasn't rushing them, which wasn't expected. It was apparently napping. The restraint of earth that Armstrong had created was completely intact, leaving no clues to as to how the blond escaped. "So, is that the homunculus?" The Ishbalan asked, pushing past his associates, eyes firmly on the blond who just yawned. "It doesn't look like a monster to me. Are you sure?"

"Positive. I saw it transform with my own eyes." With a frown, Mustang waved the others away and closed up the doorway again.

**_ POV Naruto_**

Naruto had considered moving when he heard people approach from down the hall. He'd awoken some time ago and still his chakra levels were pathetic, which meant that his brilliant plan of getting captured and then later escaping fell as flat as one of Sai's jokes. His options were defiantly limited, unless he could talk them in to just...letting him go_. __Yeah, THAT'LL happen..."Gee, Mr. Snappy-fire, can you please let me go?" PSHHHH! BANG! Toasted Shinobe on a stick. _"So. Give them what they want is out, since I've got no clue what the hell he's asking. Besides, it could be a trick, these guys would definitely be a threat to the village if they found it." Naruto grinned, rolling into a more comfortable position as the footsteps drew closer, "Guess I'll just wing it."

With the crackle of blue electricity, the door appeared one again. Naruto continued to lay there, arms propped on his jacket-turned-pillow eyes closed. He ignored the idiots at the door as the group split and he was once again locked into the room, this time with two others. The moment dragged on as the two additions to the room just stared at him. He could feel the hostility coming off them, and he knew that one was his 'friend' Mr. Snappy-fire. _I need to come up with a better name for him...Toaster-man?_The other he wasn't sure of.

"What are you doing?"

"Napping, what does it look like?" Still he didn't bother to move, "You guys could've given me a pillow or a bed or something, you know. It's so boring in here."

"So sorry you don't like your accommodations." The man sighed, "This is the homunculus, I've been calling him 'Stupid' since he won't give me his name. I know he doesn't look like much, but be careful. He's fast, and we don't really know what he's capable of."

"Which one is he?"

"You know I can hear you right?"

"I'm not sure, but I suspect Wrath."

"Seriously, I can hear you. Stop talking about me like I'm not here." Naruto sat up, glaring at the two as he put on the remains of his jacket. "Stupid jerks, did you interrupt my nap just to piss me off?" Dusting himself off he leaned against the statue, radiating annoyance. He got his first good look at the new person. He was big and well muscled with shocking white hair that stood out all the more with his darker completion. "Who's the buff-geezer?"

"Buff Geezer? Are you trying to piss me off?" The new guy asked stomping up to within an arm's reach of Naruto. It was then the blond noticed the man's face. First thing he noticed was the bright-blood red eyes, which he immediately looked away from. _Sharringon? _He then noticed the cross shaped scar on the man's face and was a little surprised he didn't notice sooner.

"Geez. Sorry, Scar-face. Didn't know you were so sensitive about you age. But with hair like that..."

The man growled, "I'm Ishballan."

"I see." Naruto slapped a fist into his palm, "And Ishballan is someone who's young but looks really old. Yosh!"

"...I see why you call him stupid." The strange new man grabbed Naruto's coat, ignoring the yelp of protest, "Mustang asked me to come and speak with you."

"Well, I don't want to speak with you." Things were defiantly going from bad to really bad in Naruto's mind. He had a sinking feeling about where this was going, and he didn't wanna go there with it.

The man gave Naruto a good shake, "Too bad. I'm here to get answers from you," the man smirked for some reason, "you may call me 'Scar'."

"Do you know why I asked Scar to come and help?" The darker-haired man, Mustang, asked as he came up next to Scar. "I asked him because he has certain skills to insure your cooperation." _I really seriously do not like where this is going!_ "We're going to ask you some questions, and you're going to answer them. If you don't, Scar is going to give you some encouragement. Do you understand?"

He swung a fist at the Mustang's face, "I'm not telling you anything."

Scar caught the fist easily, "Tell me, why won't you look at me?"

"Because I think you're butt ugly. Now let go, Asshole!"

"Wrong answer." Blue lightening danced around Naruto's fist, followed by pain. It felt like his whole arm was on fire. Suddenly he felt the Kyuubi's chakra rush forward. His arm felt momentary better before it exploded in pain once again. Blood splashed to the floor as he kicked off his captor with all his might, propelling himself across the room where he landed unsteadily.

His eyes widened as he looked down at the mess that was formally a fist. It was quickly healing, faster then he was used to seeing, the kyuubi's cakra raced though his system. _**KILL THEM! Kill them now, brat**! NO! Even if I kill them, I won't make it out of this room alive, you stupid fox._He watched as bones formed out of nothing, muscles racing up the framework and skin slowly regrowing._ That is seriously creepy...I am so glad I'm usually out cold when I heal from something this bad...I think I might be sick._ He glared daggers at the man who had pulped his fist, "That fucking hurt, you know."

"Good. Every time you don't answer, or answer with a lie, I'm going to make you hurt."

"I'll die before I tell you anything."

"Then I'll just wait till you regenerate and start again."_ Seriously? How the hell do they think I'm going to come back from dead?...ok there was that one time...and then that other time...GAH! They can't possibly know that, they've got to be bluffing!_

Mustang smirked darkly, "So, are you going to answer our questions the easy way?"


	7. Chapter 7

**_Author Notes to follow at the end, so as not to give shit away. Thanks for all the reviews and faves/alerts!_**

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><p>Naruto started to laugh, "Answer your questions? Not on your life! Kill me if you want, you'll still get nothing. If I come back, it'll just be to laugh at you."<p>

MUSTANG POV

_Damnit! He just calling our bluff. _It was true they could kill the homunculus again and again, doing as much damage as they needed to to get their answers. It was also true that they didn't know how many times this homunculus could revive, or how big of a philosophers stone it had. In short, it was completely possible they'd kill it in interrogation, and it would actually die without telling them anything. It truly depended on how stubborn this thing really was. _Maybe we can't kill him...but we can sure hurt him. He's got to know that._

"Your really not afraid at all, are you?"

"Who'd be afraid of you? I've met worse." The blond crossed his arms over his chest, "I ain't telling you shit."

Scar rushed forward in an attempt to attack. Stupid nimbly dodged his blows, almost without effort, "What I want to know," Scar began, still pressing his attack, "Is how that giant rabbit-dog turned into you." Mustang was a little surprised when Scar's fist actually connected, sending the creature flying into a wall. Quickly he formed restraints to hold him there.

"Rabbit-dog? Seriously? OW OW **OW**!" The blue eyes flickered red for a moment, "I'm...I mean it's a Fox, damnit! A nine tailed fox! There, you happy now?" His last comment didn't seem to be directed to either of them, however, Roy noticed Scar smirk. He'd gotten an answer, and it sounded honest.

_Just to be sure..._"A fox? Seriously?" Roy pulled out the picture and looked at it, miming a frown. Truth was, after being told that, it did start to look a bit fox-ish to him. "You're joking. This is obviously some kind of rabbit-dog. Or maybe a cat, it's eyes are slitted after all." He waved the picture in the captive's face. The blond's eyes flashed red again and he thrashed against the restraints. Mustang eyed his work appreciatively. He'd managed to catch the idiot around the waist and hips, as well as the chest and upper arms. _Get out of THAT without leverage, you little shit_.

"You BASTARD! A _CAT_! It's obviously a fox!" The blond looked at the photo, "See? Look at those tails! See the head? Totally FOX like. And the color...ok, so the paws are a little too much like hands, but thumbs are important!" Anger seemed to drain out of him as he really looked at the photo, "Come to think of it, those ears are a little long. Huh, what do you know, they do kinda look like a …." He hissed in apparent pain, a killing aura radiating from him for a second before fading, "Never mind, totally like a fox. Yep. Fox. I'm telling you, it's a fox, ok?"

"Now wasn't that easy?"

"Huh?"

Scar smirked, "We just got an honest answer out of you, Stupid."

"EH?" His mouth dropped open, "But...Ah Shit!"

"Now. Which Sin are you?" Mustang continued.

The blond adamantly shook his head, "Forget it, I an't telling you anything else. That last one was different, giant foxes are nothing like rabbits."

"Maybe Pride?" Suggested Scar, eyeing his target carefully, "Pride was always telling us his abilities."

"Pride was also quick to admit he was a homunculus, though. He didn't try to hide anything. All this guy has admitted is what he turns in to. Greed and Envy did that, too."

"Excuse me? I never said that." Both looked at the blond, who's face shone with determined honestly, "I never said I was the giant fox."

Scar looked at Mustang, his arms crossed, "He's kidding, right?" Roy shook his head, "You saw his transformation, and he's still claiming it wasn't him?"

"That's why I call him Stupid."

"Hey! Would you stop calling me that?" The blond continued to struggle against the restraints. _Persistent, I'll give him that._"I wasn't admitting anything! Just stating the facts. For the record, you know? Don't want you to think you got attacked by a killer-bunny of doom is all."

_Yeah...sure..._"So what should be call you, Wrath?"

"NO! I mean...you can call me Will Power." Silence greeted this statement.

"Scar, his leg, please." The captive thrashed and cursed as the Ishballan grabbed his leg. Both men wore grim expressions as Scar deconstructed a palm-sized chunk of leg. Ignoring the homunculus's involuntary scream Roy had to admit to himself that Scar's level of control was impressive.

"Want to try that again, smart ass?" The Brigadier General inquired calmly as he watched the leg heal. The blond just glared at him. He sighed, _this is going to be a long session..._with a nod, he signaled Scar to try again. This time it was part of the arm.

The captive let out a string of curses as he healed, "Vic Tory."

"Again."

The beast screamed again. "I can do this...all day...if I have to..." He grinned, a trickle of blood running down his face from biting his lip, "So...Xavier Breath."

Mustang frowned, "Let's just test that theory, shall we?"

Over an hour went by as he and Scar tried to get the homunculus to tell them it's name. They'd alternated who was asking and who...well, it wasn't pleasant for either the Amestrian or the Ishballan. They got many names, Warren Peace, Rich N. Faimus, Prince Sipple and Lou Tennant being some of Roy's favorites, as sick as it was to have favorites in this twisted 'game'.

"Helen Back," the blond coughed out after a string of curses, voice horse from screaming.

Scar massaged his hand, "Pathetic. That's a woman's name."

"Crap. It's kinda hard to think when your flesh is doing whatever the hell it is your doing." He paused for a second "Or healing. Hard to think then too. How about...Ivan Itch." His head dropped.

"You used that one already." Roy rubbed his aching head.

"Sorry. Rusty...Steel..." Roy snapped his fingers, Burning the creature's foot to a crisp. "Hugh Mungus." it coughed out, Mustang flinched. He knew it was foolish, that the stupid thing was just shouting out names, but still, the name of his best friend got to him. "Don't like that one, do you?" The blond looked at him, a glint in his eye, "Al Kiline." Another snap and the creature screamed obscenities at them both, "Let me try again then, Eddie Fication."

"Enough."

"Got something against the name Ed do you? Eddy Torial? No? Ed Able?" The blond actually grinned, "How about, Ed Dition." He didn't even have time to try and move away as Scar slammed his hand into his chest, dissolving parts of his ribs. As he hung there, gasping, Roy gave the signal that would let the others know that they were coming out. He refused to think of it as acknowledged defeat. It wasn't even a tactical retreat in his mind. He was just sick of this, and it was obvious from the look on Scar's face he was as well. The use of names they knew in this sick game was the last straw.

"For now, We'll just call you Fox. After all, 'Yuri Fox.'" He called as he strode out of the room.

_**_POV NARUTO_**_

Naruto hung there, hurting. His world was nothing but pain, even with his tormentor's gone. The Kyuubi's healing always stung, but at such a level, with so much use, it hurt almost as much as the wounds it healed. He wished he could just pass out, but he actually hurt too much for that, even._ But, I didn't tell them my name..._ He thought with pride. As his reward, he allowed himself to just hang there and hurt. It had been really hard, harder then he'd thought, to keep up the 'game' instead of giving them what they wanted. A treacherous part of him whispered that he should just tell them; they'd stop hurting him if he did. _'It's not like a name can hurt anyone...'_it had whispered. Still, he persevered. His name could lead them back to his village...his friends and family. He couldn't risk it.

The worse part was the Kyuubi. It had fought him, raging to be let out, lusting to kill them. The fox didn't care about the village, Naruto knew that in his very soul. It's argument that killing those two would protect the village was flawed, he knew it. He knew there were other people, just on the other side of the wall, just as dangerous. _'I'll never make it out of this room alive if you do that!'_he argued. Kyuubi just laughed and called him a fool. It swore it would survive and protect the village if Naruto would just let it out...

Of course, the fact they'd called the Kyuubi, demon lord of the forest a rabbit-dog, and worse yet, a _cat_ really had not helped matters.

So the teen had struggled on two fronts. It was easier to do now then it had been against Pein. Ibiki and Jiraiya had taught him well to prepare him for when the Akatsuki came.

Ibiki had worked with him on restraints and how to escape almost anything when he was a child. Granted some of it really hadn't been deliberate, Ibiki had spent a lot of time trying to stop the youngster from causing trouble in the village. When he had come back from rescuing Gaara, he had once again gone to the older nin. The rescue had left him shaken. Gaara had shared something things with him that truly worried Naruto. He had shared his very real fear with the man, only to find out his master had been there before him and had requested help on his student's behalf.

Ibiki's lessons had been harsh.

Naruto could hold out for days against the fox. Longer against his captives. He just had to convince the Kyuubi that they needed to be untied in their plan to escape. He just had to buy time until he could think of a way out of this mess. A way that didn't involve letting his inner demon loose. They seemed too interested in his 'friend'. He couldn't let them have Kyuubi, his father had trusted him with the Bijuu for his village's sake...he wouldn't fail.

He couldn't afford to.

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><p><strong><em>Names were taken from a site called "Fun with Names". The idea came in part from the reviewer Tachi Kagahara, though I was planning on revisiting the name issue. Probably wont be the last time, either.<em>**

**_I feel bad for what I've done to poor Naruto... Please keep reading...I swear things will get better for Naruto! (eventually at least...hey, I did warn you guys)._**

**_So, what we have here, is a failure to communicate. Literally. To sum up the problem, Roy and Co. are afraid Naruto is out to bring down their Nation at the least, or the world. Naruto is afraid that they're going to attack his village...or take Kyuubi from him. Now, if everyone just calmed down and stopped trying to intimidate/piss each other off, this would be straitened out in no time..._**

**_Yeah, right._**

**_I would like to point out that Naruto has not lied to them. He's just...not told them things._**

**_Our Blond still is clueless how he got there, by the way. For all you readers asking about his chakra, well. Let me just say he DID in fact, arrive by the "Gate of Truth"...Naruto is low on chakra because of his little trip through the gate. someone had to pay the fee, and it sure as hell wasn't the fox. (I have this mental image of the Kyuubi going, 'Fee? I'm with him!' and shoving Naruto in front of him while the poor guy flails. Of course, Mr. Truth/God is grinning like a loon at the two of them.) He still has some chakra because the seal converts the Kyuubi's. So we won't be seeing any sage mode or mass shadow clones from him._**

**_In case you were wondering, Naruto's not gonna stay on that damn wall. And YES, the Kyuubi was who Naruto asked "There, you happy now?". Also, he didn't like the fact that Naruto criticized his ears._**

**_I think that's everything._**

**_So who want's to be who's gonna win this? Naruto or Roy? Who gives in first?_**

**_Love to all my readers! Seriously. Please keep reading, and Review if you want. I'll admit I haven't started the next chapter. I do have a good amount planned though...does that count?_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Sorry for the wait, all. As usual, next chapter is already started. This chapter is a bit longer...This was a logical place to stop it, however. Sorry, gang, I really tried. I want to thank all those who have read this story, added it to their faves/alerts, and those who review. (Hahaha...As I type of this note, I just got two more reviews in my email) I know I thank you all every time, but it really does mean a lot to me. Also, a big thanks to the people who have messaged me questions. Cookies for all!**_

_**More author-y notes at the end...Don't want to put them here and give shit away.**_

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><p><em><strong>_<span>POV MUSTANG<span>_**_

He'd washed his hands for what felt like the thousandth time. In reality what he really wanted was a long shower. He also wanted to burn the cloths he had been wearing while in that room. He didn't have time. Scar had actually left a little while ago, saying he had an idea. Roy was sure that he did. He was also sure that the idea would require getting clean.

"Bastard."

He looked up at the mirror. Cold eyes stared blankly back, and expression he hadn't worn since the war. _No wonder the others have left me alone._He snorted in disgust, washing his hands yet again. His ears still rung with the screams.

"Where does that little..._SHIT_...get off using those names?" Mustang shut off the sink and stormed out, "It's got to be a trick. He's stalling for time. He's got to be." Once more in his office, he pored over the documents and reports he had, looking for anything they might have overlooked. Looking at his hands, Roy had to fight the urge to go wash them again. "Damn. That room's probably going to reek by tomorrow. Not to mention there's all that crap laying about." He thought briefly about cleaning it. _I can't go back in there right now. I'll fucking kill it. I can't take any more today..._but that's what you have subordinates for. Particularly subordinates who had homucli experience.

**__POV RIZA__**

She had to admit, even if it was just to herself, that she would have done the same thing in Mustang's shoes. That wasn't to say Hawkeye wasn't pissed off at being sent to clean up what amounted to his mess in a locked room with a dangerous Homunculus.

_Well, it's nothing a few head-shots can't fix._Riza reasoned as she took a couple of deep breaths before signaling to the men that she was ready. Her colleges would be staying outside in the hallway ready to offer support while she and Armstrong went in to clean up and remove any potential weapons. They were to also possibly run for help. Really, it depended on how well secured the homuculi was before it started to make trouble.

And she knew it was going to cause trouble. They always did.

Armstrong opened the door for the third time that day revealing just why the Brigadier General wanted nothing to do with this room.

Fuery summed it up quite nicely, "Shit."

"I don't even want to KNOW." Havoc concurred. Both men had their weapons ready, but the homuculus was not in sight.

Hawkeye quickly took in the statue, splattered in blood, what appeared to be a pinkie in front of it and wrote it off. It hadn't been in there earlier, so it wouldn't be now. There was nothing by the rubble pile except a burned shoe. The far wall however, caught her attention. It no longer shined dully in the florescence light. The whole wall was charred and smeared with blood. Parts of it buckled outwards strangely, an actually puddle of blood underneath.

_Well, now I know where it was, now to figure out where it is..._She took a step into the room, flanked by Armstrong. A feral growl sounded from her right. Quickly she spun and leveled her weapon. "Don't move." Red hate-filled eyes watched her as the creature casually tossed a rock hand to hand. It had apparently been trying to use the rock like a hammer on the walls. "I said freeze! Drop the stone and put your hands up!"

It grinned, revealing enlarged canniness. Everything about it exuded menace, the wildly spiked hair and tattered cloths seemed to move in a nonexistent breeze. The lines on it's face had become wider, more primitive looking. "Lieutenant..."

"Stand steady Major." She understood his concern all too well. "I will shoot you. Drop the rock now." She didn't even hesitate to pull the trigger when the beast's eyes narrowed in hate.

**BAM****!**

_Damn, he's fast! _It was gone in a flash, now coming at her from the left, dead center to the door.

**BAM!BAM!**

The first shot went a little low and to the left, clipping it's shoulder, sending a spray of blood at this range. The second shot was dead on. The blond head snapped back as it stumbled to a halt. Riza kept her gun trained on it, waiting for the homuclui to fall. "I warned you." She growled, not even sure if it could hear her. Instead of dropping like she had half expected, the beast stumbled forward another step, it's head whipping forward and down. There's no blood...she realized belatedly.

**"_Fuck!_ OW! **OW! OWCH! OW OW OW OW!" The homuculi grabbed it's head and crouched down where it stood, attack apparently forgotten, "What the hell did you do that for, you crazy bitch? That fucking hurt!" Brilliant blue eyes glared at her sullenly as she kept her gun trained on him. "Thank God that hit my...OH NO! My hitai-ate!" The hands flew to the back of the head, undoing it's weird headband. It stared in disbelief at the dented metal. "Oh man...Iru..." He looked up at them, before looking back to the headband, "I'm so dead. Why did you have to go and do that?" It sniffed, "My hitai-ate..."

"The lady did warn you."

"Shut it, sparkly." The blond growled.

Hawkeye cocked her gun, "You. Stop talking or I'll put the next one in your eye." The homuclui glared at her before putting it's hands up, headband, _no, he called it a hitai-ate,_dangling from his right hand. "Get against the wall," She gestured with her gun to the left and surprisingly the homoculi listened. As it stood there continuing to glare Armstrong got to work.

She didn't like the way the homunculus watched his every move as he alchemically removed the rubble and smoothed out the surfaces. It even whistled appreciatively as Armstrong removed the blood and gore. "Don't suppose you could add a bed?" The homuculi looked at Riza, gun held steady and focused on its head, "Didn't think so." It tied it's dented hitai-ate back on and leaned against the wall, apparently unconcerned.

It can't hurt to try..."Why are you here?"

The blond looked surprised by her question, "Because you put me in here, didn't you?"

"No, I mean why did you attack us?"

"That's not what you said." The blond grumbled, "Don't know why the hell I should tell you anything. You tried to kill me!" She honestly couldn't argue with that. It did get her thinking, though, that maybe they were handling the situation wrong. She'd have to talk to Mustang later. The blond homucli continued to watch them with hard eyes. He shifted his weight and Riza's gun twitched, a quick smug glance at her told her he had seen it and was amused before he went back to staring at Armstrong.

"Tell me, is there a reason you are glaring at me in particular?"

It's possible he's plotting something. The major must have done some serious damage, not to mention he's the one who bound him..."The major asked you a question. Answer it."

"Why does everyone think they can just boss me around? Answer this, tell me that...Gah, it's worse then the academy." He pointed a finger at Armstrong, and for a second Hawkeye thought he was going to attack somehow. "YOU!" Armstrong actually jumped, "You own any green spandex?"

"...No, I don't believe I do...?"

"Orange leg warmers?"

"Er...No...Is there..."

"Yosh!" He nodded, "That would have just been to scary..."

Armstrong looked at her, obviously confused. Hawkeye shrugged, she had no clue what he was going on about either. "I must admit, your behavior reminds me a bit of a certain youthful alchemist I once knew."

"Gack! He said it!"

"It? Would you please try and make sense?"

The blond just continued to mutter to himself. Suddenly a loud rumble could be heard, silencing the blond.

"Was that..." Riza began, blinking in disbelief as the sound echoed threw the room again, "Your stomach?"

Blue eyes glared at her. "No." The rumble came again, muted.

"Really? Come now, boy, I had heard you were refusing to answer any questions, but be serious for a moment. That is obviously a stomach growling." Armstrong flexed, "I assume it is not the Lieutenant's and I know it is not mine. That just leaves you."

"Why can't it be them?" The creature pointed to the door, his stomach betraying him once again. "ERRRR SHUT UP YOU STUPID THING!" He pouted, "What are you expecting? You know, it takes a lot of energy to heal up like that! Of course I'm hungry! Not that you or that heartless bastard care. Well? Aren't you going to say anything? If not, can you get the hell out so I can go back to trying to escape..." He slapped a hand over his mouth, making it obvious he hadn't meant to say the last bit out loud.

"Still planning on escape? We can't have that, now." Armstrong casually punched the ground. The hard floor surged forward, trailing blue sparks as it raced up and around the Homunculus's legs. Two ropes shot up and covered his hands before continuing to the ceiling. "That should hold you for a bit, at least."

"Har. Har."

"Lieutenant, if we are done here?" He turned to leave. Hawkeye couldn't help her grin as she calmly holstered her weapon. She carefully made sure to hide the slight shaking of her hands. Her nerves were defiantly shot, and she quickly followed her friend out of the room. She had much to tell Roy.

_**_POV Mustang_**_

Mustang found himself contemplating creating a stamp with his signature and setting up one of his men to do the rest of his paperwork. He really had too much on his mind with this new homunculus to be bothered with the tedious bureaucracy that unfortunately went a long with his job.

He thought again to Hawkeye's suggestion to attempt to bribe the creature for answers. _So it apparently is feeling weakened, thanks to our earlier little...chat. The easiest way for it to get it's energy back would be with a philosopher's stone, which I know it doesn't have. It would be the perfect bribe. _A knock on the door temporarily interrupted his train of thought, "Come in! Too bad I don't have one either..."

"Have one what?" Scar asked, casually walking into the room, followed by Dr. Marco. "I brought a friend. I was thinking that Marco might be willing to help in getting some answers. I went to his place earlier, and he confirmed that he had a small philosopher's stone remaining. It is possible, given the damage we inflicted on that thing, that it will be willing to trade information for it."

"Brilliant! Hawkeye was just in here a little while ago, and she suggested much the same thing. I'd sent her and Armstrong in to do some cleanup, and while they didn't get any answers, she told me that with out a doubt that damn homunculus is hurting." He turned to the doctor, "Well? Do you think you could help?"

"Scar told me a bit about what was going on, but before I give you this," Marco pulled out a small vile containing a dark red jelly-like liquid, "I want the full story."

"Settle in, then. This is one hell of a story."

_**_POV NARUTO_**_

It was a matter of pride that he not be tied up the next time his captors entered. Getting out of his latest binding had been a bit tougher then the last three. Or, at least the two he was actually responsible for. The last thing he remembered after his "Chat" with Mustang and Scar was attempting to reach sage-mode. Looking back on it, meditating in a room that was brimming with the smell of pain, anger and blood wasn't exactly the way to channel calm thoughts and get in touch with nature. It was, however, a very good way to get the Kyuubi to take over your body and bust out of there.

Or, it would have been except for timing. "If they had been even ten minutes later, I would have been so screwed! Damnit you stupid fuzzball, it's MY body." _**For now, anyway.**_ "For always!" **_It is lucky for you that the woman's attack stunned me then, isn't it?_** "You almost got me killed!_**" **__**No. I almost freed us. If you had not been fighting me, I would have...**_ "Gotten us ALL killed!" _**Just remember boy, all you have to do is let me take over. I'd get us out of here. Of course, there won't be much left when I am done...**_the fox chuckled darkly in the back of Naruto's mind. The blond did his best to tune it out as he went back to looking about the room, once again looking for weak spots.

Unfortunately, thanks to his visitors, he was back to square one. On the plus side, at least the room smelled nicer. With a sigh he pulled out the rock he had hidden in his jacket. "Time to get started on Operation: Get the Hell Out of Here!" with that, he slammed his make-shift weapon into the wall. Thanks to his strength and his skill, the rock in his hand held up to it's abuse. He squinted, blue eyes almost cross-eyed as he eyed the wall as he looked for any signs of damage. "YES! A chip!" He eyed the chipped spot, "I'll be out of here in no time!"

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><p><strong><em>Here are the rest of the notes. Firstly, I'm not overly happy I had to put a third POV in this story. I re-wrote this chapter a few times trying to take Riza's POV out and make it's Naruto's, but it really just didn't work. She's not going to become a regular.<em>**

**_For those of you who were wondering if Naruto's going to be regaining his crazy chakra stores...nope. The gate isn't contiuously draining him, but chakra is energy, and Naruto's kinda on empty. He hasn't eaten since he's arrived, actually, his last meal would have been worms and Grubs with the toads, which is really not that filling in the long run. _**

**_For those of you who liked the whole Beat-the-crap-out-of-Naruto-for-answers, well, can't say we've seen the end of THAT method._**

**_I did try and make this chapter longer, I swear it! I wish I could just do some written alchemy and make this story go from my brain to the screen, I've got (what I think) some awesome scenes for later chapters, and I can't wait to get to them! I am going to try and not rush this along to get to them, however. So, please stick with me. A fair warning, my computer is no longer charging, so I may vanish for a bit while I find a new charger...or something. Back to some late LATE night Yuu Yuu Hakusho marathon._**


	9. Chapter 9

**Behold! Another longer chapter in under a week! I have no life! Next one is started, by the way. Hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. You remember when I said there were scenes I was really looking forward to? This was one of them. Thank you again everyone who's added this to alerts, faves and lists! It's thanks to you all that this chapter got up so quickly. I didn't feel right leaving you all hanging.**

**I want to give a big thanks to my reviewers. It's really hard to not just tell you what's going to happen sometimes, you guys make me feel so loved! Fumetsu Kaji, thank you for realizing that Naruto's been dropping hints! I'd've sent you a message, but you dissabled it.**

**If I didn't message you back on your review, please know I DID read it, and LOVED the feedback, I just forgot who I got back to and who I didn't. Please enjoy while I go off to eat doughnuts and watch horror movies.**

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><p>Naruto slammed his rock as hard as he could into the wall in a pique of rage. "I've been at this for hours! Why arn't I through this wall yet?" The poor abused rock disintegrated in his hand. "AHHHH FUCK!" Just then, the blue discharge that he had come to hate danced around the door. Foolishly, he stood in front of the hole he had made in an attempt to hide it.<p>

Mustang was the first one in, followed Scar and another man carrying a bag."Not bad, Stupid. Spent all night on that, didn't you?" With a smirk, Mustang slapped the wall, simultaneously sealing the door and patching the wall.

The shinobe glared at the trio, "Prick," He griped halfheartedly. "Who's your friend? Another perv who gets his rocks off with torture ?"

"Hardly." With another flourish of Alchemic skills Mustang re-created the table from his first visit. He just rolled his eyes as Naruto clapped, "Have a seat. We're going to have a little chat."

With confidence he didn't feel Naruto strolled up to the table and sat on it, ignoring the chairs. "Didn't you already try this before? I'm telling you nothing, Charcoal-breath."

"I know you're a monster, but you could at least pretend to be civilized." Mustang sighed, holding out a chair for the stranger. Naruto flinched, he truly hated it when people called him that. With a sigh, he swung about, his butt landing in a chair. He crossed his legs as the chair rocked back, his heels still on the table's edge.

"Better?" He asked smugly, looking over at the new addition. It was an older man, his hair going silver on the bottom. His face was frightening, it looked almost as if it had been partially melted. The blond had seen similar scars once or twice on veterans of the last ninja war. _I wonder what he looked like before he took that jitsu to the face...Tsunade-baa-chan could fix him up. _He stared, _Probably, anyway._"Hey, Mister, did that happen during the war, or did you really piss someone off?"

"Why, do you find my appearance frightening?" The man asked as Mustang and Scar sat, flanking him. He placed the bag carefully on the table.

The teen contemplated the man for a moment before shrugging, "No, not particularly."

"I see. These scars are my way of atoning for my sins." The man ran a hand over his face, "I am a doctor who committed many wrongs in my youth."

"Marcoh..." Mustang's voice had a growl to it, a warning Naruto supposed.

"A doctor?" The blond frowned, "I don't need a doctor, I'm not hurt._" __Of course, doctors can hurt you a LOT..._he mussed, thinking of his friend and her teacher. His stomach rumbled as if agreeing.

A malicious grin formed on Scar's face, "We brought Doctor Marcoh here to offer you a trade."

"No deal."

"But you haven't heard the offer, yet, Stupid."

"I thought you were going to stop calling me that, Ash-for-brains."

Mustang smirked, "But it fits you." He turned serious for a second, "If you told me what sin you were..."

"I propose a trade, homunculus," Marcoh interrupted as he dug into his bag. "If you give me the information we need, I will give you this." He pulled out a small vile and placed it on the table. Naruto stared at it in mild curiosity. Within the vial was a dark red substance that swirled around slowly. " A philosopher's stone."

Naruto blinked, "Philosopher's stone?" _That is defiantly NOT a stone._

"Yes."

"Uh-huh." The chair banged into he floor loudly as he swung his legs down. He leaned forward and looked intently at the vial as he crossed his arms. His stomach gurgled but he ignored it.

"Careful, creature." Scar warned. "You have to answer our questions first."

"Why?" the blond looked at the three men, obviously confused.

Mustang steepled his fingers as he leaned in, "It's a fair trade. You've obviously used a lot of energy in the last few days. If you answer just a few questions, we'll give you this to replenish some of what you have lost. Equivalent exchange."

"Hmmm..." The blond leaned back. _Why the hell would I want this? You can't eat a stone...and that shit isn't even a stone anyway! I bet it's poison...I can play this game too, asshole._"How many questions?"

"All of them."

"No deal."

Mustang frowned, "fifty."

"I bet you don't even have fifty questions!"

Marcoh put a hand on the younger man's shoulder as Mustang sputtered. "Seven." The doctor said, "Answer just seven questions completely to the best of your ability without lieing and I will give you this stone."

"Seven huh?" Scar actually grinned, "How poetic of you, doctor."

Ok, now I'm confused..."Seven it is," Mustang nodded, a glint in his eye, "Agreed?"

"So, if I answer your seven questions, you'll give me that," Naruto pointed at the vial.

"Yes." Marcoh nodded, "I'll give you this to eat."

"All I've got to do is answer your questions, though." Naruto cocked his head to the side._ Eat it? What is he, nuts?_

"That's the deal we're offering you."

"Seven questions for a stone." The boy fell silent. _It's got to be a trick. How stupid do they think I am? What the hell am I supposed to do with a not-a-rock stone? **You could give it to me. **_The blond winced,_ You stay out of this! No one asked you._

The silence was interrupted by an obviously impatient Mustang, "Well?"

"It's a tempting offer." The blond grinned if I was a three year old. "But I'm going to have to say no."

The dangerous look was back in their eyes again. "Why?" Marcoh asked calmly. He truly seemed curious.

"Well...It's not going to get me out of here, for starters." Naruto explained. Something about the old man made him want to really explain it. "You guys said nothing about letting me go. Just giving me the stone."

"You could always use the stone to restore your energy and then escape." Mustang said through gritted teeth, "Stupid."

"Bull. know that little thing wouldn't fill me up at all!" Naruto slammed his hands on the table, "I'd rather eat worms again than take that stupid stone!" His stomach rumbled traitorously, "WORMS AND GRUBS I tell you!"

The three stared at him in shock. With a huff, Naruto sat back in his seat sulking as his stomach growled loudly.

Marcoh stood, tapping the other two on the shoulders, "Would you mind if I spoke with my companions outside for a moment?"

"Yes, I DO mind! He shouted at their backs as the door shut behind him

_**_POV MUSTANG_**_

Roy was as mad as he ever had been with a homunculus. He'd really thought they'd had it, this time_. Pain doesn't work, bribes don't work..._"That's it! I'm going to go roast that thing till is good and dead."

Scar cracked his knuckles, "Right behind you."

"I take it things didn't go according to plan, sir?"

"No, Havoc, they didn't."

"Stop it, both of you!" Marcoh stepped between the closed door and Mustang, "You need to calm down for a moment and think about this rationally."

"Oh, I'm being rational. That thing is a threat and a pest, and I'm _rationally_going to kill it. Forget answers, I'll just figure it all out after I kill the damn thing."

"No."

Mustang glared at the man who had returned his sight, "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"Havoc, could you go and get me a meal from the cafeteria please?"

"uh...Sure..." With a hesitant look at his friend, Havoc took off to retrieve the desired meal.

Scar frowned, "What exactly are you planning, Doctor?"

"Exactly what it looks like, we're going to feed him." He glared back at Mustang, "A little good will goes a long way, or have you forgotten that, Brigadier General?"

No, it's more then that..."What are you plotting, really?" Mustang asked as he forced himself to be calm.

Marcoh just shook his head, "I want to confirm something first. I will fill you in afterwards. When we go back in, both of you follow my lead." Just then Havoc came trotting back carrying a tray laden with the simple fare offered in the cafeteria. "Thank you. This is perfect. Mustang, if you could be so kind as to open the door, please?"

"All right, but When we're done here, I want answers, doctor." With a sigh he opened the door. Roy was more then a little surprised to find the homunculus sitting at the table where they had left him. His head was down and he was apparently snoring. _Idiot. Maybe he really is Sloth._ The moment they entered the room however, the blond head popped up, eyes on the plate of food. _Or Gluttony._

"Food!"

"Yes, food. I am sure it's hard to concentrate with your stomach growling so much, so I decided to bring you something to eat."

Blue eyes watched the doctor warily as he put the plate down on the table and sat. Roy shrugged to himself and he and Scar sat as well. "Why do you care?"

Marcoh smiled, "Because I'm a doctor, of course. it's a doctor's job to help people, after all."

The blond frowned, leaning forward and sniffing the plate, "Well, I don't smell any poison."

"Why you little..." He forced himself to calm down at the doctor's gesture.

"Eat up."

The blond looked down at the plate, "Well, can't let good food go to waste, right?" The creature pulled the plate the rest of the way over and started to devour the food. "Or not so good..." He choked, "I miss ramen..." _Ok, I can't really argue with the food being bad here, but what is ramen?_

"Well, it's better then 'worms and grubs' I believe it was?"

"Yeah." The blond shuddered, "Shima made me a lot of grub. And by that, I mean literally. Her meals are grubs. And she doesn't even cook them half the time before we all eat!" _Who's Shima?_ Mustang mused_, Keep him talking, Doctor! We're finally getting somewhere with this. Brilliant!_

"It sounds unpleasant."

"You bet!"

"I can't imagine eating grubs for a meal, can you , Scar?"

"The Ishballen people have a few dishes that contain such ingredients," Scar admitted, "I find such meals unapealing."

"Really? I'd love to try one sometime." Marcoh turned back to the humoculi as it finished the food, "Is this Shima Ishballan then?"

"Huh?" The blond blinked in confusion, "No way! Her hair isn't even white. I think she dyes it though." He laughed, "She's a toad." A Chimera?

"A toad, really?" It nodded, "Well, that explains the diet, doesn't it."

Blue eyes blinked in an unfocused way, "Crap. I probably shouldn't have told you that."

Roy couldn't help the smirk, "You just realized that now?" He stood with the others. As he rose he placed his palms on the table, creating a cot with a lovely chain that ran from one of it's legs to the leg of the blond homuculi. "I heard you wanted a bed." The blond growled at him, "No, no need to thank me."

The trio was silent on the walk back to Mustang's office. Roy, for his part, was torn between being excited about finally getting something out of the strange humucluli, and pissed off at Marcoh for obviously keeping things to himself. He kept the peace though, until they reached the room.

"Mind telling me what the hell that was all about?"

"Confirming a theory."

"Really? It looked like you were being kind to a monster."

"Careful, Scar. There are some who still see you as such." The doctor eased himself into a chair.

Roy snapped, "Are you suggesting he's not a monster? Humuculi are dangerous! Or have you forgotten that they almost destroyed this country?"

"I haven't forgotten. Far from it. Let us not forget little Selim is still left." The doctor sighed, "This one, the one you have in the cell right now, I wanted to see for myself what he was like."

"He's a pain in the ass."

"That's not what I mean. We have basically seen three distinct types of homuculus." _What on earth is he talking about? _"The first kind would be Father. Multiple strong abilites, able to create more like itself, and original. The second would be like Lust, Gluttony Envy and Pride. These are distinct in their abilities, and are unable to create more. They can combine though, like when Pride ate Gluttony." The man paused and looked hard at both men, "Based on what both you and Scar have told me, I suspected that this one is the third kind."

"Which is...?"

"A humuclui like Greed or Wrath."

_Wrath and Greed? What does...no, wait..._"Are you suggesting that he's human? We saw him turn into a monster!"

"Wrath was one and the same as Bradly, though. Bradly had existed before he became Wrath. Same goes for Greed. That stupid prince is still around." Mused Scar, "Are you saying he's like that?"

"So what if he is?"

"Greed became our ally."

"And Wrath was the hardest opponent I have ever faced."

"Wrath, no, Bradly, had been raised and trained from childhood to become a tool of Father. He lived to do Father's will. Greed and Ling came to an understanding. Greed hated Father, and so did Prince Ling." Mustang began to pace. "He could be like Wrath. It wouldn't matter if he was ever human."

"I'm a doctor. If he' was ever human, we have to try and reach him."

"We don't know that he was human." _He's against what we've been doing, is what he really means. Damnit, he could have a point though. He was able to get something out of it. A Chimera...this could be so much bigger then we expected..._ All the signs pointed to this new humuculi being raised by a toad Chimera._ He'd suggested that he had not always eaten with the toad..._"Wait...he said Shima didn't cook before 'we all eat'...SHIT, there could be more like him out there."

"We need answers."

"What you need is an expert on humucli." Suggested a man as he clambered in the window.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Sorry for the wait. And a Late Happy Halloween!_**

**_This chapter was re-written like 5 times. I'm reasonably happy with it. This has been the week from hell, I lost two gerbils, a tank full of fish, then we got hit by a snowstorm on Saterday, lost power for 26 hours, had no net when it came back, and a tree branch landed on my car, breaking the windshield. Then shit happened at work on Monday. And my computer is still dieing. Honestly, I'm so miserable, you guys as lucky I wrote a chapter. But, I know that there are people out there who really like this story (dare I say love?) and I don't want to let you guys down._**

**_So I beat the shit out of my angst and banged this puppy out._**

**_Then I looked at it said "Ah this is crap!" and did it again._**

**_And again, and again till I liked it._**

**_Next chapter is started, and HOPEFULLY will be up this weekend. Depends what else goes wrong, lol._**

**_Thank you to all my lovely readers, reviewers, favers and alerters. Thank you to those who sent me Pm's too. I seriously needed it. Lots of cookies for you all._**

_**Please enjoy this nice new MUCH longer chapter! No notes at the end, I think this one's self explanatory, but feel free to msg me questions or drop a review, I'll get back to you.**_

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><p><em><strong>_<span>POV MUSTANG<span>_**_

Mustang didn't even bother turning to look. "What are you doing here, Ling?"

"Is that any way to greet a friend who's come all this way to visit?" Ling tisked as he and his ever-present shadow, Lan Fan, made themselves comfortable. "I got the old emperor to send me back to 'improve the relations between our two countries.'" The prince grinned, "Or something like that. It's just such a long way to Central, though, I thought I'd visit. Did you miss me?"

Mustang could feel a migraine coming on, "Now is not a good time."

"Really? Problems?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain giant fox that crushed your storage building, would it?"

"How...?"

"Lan Fan, of course."

"Yes, well then you know we have it under control."

"I'd be willing to help, you know." There was a knock at the door. "Ahh, looks like the rest of our party has arrived."

"The rest of your...?" Mustang sputtered as Hawkeye came into the room followed by a blond teen and a young girl with her dark hair in pigtails. "Not you two!"

"Cor...I mean General! It's good to see you again," The boy began, gray eyes sparkling before he turned to frown at Ling, "You could have come with us in the front door, you know."

Ling shrugged, "it's more fun this way, right Lan Fan?"

"It's irresponsible for the next emperor!"

"May..."

Roy sighed as he sat down heavily at his desk, "Why is it whenever anything dangerous happens, you and your brother show up, Al?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Where is the little runt anyway?"

Al sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "I'm not really sure. Honestly, I haven't heard from him since we left. You know how Brother is, though."

Scar smirked and muttered, "He's probably off in jail or something."

"Scar-san! Al-san's brother wouldn't do something like that," May put in, Ignoring Al's relief that someone else was standing up for his brother, "He's probably starving on the street."

Mustang couldn't help but laugh, feeling some of the stress just melt away_. __It's really good to see them, though I wish their timing was a little better. I don't like Xing knowing our problems...on the other hand, no one knows homunculi the same way Ling does. The little prick might be able to help. _"Marcoh?"

For a moment, the older man looked confused. Roy watched as he realized what he was asking. The man seemed surprised, then a little hesitant, most likely because Ling was from Xing. He watched as the man warred with the question Mustang had given him. It seemed so simple, Marcoh wanted a way to try and reach the boy, help him in some way. With Ling, they probably could do it, the young man had insight on the situation, if nothing else, he could trick the homunculi into talking.

But there was a risk.

Ling could report to his father what was going on, leaving their nation open to a possible attack. He could also blackmail them; it was obvious he knew that none of them had reported this. Or, Ling could get the homunculi on his side and attack them.

Mustang thought about the young prince's personality_.__Then again, maybe this is a really bad idea..._He glared at the teen, who, as he expected, completely ignored him. He was almost as infuriating at Ed.

Marcoh looked up, determination in his eyes as he nodded. "Scar?"

Scar sighed, "He can't do any worse then we have." Red eyes met black, "If he steps out of line, you could always just..."

"Hey now! Have a little faith in me!" Ling said, "I'm just here to help. Homunculi are a danger to all of us, you know. I seriously doubt Father would have stopped after he destroyed Amestris." The young man idly played with the folder containing all they had found out _how the hell did he get that?_"As for going back with this information, well it is tempting, but really, there's nothing in it for me. I'm supposed to be 'improving' our relationships, and if the old Emperor doesn't like how I do it, well, he's out of luck then, isn't he? After all I brought him a philosopher's stone."

"We will help as well." Al put it, "I've learned a lot in the last year from May, so I might be some help. I won't let them put the people I care about though that again."

Mei started to clamor her agreement, while Lan Fan tried to speak for Ling, who was already grilling Marcoh and Scar with Alphonse. Mustang's head throbbed at the task in front of him. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do this my way. Now sit down, and shut up!" Four teens looked up at him with expressions full of cocky excitement. _Oh yeah, definitely feel a migraine coming on..._

**__POV NARUTO__**

Naruto rolled over on the cot. He'd spent the night exercising instead of attempting to escape. Well, except for getting the shackle off. He had a plan, and the first part of the plan involved nursing his slowly returning chakra by taking it easy. _This seemed so much easier last night..._The second part of the plan was a little more tricky, and really depended on his captors.

If all went well, though, he'd give these bastards something to think about.

The door opened and he eyed it from his spot of the cot with trepidation. Imagine his surprise when the Charcoal-king Mustang just cheekily waved before making room for two people to enter the room, sealing it behind them. One of the people wore a mask, much like the ANBU of Konohana. Naruto was sure the person was bristling with weapons, just like they were, too. The other person had a classically foxy face that Naruto was more then familiar with. He was basically unarmed, but moved with a grace that told the blond shinobe that he knew how to handle himself in a fight_. __Hey, he kinda moves like bushy-brows..._That was all unimportant, however.

He had food. Two massively heaping plates full of food.

Naruto sat up, eyeing the strangers warily. Well, this is a new tactic... "Yo," he waved, "You gonna eat that?"

The new guy stopped in surprise, blinking dumbly at the whiskered youth. A wide grin appeared on his face before he answered, "Well, there's a lot here. I might be willing to share with a friend." He came over to the cot and cocked his head to the side. Naruto, never being the fool around food, and wanting to keep a good distance from this guy, moved over to the far end of the cot, tossing the shackle to the floor as he did. He noticed that the ANBU look-alike tensed suddenly, but backed down when the other guy just shook his head slightly So he's the leader... "I'm Ling, from Xing."

"And I'm really hungry, so are you going to share?" Ling just frowned at him. "Charcoal-for-brains calls me 'Stupid.'" Naruto shrugged, "I'm not too fond of it, but it'll do for now."

Ling shook his head as he plopped on the other end of the bed, putting the rather full plates in between them, "That's a horrible name."

"Yeah, well, he said something about calling my 'Yuri Fox', but that's just mean. I'mnot a fox." _Drugged, maybe? Gah, this is so mean! It's food, you shouldn't be allowed to use food to manipulate someone! _His stomach rumbled, voicing it's own complaints.

"Well, aren't you going to eat up?" The other puffed, tossing his long hair over his shoulder. Something in Naruto's face must have given his dilemma away, "Hey, you really don't have to worry, my friend, it's all safe. Here, let me prove it." He deftly ate a small bite of everything on the plates.

The blond just tugged at his hair before quickly grabbing the rubbery plastic spork, "That doesn't prove anything!" He gripped before stabbing some meat with the fork, "That just gives you a head start!"_They can't kill me with poison, and Tsunade-baa-chan always said drugs never really worked right one me, so here's hoping!_

"Hey now! Some of that's mine!" The two teens made quick work of the food, and soon, all that was left were the inedible bits, though Naruto did eye them speculatively. "Wow, you were hungry."

"Mmmmhummm."

"I bet you used to eat your folks out of house and home all the time."

"...Never knew them." Naruto sighed, the warm feeling of being full fading as reality set back in.

"Really? Sorry to hear that. I was never really close with my father, either. He's a bit of a selfish jerk." _Nothing about his mother?_

_Here it comes..._

"You know," Ling began, "If you decided to co-operate, you could eat like this any time you wanted."

The blond contemplated his words before musing, "You know, your face would look much better with my fist in it." He gave Ling his trademark grin, "Sorry, but I said I wasn't going to tell cigarette-butt anything, and I always keep my word."

The two lapsed into silence. It wasn't quite strained, but nor was it companionable. _Just because we ate together, doesn't make us friends..._"I'm just like you, I bet." That got Naruto's attention, at least. It always did, after all. Ling noticed and grinned, "Well, that is to say, I used to be like you. I was a Homuculous, too, you know." To the blank look he continued, "No, really! I was Greed for quite a while. I learned all sorts of things from it. I could help you, maybe."

"You were Greed?" The blond mused, "But now you're not?"_ How can you BE Greed?_

Ling moved closer, almost conspiratorially, and he had to fight the sudden urge to growl at him, he was much to close. "That's right. I'm free of him now. Why? Do you want to know how?" Since he was watching the intruder so intently, he noticed the gleam in his eyes.

"Who says I need any help? I have no freaking clue what you are talking about."

The dark haired guy leaned back, "You can't hide it from me. The people of Xing, well, let's just say we're a bit more...equipped for finding things like you." He opened an eye, "I can feel you."

"That's just...creepy."

Ling chose to ignore the comment, "I felt you the moment I came here. I know what that feeling is. It's something that doesn't belong in this world. A homunculus, and it's coming from inside you."

_Crap. Just. Crap._"You are a seriously creepy guy. I mean, I thought I knew some creepy guys, and ok, yeah, I do, but you're right up there with Oroch...that snake guy."

The other teen crossed his arms, obviously annoyed, "Don't you get it? You can't hide what you are from me. You might as well spill, because now that Mustang knows for sure, he's not going to hold back anymore._"__You call that holding back? _"You seriously can't be that stupid."

"Not as stupid as you are."

"You should just let us help you. Tell us what you know and I promise we'll turn you back."

"Into what? A turnip?"

"Into a human, idiot!" _Asshole, Jinjuriki are human!_

"There's nothing to 'turn me back' into. I'm the same as I've always been. One hundred percent human. Hu-Man. Not a fox, not a monster, not a Humocu...whatever it is you called me. Just a guy. A really amazing guy, but still."

"So how do you explain turning into a giant fox-monster then?"

Naruto shrugged, "Wasn't me."

Ling grabbed his arm and shook him, "If it wasn't you, then let me help you! I understand what it's like. I can help free you from that thing."

A wave of rage blindsided the blond. Quickly he fought it down. Damn you, fox. "Bullshit! You're **Nothing**like me." He took a few deep breaths, fighting the Kyuubi as he whispered that they should test his claims, "Now I know you're full of it." He stood up and glared down at the other, "I'm really not sure how many are left who really understand what it's like," he thought briefly of Gaara, and of Pein saying he was the last, missing the ANBU leaning forward slightly "but, everyone knows there were nine, so you couldn't be one!"

A moment of tense silence greeted the statement. "How do you know I'm not?"

"Because you said you weren't anymore, stupid!"_ How dare he...how dare he act like it's nothing! He's got no clue what it's like, what it was like for Gaara when Shukaku was taken from him... _"Doing something like that, it kills you! Everyone knows that. I saw that. Ga...He died. And you know what? He said it really sucked! You can't use his pain as you please!" He swung a fist at Ling, only to be blocked by the ANBU.

Without missing a beat, he lashed out with his other hand, racking a long cut along the mask as his blocked hand redirected for a chest punch. The woman avoided the followup spinning kick by leaping back, only to find Naruto still in her face. He was surprised when his fist connected with metal instead of flesh when she put up her guard. Not so surprised that he didn't pocket some of her kunai though as he dodged Ling's surprise attack from behind.

"It would be better if you would just co-operate with us!"

"You first! Hold still so I can hit you, you damn grasshopper!" Naruto wasn't too surprised when in a flash of blue he found himself glued, then chained to the floor. "DAMNIT! Let me up!"

"I don't think so." Mustang growled, kneeling down by his head. The two glared at each other for a while, "Ling, good try, but I don't think your plan worked. Your Lucky Lan Fan was here, if that punch had hit you, you'd probably be dead. He's stronger then he looks." The man stood and headed to the door, "We'll take care of this small problem tomorrow."

"HEY! Don't call me small! I'm not small, damnit!" He shouted at the door as it closed.

_**_POV MUSTANG_**_

He felt a chill at those words as he sealed the door shut with May and Al. Combined, there was no way that thing could get out. The walk to his office was habit at this point. Armstrong, Hawkeye, Marcoh and Scar were already there. For some reason, it had been designated operation headquarters, even though there really were way to many players involved to fit in it's cramped interior. Roy was just glad he could still order Havoc and Feury out of there and they listened. As he glared Scar out of his seat he sighed, _I really miss myCentral office sometimes._"Ling, what can you tell me?"

The prince sighed as he settled onto the arm of a chair, "Not much more that we didn't already know, or at least suspect. I can confirm that he's human, or at least part human. That guy's definitely got something nasty inside."

"I could feel it in the hall," May put in, "it's horrible."

Ling nodded, "Yeah. I think I saw it for a bit. The eyes. That thing wants us all dead."

"Well, we knew that."

"Can the boy be saved?"

"I don't know, Marcoh-san. When I suggested it, that's when we found out some real information."

"Such as?"

"Well, there were originally nine of them, though our guest doesn't seem to know how many are left. It's at least eight, including him."

"One's dead?"

"He said that separating the homuculus core from him would kill him. But here's the odd bit. He said he'd seen it happen, and the person it had happened to told him it sucked."

"But..." Al asked, "If he was dead then how did he tell him that?"

"Personally, I think he's stupid. Or crazy. He knows how to fight hand-to-hand though."

"So he's either older then we thought..."

"No, he said he didn't know his parents, so he had to be created after our battle with Father and the others." Lan Fan put in.

"Damn." _That means the human in him knew how to fight before he was turned into a homunculus. He's good enough to give those two a run for their money, I bet. I wonder how he'd fair against FullMetal?_ Roy had a sick, sinking feeling in his stomach. The homuculi was blond, a little short, was a pain in the ass and was really good at martial arts. It sounded a bit like a certain golden eyed blond he knew..._ The eyes, they're different..._He remembered the glare, "So, when was the last time anyone spoke with..."

"Ed?"

"The runt?"

"Edward?"

"FullMetal?"

"Elric?"

"Brother? I'm going to call Winrey right now. She might know where he is. I'm sure he's written her recently, at least." Apparently the flame alchemist wasn't the only one who was reminded of the other obstinate blond in their lives.

Hopefully, Al would come back with some good news.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey-ho! So, this has continued to be a craptastic week. Broke stuff at work every day, plus other unpleasant work related things. BUT! Got my computer fixed. So, things are starting to look up, right? All the positive support was a big help, thanks to you guys.**_

_**And to the anonymous Reviewer "Why" who wants to know why my chapters are not longer (and I guess anyone else...) I spend at least five hours typing the chapters. Then I go back the next day, edit, then I retype the parts I need to. I have a full time job with 9 to 10 hour shifts five days a week, many animals to care for, and I'll admit, anime to watch. My chapters are a few thousand words for the most part (never under a thousand) and five pages long, minimum. That's a lot, considering I post at least twice a week, and only type this at home. I know you guys want more, and I really, really want to give you more. I am trying. But, I doubt you'd want chapters filled with fluff to up the wordage.**_

_**Anyway, AGAIN thanks to all! No notes at the end, this chapter takes care of itself in explaining stuff once again. As usual if you have a question, drop a PM, message, or email and I'll try and get back to you. I am usually very good about it. Next chapter is not started, but the first page is very fully planned in my head... so it's as good as started.**_

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*&amp;_POV MUSTANG_*&amp;*&amp;*&amp;_<strong>_

The news had not been good. Winry had not heard from Ed in almost a year. Alphonse had been a wreck all night. Mustang, naturally, had done his best to assure the younger Elric that it was probably just all in their heads. Unfortunately, they knew so little about this new threat. For all they knew, Ed had been the first target. After all, he had been the one to deal the finishing blow to Father.

This morning he'd dropped Al off with Ling, May, and Lan Fan, telling them that he better not see them till noon. He would be lucky if they made it till ten, but it still gave him time to hopefully get some things done. He'd been grateful when Armstrong and Hawkeye had offered to check on their prisoner first thing. It had allowed him the time to get cleaned up, even if it was a sink-bath… Hopefully they'd still be there, and he wouldn't be tempted to do something foolish before Scar joined him.

With that thought in mind, Mustang completely bypassed his office when he got to work, heading instead towards the bigger headache. He couldn't help the grin when he saw the empty tray in the hallway._Good, so they're still in there. Well, let's go see how our little friend is doing..._With ease he clapped his hands together and placed them on the wall, opening the door once more. As the room was revealed he plastered his cocky smirk on his face.

"So how's our..." He stopped dead in his tracks. Before him were two bodies. One was smashed up against the wall, its face turned away. His ears were filled with a roaring sound as he stared at the gauntleted hand that was wrenched backwards. "Alex...?" There was a moan at his feet as he stumbled forward. With dread, he looked down. A woman lay there, bleeding profusely. His mind refused to process what he was seeing as he dropped to the floor. Gently, he rolled her on her side, "R...Riza?" He shook her gently, eliciting another moan.

Mustang's military training kicked in. His eyes quickly surveyed the room, revealing nothing else in the room except for his two fallen comrades._SHIT! He's escaped... No time for that now. Have to get help. Alex isn't moving, that's not good. I should..._He looked down at Riza, pale and bleeding in his arm_s.__How did he... not important...Got to get help!_"Riza, just hold on. I'm going to go get help, ok?"

As he stood, he felt a tug on his pants. Brown eyes looked up at him, full of pain, "Mustang..." she moaned.

Quickly the man knelt by his friend. "It's all right, Hawkeye. We'll catch him again. You just need to stay still while I get help." _I can't lose her._ "That's an order." He said as he gripped her cold hand in his. As he rose, her hand tightened, pulling her up a bit, head lulling forward. "Let go, Lieutenant. I'll be right..." She pulled hard, catching him off balance. Desperately trying not to land on his injured subordinate, he twisted and banged his head on the floor.

"Why don't you stay here, and I'll go get help?" Riza asked, slamming two knives that looked at lot like Lan Fan's into the cuffs of his shirt, pinning his arms to the ground at an awkward angle.

"Hawkeye?" How could only gape at her as she grinned.

_**PUFFT!**_

He whipped his head around to stare at where Armstrong's body had been. All that he could see was a quickly dissipating ball of smoke. When the haze faded Roy realized what a fool he'd been. _That bastard...It was a trap._ "You little..."

_**PUFFT!**_

With a swirl of smoke, Riza turned into a slightly shorter blond with spiky hair. "I'll just be taking these..." The blond said, yanking Mustang's gloves off.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT! What did you do to them?"

"What are you, an idiot?" The blond retorted, making some weird gesture with his hands.

_**PUFFT!**_

Mustang found himself looking at his double, who just shook his head, "Locked room, idiot. They came and left like forever ago." The fake Mustang turned and left the room, pulling on his stolen gloves, "Why don't you make yourself comfortable? I'm sure someone will be along soon to let you up... in a few hours."

The flame alchemist could do nothing as he watched his doppelganger stride out of the room. The way his body was positioned made it impossible for any normal human to get up. Lucky, Roy knew a few tricks. It would take time though, time he didn't think he had before they lost the homunculus forever.

_**_*&*&*&_POV NARUTO_*&*&*&_**_

Naruto quickly strode down the halls with the Fire-butt's confidence. All he had to do now was head back the way he had come in. It was so simple, but he still had to hurry. He couldn't chance that someone would discover his trick before he got out. The few people he passed in the halls saluted smartly and got out of his way. _Guess I was right, this guy's some big shot_. With a smirk, he started to walk a little faster. He could almost taste the fresh air.

Someone waved at him, "HEY! Mustang!"

_Shit. Just keep walking._

"I'm talking to you!" The person followed him. Naruto eyed the person without slowing down. The young man was shorter than Mustang, though the shinobi had to admit they were the same height. His hair was a golden blond, pulled back in a ponytail. Gold eyes threatened to murder him as the interloper stomped in front of 'Mustang' and stopped, hands on his hips.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," tried Naruto, "If you'll excuse me, I'm in a bit of a hurry... "

"Who are you calling so small you'd step on them?" The other shouted, stomping. "Mustang, you asshole! What did you do to Al? He called Winry yesterday and when I showed up to surprise her she smacked me with a wrench! What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Don't you give me that crap, General. I didn't just spend all night on the express train from Risembool to this hellhole just for you to blow me off. I'm exhausted, and frankly I don't give a damn if you think you've got something better to do. Explain yourself!"

Naruto tried repeatedly to get past the irate blond with absolutely no luck._Dammit! I'm running out of time! Who the hell is this guy...? I can't risk saying anything without blowing my cover..._He tugged on his stolen gloves, feeling the last kunai stashed in his sleeve. "Listen, kid, I don't have time for this."

"Oh, going to pretend you don't know me?" The blond shoved a pocket watch into Naruto's face. "How about now?"

"Get...Out...Of...My...**WAY!**" He roared, quickly clamping down on his chakra as he put a hand to his head._Shit! I'm starting to run low. Not now, not NOW! Damn it you stupid fox, leave me alone!_

The blond quickly stuck his watch back into his pants pocket, "Whoa, Roy, you ok?" he reached out.

"Get away from him, Fullmetal!"

_Busted_. Naruto didn't even bother to turn as he heard his captor running down the hall. "I really thought that would take longer," he sighed, "man my luck sucks."

"Mustang... and... CRAP!" The blond in front of him attempted to leap back. Naruto shot out a hand and caught him, spinning around so the golden eyed youth was between him and his follower. "Well, I guess that answers which one is the real you."

"You think, Ed?"

"Shut up, Roy! This is your fault!"

"How the hell is it my fault that you're being held hostage?"

"Because you made Al call Winry, who hit me with a wrench! You asshole, what the hell have you been doing while I was away?"

"Brother!"

Naruto moaned, "Could this get any worse?" as Scar, Ling, the ANBU-fake, Hawkeye, Armstrong, and two others arrived. Armstrong was holding back one of them, a sandy-blond guy with gray, worried eyes.

The other, a young teen with long black hair done up in pig-tail buns grimaced, "No, Alphonse-san! It's the homunculus!"

"WHAT? You're a homunculus?" The blond in Naruto's arm squirmed, looking at him out of the corner of his eye, "Envy?" Naruto just growled; yanking on his arms to get him to hold still, he pulled out his last kunai. "What the hell, Al, this is what you called about? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO IN YOUR MESSAGE?"

The ANBU gasped, "How did you get that?"

"What message, Brother?"

"The one you left with..."

"Winry, who hit you with a wrench when you showed up," Naruto interrupted. "Then you were on a train all night to get here and Mustang's an asshole. I KNOW already! GEESH!" With a_**PUFFT!**_he released his jutsu. It was pointless at this point anyway. "And I took this kunai and two others off of you when we fought yesterday, that's how I got this."

"Wait..." The blond in his arms squirmed again, trying to look at him, "You don't sound anything like him. Who the hell are you?"

"Not Envy, apparently. I'm not telling you guys shit." He reached a hand up, lucking his captive's arm in place and grabbed his hair, pulling in down and baring his neck. Inwardly cringing, he rested the kunai's blade against the throat. "Now let me go, or I kill him."

Mustang just smirked, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Screw you. I'm walking out that door."

"You hurt one hair on Edward's head..." Armstrong threatened, "And you won't make it out of this hall alive, homunculus or no."

"So you're really a homunculus? I thought we killed Father."

"Listen, golden eyes, I've got no fucking clue what you're talking about. And you need to shut up." Naruto hissed. His implied threat only worked for a moment, however.

"Hey, he says he's got no clue what you're talking about, guys."

"He's lying."

"Yeah, well, his knife is a pretty convincing argument."

"He turns into a giant nine-tailed fox with rabbit ears."

"It does not have rabbit ears." Naruto gripped, "And I do not."

"Anything else?"

"Other than the whole impossible-to-kill thing?"

"You know, I think that their argument's a bit more convincing than yours." The blond in Naruto's arms pointed out.

"Would you shut up? What kind of guy lights someone on fire to test if you can kill them anyway? That's messed up! Sasu...this guy I used to know did that too. Sick. And why am I even talking to you?" Naruto started to drag his hostage backwards towards the exit.

"Hey, Ed." The fire-ass called as the group slowly followed.

"Yeah, Mustang?"

"Ling say's he's one."

"Oh?" Ed stopped moving, "Well, that's different then." With a deft twist he freed one of his arms and quickly locked his hand around the base of the kunai, fighting Naruto for control of it. "In that case," He dropped his whole body down and twisted so he was facing the whiskered shinobi, hands locked together now._Oh, this can't be good._Blue surprised eyes met gold determined ones, "You're not going anywhere!" He swung around, dragging Naruto with him before bringing up his left leg and slamming it right into his stomach.

Naruto went flying, slamming into a wall. Ed stood smirking down at Naruto, "Name's Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, and hero of the people. You're not going anywhere."

_**Let me take care of this, brat. **_"No! Dammit, I can't let you do that."

"Well, I just did."

_**I wasn't asking. **_The fox chuckled, its chakra racing though Naruto. "I SAID NO!"

"Uh...is he supposed to glow?"

"No it's a first!" Mustang snapped his fingers, only to remember that Naruto had his gloves, "Scar, Armstrong!"

"On it!"

"Yes sir!"

The two rushed him, Armstrong shooting a rock bullet at his face. Naruto quickly blocked it with his arm, unfazed thanks to the red chakra coating him. Desperately he fought down the Kyuubi as the demonic beast tried to wrest control away. He didn't see Scar's approach, but he did notice as the man let out a shout as the poisonous chakra burned him.

"Don't let it touch you!" The dark haired girl called out.

"**Would you guys stop that?**" He growled out, his voice rough from the partial transformation, **"I'm a little busy right now...**" _**Give up, you know I'll win.**_"**STOP IT!**" With a final push Naruto shoved the Kyuubi's chakra back beyond the seal, "**Stupid...**..going to get..." he panted as his body returned to normal.

_**CLICK**_

Looking up he saw Hawkeye, gun inches away from his face. "Don't move."

"Fu..." blue eyes rolled back as his body gave in to chakra exhaustion. The last thing he thought was _I hope she doesn't shoot me for falling._


	12. Chapter 12

_**Yay new chapter! Next one is started, but may take a while... still a lot of things going on in my life that I need to get taken care of. Someone pointed out some spelling mistakes, and I've done my best to fix them...but my beta's computer died, so he's no help, and I'm dysgraphic and can't spell my way out of a paper sack on a good day. BUT, I misspelled these words consistently the same way, that's got to count for something, right? Please, if you guys notice any, feel free to let me know (Nicely, please. I really do try to spell; you should see this BEFORE I spell-check it). When I get a chance, I'll be going back and correcting them in the old chapters.**_

_**So, anyway...Thanks again for all those who faved, alerted, and/or reviewed! One note to follow at the end of this chap.**_

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV MUSTANG_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

"Oh, he moved; are you going to shoot him now?" Mustang sighed as he leaned against the wall momentarily. Ling always had been the master of the obvious.

Hawkeye chose to ignore him as she nudged the still blond with her foot. "He's out cold, sir." She holstered her gun. "How did he get out?"

Ed was in his face in a flash, "That's a good question. Here's another: WHAT the hell is going on?" He rounded on his brother, "And what are you doing involved with this guy, Al? You know better!"

"Brother, that's mean..."

"I don't care! Now go call Winry right now and apologize for worrying her!"

"But..."

"NOW, Al!" He shouted at his brother, without taking his eyes off his former boss. May followed Alphonse wordlessly as he skulked back towards Roy's office. "Care to tell me what shit I just stepped into, Mustang?"

"Now, Edward," Mustang began, not liking the look on the teen's face.

"I would think that's obvious," Ling cut in as he poked the monster's still form. "A homunculus showed up, started trouble, and instead of asking for help, Mr. Military here decided to handle it on his own."

"And that explains why Marcoh, Scar, and you two are here how?"

"Actually, Fullmetal, I think it explains things perfectly," Scar chuckled, "Just like old times. Right?"

"Old times, my ass," The blond grumbled, though his look became less intense.

Mustang just shook his head and pushed past Ed to the body. Kneeling, he stripped his gloves off the homunculus. "I'll just take these back now, you little bastard."

"How did he escape, sir?"

"He tricked me. He disguised himself as an injured Hawkeye, and somehow disguised the bed as you, Major. When I went to aid 'you', he trapped me, and walked out."_Please don't ask how I fell for it..._

"But sir, we left a tray outside the room to let you know we had been there."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"Mustang, the door was locked and sealed. How could you have..."

"I panicked, alright?" Mustang growled out, "It didn't occur to me till after he had me pinned that the room was locked, and there was no way he could have escaped."

"Brilliant." Alex muttered. Catching the death-glare from Roy, he quickly waved his hands, "No, I mean his plan. Brilliant. He was reasonably well behaved when the Lieutenant and I checked on him this morning. While he didn't stay where we told him to until she shot at him, he did stay back. He must have begun shortly after we left."

"But how did he know Mustang would be the one to open the door?" Marcoh knelt beside Roy and started to check over the blond. "It looks like he has some broken ribs, but they're healing fast. It's really amazing..."

"He's a real freak, that's for sure."

Armstrong was silent for a moment. "I don't think he knew who would be coming in next, he just was betting on it not being us, as we had already been in the room once. We've become too complacent, I'm afraid."

Mustang smirked darkly, "Well, we'll just have to 'thank' him for the lesson, won't we?"

"Which one is he? A new Envy?"

Scar shook his head, "No, his attributes may be similar at times, but he's most likely 'Wrath.'" The Ishballan frowned, "We haven't gotten any straight answers out of him. We know he's one of many, possibly eight or nine, and they were created after you defeated Father."

Ling took it from here, "He used to be human, you can tell that much. He's a good fighter, fast, and strong, too. From what he has said, there's chimera involved too."

"And there you have it, Fullmetal. You know everything we do." Mustang sighed, "Well, we should get him back into the cell and tied down, for all the good it's done us." He was stopped however, when Edward started to behave oddly.

With a look of intense concentration, Ed started to strip the homunculus. He started with the headband, which he pocketed. Then he quickly removed its lone shoe, and pulled at the pants. Noticing that they were being stopped by some bandages, he tore those off and yanked them down._I did not need to see this..._Mustang mused as he was blessed with the sight of frog boxers that had obviously seen better days. The golden eyed teen ignored it though, and went after the jacket and shirt next.

"What on earth are you doing, Ed?"

He gave them a typical Fullmetal stare. "Looking for the Ouroboros."

"But we already know he's a homunculus," Roy pointed out. "Besides, we don't even know if these new ones even_have_that mark."

"Meaning it never occurred to you idiots to look." The blond grunted, "Maybe he has one and maybe he doesn't." He looked at them, "Either way, it'll tell us something about these new ones, won't it?" With a yank he pulled the black shirt off the homunculus, causing the whiskered head to bang against the floor. "Oops." He muttered.

"Please tell me you're going to leave the boxers on...And stop staring at him like that, Elric. It's creepy." Roy shuddered, "I expect that look from Armstrong when he sees someone strong, not you after you just stripped someone."

"Shut up, will ya? I'm looking at something."

"What?"

"This." He pointed at the belly button.

"Wow, Ed. Something you want to tell us?"

Ed just glared at Ling, before standing and stomping his foot onto the other blond's hand. It was as if he flipped a switch, making a symbol appear around the navel. "There. You see it?" He knelt again, "It's in some strange language, I don't know what it says...Look, it's fading again, and his hand's healed." He sat back, "It's tied to his abilities somehow..."

_I suppose losing your alchemy doesn't make you any less of a genius, does it?_ "It looks like we've got some new questions for our little friend..."

_***&*&*_POV NARUTO_*&*&*_**_

The first thing he noticed was that he was hanging from his arms. The second thing he noticed was, "Hey...Where are my clothes?" He kicked his legs in protest, sending himself spinning. "Hello! You bastards! At least give me my pants back!" Naruto shouted to the empty room; even the cot was gone now. "Fuck this, I'm getting down."

With ease that would do his teachers proud, the blond shinobi swung his legs up and over his head, taking all the weight off his wrists. With a grunt, he twisted his legs up in the chain as he spun around, knowing very well that if he didn't he'd be kissing the ground. Naruto grinned, concentrating his energy to snap the chain.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?"

_Dammit. Why is my luck so crappy?_"Inverted crunches. I was bored," He puffed, trying to get the chain to spin him around so he could see the door again.

"Really? Because it looked to me like you were about to escape. Again." Naruto finally found himself facing the door, and a smug blond with a red jacket. "Mustang really must be losing his touch if he has trouble holding on to an idiot like you." Reaching into the jacket, he pulled out Naruto's necklace and hitai-ate.

"GAH! Give those back!"

"Why should I? You held me hostage." The blond held up his prizes and raised an eyebrow.

Naruto glared at him, sending himself spinning once more as he dropped his legs, "Let me guess, if I tell you what you want to know, you'll give them back?"

"Ahh good, you know how this works." The other shrugged as he waited for Naruto to stop spinning. "Maybe. It really depends on what your answers are."

"Where's Charcoal-breath?"

"Right outside. Don't worry; he's got some questions for you, too."

"Oh, goodie." Gold eyes stared at him, demanding an answer. "I don't know anything. Now give it back."

"Too bad, I don't believe you." Idly he ran his fingers along the leaf symbol, "This is supposed to be what, a leaf? Maybe a snail?" He toyed with the dent in it, "The metal's pretty strong to stop one of Hawkeye's bullets at that distance. You were lucky, Wrath."

"Why do you people keep calling me that?" Naruto huffed, "Would you stop messing around and give me my hitai-ate back?"

"Hitai-ate? Is that what this is?"

"Of course it is!"

"And what exactly is a hitai-ate?" He twirled it in the air, "It's got to mean something to you if you're so worked up about it."

_This guy is a bigger idiot than I am!_Naruto thought, giving the golden youth his best 'duh' stare. "Don't be stupid. Everyone knows what it is."

"Humor me."

"It tells you that I'm a trained shinobi."

The other blinked, "A shinobi?"

Now he was getting annoyed. "Yeah, you know, hidden warrior, sneaking about doing cool stuff...? Come on, even civilians know that a hitai-ate is the proud mark of a shinobi." He glared at the other teen, "Now give it back. I worked hard for it, and it's from Ir... someone important to me."

The other ignored him, instead holding up the necklace, "This stone is very unusual. I've never seen anything like it. Mind telling me what it's made out of?" The other blond went to put it back in his pocket. "Not very manly, though, if you ask me."

Naruto had to bite back his growl, "It was a gift."

"Really? You know, I didn't think homuculi had friends, let alone people who would give them gifts."

"I keep telling you guys, I'm not a homu-whatever."

"Ling says otherwise."

"Squinty can shove it up his ass." The door once more opened and the Fire-cracker and Scar-face walked in. "Or better yet, up his."

"I see you're just as sweet as ever, Stupid." Mustang smirked evilly. "Just so you know, thanks to that little stunt you pulled, we're going to be doing things a bit differently. You blew it, kid."

Naruto winced. Something had woken up the Kyuubi, who had been silent since he himself had come to. Dark, powerful chakra pulsed through his lean frame as the fox protested their continued captivity (and Naruto's part in it) in very colorful language. The blond did his best not to pay attention, instead watching his captors with eyes that had changed to red.

"I don't think he likes that, Mustang." Scar stated, looking at the much more feral looking teen.

The other nodded, "I think he's showing his true colors."

**"Fuck that. Let me go."** Naruto growled out**, "I'm not going to play your sick little mind games anymore, you asshole."** Forcefully he pushed back against the chakra, causing it to flare momentarily. He groaned in pain as he fought back; it was like blocking a stream of boiling water with his body, and it _hurt_. Finally it subsided, his eyes returning to their original cerulean blue. "He's not going to let me..." he whispered to himself.

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><p><em><strong>I know this one was a bit shorter then the last few, but it was necessary. With Ed here now, things are going to start going a little faster if you couldn't tell. (He is a genius, you know). Poor Naruto...This is a warning. The next chapter is going to be darker. It's one of those things that I've been looking forward to writing, but I'm dreading it, too. Oh, If you're looking for a good FMANaruto cross, go look up "Like a single grain of sand" by llothcat. It's in my faves (number 7 right now) if you want to be lazy about it. Amazing story, Ed in Naruto's world.**_

_**On a side note, ever notice how I update these late at night? Why is that? (I'm eastern USA, it's like...12:30am here)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**More notes to follow at the end, basically a quick explanation of this chapter, because I think people may need it. If you don't wanna read it, you don't have to.**_

_**Firstly though, "Thanks and thanks again" to all my Faver's Alerter's and Reviewer's. Also to the C2s that have added this story. Cookies for all (and a brownie to those who got the quote reference). I'm around...1/3 done with the next chapter, and I hope to get it up soon. This week was rough at work, and because of that I had issues with getting this chapter done. I wrote it Sunday, rewrote Monday and Tuesday, and edited today for...going on 5 hours each night? My point is, sorry for the lag this week. I am working on making longer chapters but it's kind of down to bi-weekly updates or updating every other week with possibly longer chapters. I just don't have the time to bang out 10,000 words, folks. I can only do this at home, and I'z got pets and stuff to do besides write.**_

_**Secondly, I just wanna say, since there seems to be some confusion, Roy only burnt Naruto to death once. Seriously, go back and check if you don't believe me. He tells Naruto he could do it over and over, but then in his POV he thinks about how that might ACTUALLY kill Naruto because they don't know how much power he has. So, he burns up an arm, or a leg, or a shoulder...you get the idea. It's not pretty, it's a horrible thing to do, and to me, that's actually worse than killing him again and again.**_

_**Just sayin.**_

_**Whatever.**_

_**ON TO THE CHAPTER!**_

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><p><strong><span>*&amp;*&amp;*&amp;*<span>_POV NARUTO_*&*&*&***

"Who, Father? Or is it some other mastermind?" The man didn't really seem surprised when the blond just glared at him. "You know, we've discovered something... very interesting. You see, you have this mark that appears any time you use your power, it seems."

"Yeah, so, what of it? Plenty of people do." Once again, things seemed to be rapidly going from bad to worse for Naruto.

He signaled Scar, "Well, I was wondering," Scar walked up to the now squirming blond, "what, exactly, would happen if we were to damage that mark."

Grabbing a foot that was sent at his head, the white-haired man looked grim as he reached out and lightly touched Naruto's stomach. There was a moment's pause as he gauged his power, a moment that seemed to stretch on forever to the now more-than slightly panicking youth. Every time someone had messed with his seal, it never seemed to go well. For all he knew, destroying the seal would set the Kyuubi free while killing him, or kill the fox and not him, maybe even kill the both of them. At this point, he really didn't know which outcome would be worse.

Then the moment was gone, and all he could do was scream. The pain was intense, for all that it was only a flesh wound. It was amazing, really; Scar had only removed the skin, leaving the muscles alone completely. When compared to what they'd already done to him, this was relatively mild. He'd done much the same to his own arms while training with shuriken as a child. (The third had_NOT_been amused when the ANBU brought him the bleeding child who had stolen his shuriken.) It took Naruto a few seconds before he realized where the damage really was._Kyuubi's hurt! That actually hurt him more than it did me for a change!_Of course, this meant it was taking a lot longer for him to heal, with the fox thrashing within his cage, enraged that_**'mere mortals DARE to harm him'**_as the teen hung there bleeding.

For some reason, though, the blond felt remarkably calm. It was like they'd splashed cold water on him, and in that moment with the Kyuubi distracted, he could think clearly. Granted, it really wasn't an improvement in his situation; he was still tied up, starving, had no clue what was going on, and two guys were trying to do horrible things him. Still, he felt better then he had since waking up in the body of a fox.

"That seems to have gotten his attention," mused Scar. "Maybe now you feel like giving up some answers?"

Blue eyes glared at them as he panted silently._If they do that again, I'm done for_. He snorted to himself_, Hell, I'm still screwed even if they don't. That damn furball's all set to take over, and I don't think I can stop him this time. Or even if I really want to..._Part of him longed to just give in, to let Kyuubi demolish this place, killing everyone. That part whispered that they deserved it... he couldn't do it. He remembered his painfully brief meeting with his father, the fourth Hokage. The man who had given it all to protect his village, who prevented him from doing just that after Pein had destroyed the village. He remembered his promise to his sensei, not to use the fox's power anymore...

The golden eyed blond shook his head in disgust. "Roy, stop. This isn't going to get you anywhere."

Naruto thought fast, trying to think of a way out of this situation without letting the fox loose on them all. He was running out of time, but he wasn't the number one most unpredictable ninja for nothing.

"Back down, Ed. I know what I'm doing. These things only understand pain."

His chakra was still too low, he couldn't manage any rasengan, clones, hell even a transformation.

"Oh yeah, what makes you such an expert?"

He thought briefly of Jiraiya, wondering what that tricky sage would do._SAGE! That's it!_For a second, he hesitated; the last time he had tried to reach sage mode, he'd ended up losing control. _I've got nothing left to lose_.

"I accounted for two, Ed. How many did you actually finish off, one?"

The shinobi easily drowned out the arguing around him, focusing instead on calming himself. Slowly, he started to feel the flow of the world around him. He could feel the anger radiating off the people in the room with him, and even feel people above him in other parts of the building, some rushing his way.

"...you asshole! I'm telling you, this is the_wrong_way to go about this!"

"You're a civilian now, you know. If you don't like it, I can make you leave." Naruto's eyes were closed, his breathing slow and regular, holding onto the singular moment when he'd found the balance while they fought.

A memory tickled him as he waited. "Scar, again please." _Something about being in balance...a weird place..._ "A little deeper this time." Quickly he pushed back the emerging memory, knowing he'd only have moments to enact his crazy plan.

_***&*&*&*_POV MUSTANG_*&*&*&***_

He'd never been so pissed with Edward Elric as he was right at that moment. He had told the teen that he'd let him in here so the boy could observe and maybe see something he and Scar missed. He hadn't meant for the little brat to try and take over this interrogation.

His temper spiked up another notch when he heard the pounding on the door. He could hear May's muffled voice raised in distress, but he had no clue what she was saying. There was no way in hell he was opening that door, though.

_I know what I'm doing, dammit!_He glared at the captive's still form as Scar approached warily. Even when the Ishballan reached the prone form, it didn't even open its eyes. Scar looked at him, and he shrugged._If he's passed out, this'll wake him up again._

Just as Scar's hand reached out, the blond's eyes opened. Scar froze, arm still outstretched as the orange eyes looked at them with a determined smugness._Orange eyes now? Crap!_"Scar get out of there! NOW!"_Those eyes...something's off with them..._

Just as the man backed away, the blond swung his leg out, just missing the scarred head, and up, towards the chain. Mustang couldn't believe his eyes as the chain seemed to snap apart before the foot even connected with it. Completing the flip, the whiskered youth landed lightly on his feet.

Several things happened at once. Blue lighting raced across the door, and May and Alphonse rushed in, shouting at them to stop. The now orange-eyed blond spat a thick glob of something at Mustang as Roy snapped his fingers. Ed grabbed the back of Scar's shirt and bodily yanked the surprised man out of the way as flame alchemy met the weird loogie. The moment the two collided, a fireball bloomed into life, pushing them all backwards in a wave of heat and sound.

_What the hell was that?_Roy coughed to himself as his vision and hearing slowly returned. He had perfect control over his alchemy; there was no way he'd lost control to the point of creating an explosion. Quickly, he looked to make sure the others were alright. When he saw that they were dazed, but generally unharmed, he turned his attention back to his dangerous captive while Scar went to the door, whispering fiercely to the armed officers who'd come running at the sound of the explosion. He wasn't expecting what he saw. The orange eyes were gone, once more replaced with blue eyes that glared at some unknown point in the distance.

"What the hell? You_SONofaBITCH!_You used_ME_as currency? What the fuck, you stupid four-legged monstrous furball! This is all your fault!" The blond ranted, snapping his manacles with ease_.__He could have done that at any time! No wonder we could barely contain him!_"Don't you give me that shit,_I'm_not the one who ran smack into a building. A building!" He waved his arms, still ignoring them completely, "I don't care that it's a lot smaller for you, Mr. I'm-so-awesomely-big, that would be like me running into...Tsunade's desk! Yeah? Well, Gamabunta's never run into a building for no APPARENT REASON, and he's the same size you are!"

Roy exchanged a very confused look with his friends as they climbed to their feet. Not only was the homunculus free, he was ranting to himself like some kind of lunatic and_treating them like they weren't there!_

Ed just shrugged as he went to check on May and Al, "Greed-Ling, maybe." Mustang stared at him dumbly for a second before it clicked. This creature was arguing with his other half! He warily watched as the self-proclaimed shinobi stomped about periodically shouting. He wondered briefly if he should attempt to once again restrain him, before deciding at this point, it would do more harm than good._After all, it caused a fireball a moment ago,_he mused, completely forgetting that he was equally as responsible for nearly incinerating everyone.

"You could have freaking TOLD ME what was going on, you know!" There was a momentary pause, "What do you mean, you were having fun_**!**__**HOW WAS ANY OF THIS FUN?**_I've told you before, you stupid fox, I won't give in to you. I know your tricks and I don't care how close I was then, you_tricked_me!" Chest heaving, he stood giving the wall a death-glare.

The former alchemist couldn't resist, "Are you quite done yet, stupid?" he heckled, as he helped his brother to his feet.

"YOU!" The blond rounded on him, pointing "Stop calling me that, right now!"

"Ok then, Fox-boy."

"I'm Naruto. I'm not a freaking fox." The finger jabbed the blond's navel, "_He's_ a fox, Kyuubi." His finger thumped himself in his chest "_I'm_ a human, dammit."

_Where have I heard that word before?_It was some time ago, he knew it, but for the life of him he couldn't place where or when he had heard that word.

Ed snorted, "Seriously? You want us to call you 'fishcake'?"

"That's it! Ling and his stupid noodle-bowls!"

"That's not what it means!" The whiskered youth snapped, "It means 'Maelstrom'! It's an awesome name!" He pouted, "Though, I could really go for some pork ramen right now."

"Whatever you say, 'fishcake.'"

He flushed a bit, cheeks puffing out like a petulant child. Then he spotted the Brigadier General. "What the hell is your problem, anyway? You could have killed us all with that little stunt."

"You spat explosives at us!"

Naruto just blinked at him. "That would be really cool," came a slightly dazed response before he shook his head, "but I just spat some toad oil at you. I was hoping you'd be smart enough to not light OIL on FIRE!" It was then he noticed the others in the room. Roy looked back to see May staring at the strange creature, a smear of blood on her forehead. Mustang frowned,_She must have hit the door frame._The blond returned her stare for a moment before sighing. Then he bowed to her. "I'm sorry." He straightened up, looking a shocked Mustang in the eyes, "I still think it was your fault, though."

"Why the hell are you apologizing to her then? And why don't I get an apology, you held me hostage!" Shouted Edward as he stomped up to the other blond.

"I wouldn't have had to if you had gotten out of my way. I'm not sorry about that. I_am_sorry that Kyuubi destroyed one of your buildings. The bijuu are like that, they destroy everything if you let them."

"Wha..."

Fullmetal cut him off, "If you're human, what the hell was with your eyes a moment ago? And how did you manage to cut that chain? The oil thing was kind of cool, though. Does the makeup come with the eye-thing?"

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><p><em><strong>A few quick notes, which I just totally forgot what I was going to say.<strong>_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**...**_

_**ah...**_

_**Here we go,notes, explanations as promised, a little self-defending of my ideas.**_

_**Did you know that the plural of sensei is sensei? You can use senseis, but that looks too much like Genesis to me... which makes me think of Nintendo, and Sonic...and then I get sidetracked again.**_

_**1**_

_**So, basically, a quick recap, since I'm sure there's going to be some confusion. Damage the seal, and it kind of sucks for the fox. Remember when he met his dad in front of the Kyuubi's cage? His stomach was pouring ink (or whatever) and that made me think "What would happen if you just...pealed off the seal?' and then I thought of what Orochi-teme and Ero-sennin did (BONZAI!). This is the result.**_

_**2**_

_**For those of you who caught on that Naruto was angrier and the fox's appearances were frequent, YAY you get a cookie. YES, the fox had been messing with Naruto the whole time. KyuubiIS the embodiment of rage and anger; basically, he really is Wrath, of you think about it. All the beasts kind of are . It's known that Bijuu affect the host and can influence them. This is covered repeatedly in the manga, and how Naruto's different, because he didn't give in. Kyuubi's upped the ante when they woke up in the Fox-form, and kept it up. (I know Killer-Bee has come to an agreement with the eight tails and Naruto does with Kyuubi, but that didn't happen until after the Pein battle.)**_

_**3**_

_**The memory flash (A memory tickled him as he waited, "Scar, again please." Something about being in balance...a weird place... "A little deeper this time." Quickly he pushed back the emerging memory, knowing he'd only have moments to enact his crazy plan. ) is Naruto starting to remember his little trip through the gate. That would be why he's flipping out at the fox after the fireball. When he goes Sage, he remembered, finally. I'm a 'mean and rotten person' and I'm not going to post that whole interaction in this chapter, or the next. Heck, it might end up being an Omake add on at the end because it gives stuff away, dammit. The memory did cause him to lose control over his nature chakra, which is why he's back to normal when he's ranting. Hey, I think I would want to rant and rave too if I found out a stupid giant fox had been tainting all my thoughts for the last few days, making everything a lot harder.**_

_**4**_

_**And for those of you who are like "Come on, he wouldn't forgive them and just start talking like that!" Firstly, he hasn't forgiven them, he's being ADD and riding the battle high. (He's also kinda figured out that they don't work with Pein. What can I say, he was slow.) Secondly, thisIS Naruto we're talking about. Sasuke killed him two times in the battle of the end, and he STILL wants to go 'Save his best friend' at this point in the Naru-verse. He seems to have a thing for friends who've tried to kill him. I'm not saying he's gonna give them the keys to his apartment and tell them to drop by anytime. There's still going to be some 'altercations' and general dick-ery on all sides. It's just going to be a lot less one sided now, and dialogue is going to be happening.**_

_**5**_

_**GoneFishing, YAY I finally got to use fishcake. That makes me so ridiculously happy, you wouldn't believe it. And hungry. I have yet to eat dinner and it's late.**_

_**6**_

_**I'm going to try and work on the next chapter and get it up this weekend. I promise. I'm working on making these longer, and less cliffie-ish, but believe it or not, if I stopped where I've written to it is worse. Sorry all, I think in cliffhangers. That way, I know I'll get started right away, because Iwanna know what's gonna freakin happen!**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Sorry for the wait. Remember how I was complaining about my crap-tastic luck? Well, the shit has hit the fan again. I feel like I'm flying a kite one handed during a hurricane. So. Because of life issues, I may not be able to update for a while, though I shall strive to work on the next chapter.**_

_**Now, I'm going to go find a rock to sulk under for the next week or so. Life, you have kicked my ass. I demand a do-over for the last two months. Or at the very least, monetary compensation to help with the sudden plethora of new bills.**_

_**Please enjoy this chapter. I admit it's not my best, though I am reasonably happy with where it is. No notes at the end this time. Stuff is going to slowly start to come to light, though you can expect plenty of misunderstandings. Thanks again to everyone who's added this to their faves, alerts, c2s, and reviewed. "Thanks, And Thanks again!"**_

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><p><em><strong>*&amp;*&amp;*_POV NARUTO_*&amp;*&amp;*<strong>_

Naruto stared at the golden eyes that were way too close for comfort. There seemed to be no malice in them, just honest curiosity. It was a bit unnerving, really.

From beyond the blond, Mustang growled, "Edward, don't you think we have more important questions to ask?"

"Go stuff it, Brigadier General, I'll get to them eventually," he replied, suddenly crouching down so his eyes were at naval level. He rubbed his chin with his hand. "Why didn't the mark appear this time, I wonder." He looked up at a now very nervous Naruto, "Hey, you, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to answer me? ARAHG, Never mind..." He shot up and started circling the now sweating blond._This is about as creepy as the time Sai followed me into the bathroom._"Hey, Alphonse! Come here a second, I want you to take a look at this!"

"Sure, Brother!" The dirty-blond with gray eyes said, trotting up.

Edward jabbed a finger in Naruto's face, pressing against his whisker marks, "What do you make of this, Al?"_Correction, WAY creepier..._he tried to pull back. "Will you stop squirming? Geesh, it's not like I'm hurting you, you know." A pensive look crossed Al's face as he too reached out and felt the whiskers, "See, they're not like regular scar tissue, the texture's too soft..."

Finally Naruto couldn't take it any more, and he leapt away. "What is with you guys? Personal space!" He glared at them suspiciously for a moment, "Do the names Sai and Kakashi mean anything to you?" He got blank stares. "Never mind," he sighed.

"Ah, so you do speak." The gray eyed teen smiled at him, "Hello, Naruto, was it? I'm Al, Alphonse Elric. This is my older brother, Edward. Sorry, Ed tends to get carried away sometimes." Naruto glared at him, "Ok, so we both do a bit." His eyes lit up, "Can you tell me how you were able to do that?"

"Do what? Jump back?"

"No, not that. The thing you did with Alkahestry earlier."

"Wha...?" Naruto squinted at him, cocking his head to the side. What the heck is Alkahestry... Wait a second... "Are you talking about my Sage Mode?"

"Sage mode?"

"Yeah, you know," Naruto pointed to his eyes, "when my eyes were orange and a little froggy?"

The two brothers exchanged a look before the elder nodded and turned back to Naruto. "Is that what you call it, then? 'Sage Mode?' Ok then, I've got just one question for you," Edward grinned, "How did you do it, why did your eyes change, can you hold it long, is that how your eyes turn red, can all homunculi do that, what exactly does it do?"

"...That's way more than one question," Al muttered.

Naruto for his part puffed out his chest with an air of self importance, seeming to completely ignore those in the room who didn't see his greatness. "The great Uzumaki-sama will answer your questions." He grinned, "After you give me back my necklace and hitai-ate." He looked down, "And my pants."

"Wow, is that all you'll be requiring, your highness?" Mustang snarkily asked.

"My shirt and jacket would be nice too, now that you mention it, Ash-face." Grinned the blue eyed blond.

_***&*&*_TIME SKIP_*&*&***_

"Hey, what happened to the books I had with me?" Naruto asked as he finished zipping up his jacket. Though, in reality, there really wasn't much of a jacket left._At least they cleaned it before giving it back..._

"We fulfilled our end of the bargain," Mustang spat as he sat at the newly formed table, "You never asked for those books."

"Well, I'm asking for them now."

"Too bad."

Naruto fidgeted, "Just, don't damage them, ok? They're very important." With a sigh, he slumped in the chair, giving Mustang the stink eye before turning his baleful glare at Ed. The two of them were the only ones in the room, for some reason. Really, he could have done without the raven haired ass, but the blond really didn't seem too bad. For a short runt that had kicked him across a hall, that is. With his eyes still locked on Ed's he sighed again, "So, you've got some questions for me?"

The other blond smirked, "I might have a few. Feel up to answering them?"

"Maybe. Depends what they are."

"Let's start off with an easy one, then, Fishcake." Naruto growled a bit under his breath. "Where are you from?"

"A galaxy far, far away."

Mustang snarled, "Try that again."

_What the hell does he want me to say? I'll be damned if I tell him about my village._ He rolled his eyes, "Pass."

He watched in amusement as Ed put a hand on the other's shoulder, holding him back. "Ok, then. How old are you?"

"I don't see what that's got to do with any of this. Sixteen."

"How did you get here?" Mustang asked. Naruto ignored him completely, until Ed repeated the question.

"Pass."

"Where did you learn your 'shinobi' skills?" Again, Naruto ignored Mustang. "Hey, you! Why are you ignoring my questions, you brat?"

Ed sighed, rubbing his head as Naruto crossed his arms and glared at the two of them. "Same question the Brigadier General just asked."

"Because I don't like you. I told you I wasn't telling YOU anything." He nodded towards Edward, "You, I don't hate. Yet. So I'll talk to you a bit." Naruto grinned, "As for the other question, I learned to be a shinobi at the academy, of course!"

"How many chimera are involved?"

"What the heck is a chimera?"

"Your friend," Now Edward looked at the notes in front of him, "Shima, she's one, correct?"

"Shima's a toad." He cocked his head to the side, "You know, toad? Not quite as slimy as a frog, but colorful? I know I told you this before."

"So she's a toad chimera?"

"No." Naruto rolled his eyes, "She's a toad."

"How long ago did you become a homunculus?"

"That's a stupid question. I'm not one. I told you that before."

"Then what are you? A chimera?"

"Again, I have no clue what that is...Pass."

"Oh come ON! We know you're not normal! You were talking about something being inside you earlier, weren't you? Explain yourself!"

_**Yes, go ahead and tell them about me.**_"You, shut up," Naruto growled before slamming his hands on the table, making the two in the room with him jump just a bit. "I can't tell you that, ok? We don't talk about it."

"Why not?"

Here he had to shrug, "It's safer, I guess."

"Well, can you tell me who made you like this then?"

"Pass."

Roy grinned, "We know that already, Ed. Don't tease the idiot. It was obviously Father, right?" The whiskered youth flinched. "See? I know I'm right about this."

"Yeah? So what? My father was a hero, you know."

Mustang slammed his fist into the table and stood glowering at the startled blue eyed blond. "A hero? Really? Your 'hero' was trying to destroy this country, kill everyone, for his own power. He wanted to be god. What kind of hero is that?" He spat, "But I forgot, you never met Father, did you?"

_What is he talking about, my father never did anything like that...I mean, yeah, he was Hokage, and I'm sure he got into a lot of battles with other villages, but I know he wasn't the kind of man to do something like that! That's something Pein, or maybe Orochimaru would do. That freaky grinning guy really did send me somewhere, didn't he?_

Silence reigned for a moment as the general struggled to calm himself. Naruto continued to be silent until the man sat, sending a withering glare his way. "Can you..." began Edward.

"I met him once, recently." Naruto interrupted, "Though he's gone, he's still with me." He ignored both of them, "My father, he gave his life for his people, he's a real hero, you know? He did make me what I am," He placed a hand over his stomach, "but, I understand why. Even though it's been hard, I get it." He held up a hand to silence the protests, "He gave his life for me, and his village. He's really a hero."

"He lost his life trying to contain God!" Mustang growled out, "He did it for himself. We were there, two years ago when he put his plans in motion in Central. Fullmetal here dealt him the final blow." He turned his head away in disgust, "He was a monster. Just like you."

Naruto grinned, "You're wrong."

"Oh? How so?" Now it was Ed's turn to be annoyed, golden eyes staring intently at the smirking blond, "Are you saying I didn't finish him?"

Naruto gave a half hearted shrug, still grinning. "I don't know, honestly. All I know is my father died the night I became like this." The grin faded, "And trust me, that was a lot longer than two years ago."

"How much longer?" Came the tense response.

"Sixteen years."

_***&*&*_POV MUSTANG_*&*&***_

"S-sixteen years? You've got to be joking!" Sputtered his former subordinate.

"How is that even possible? You've got to be mistaken."

The annoying creature in front of him just cocked his head to the side, "Maybe we're talking about different people?"

"Forget that, Roy! Do you have any idea what this means?" Fullmetal tugged on his arm, hissing in his ear.

"Yeah, there's apparently another 'Father' out there, or this guy's pulling our leg." _Like I'm dumb enough to fall for that._ "Don't let him get you so worked up, kid."

Ed just grabbed his arm and started to drag him to the normally locked door. It had been a sign of good will, or some such bull. In truth the rest of the group was ready to burst into the room at the first sign of danger. "We'll be right back, just... stay there ok?" He sounded upset, "You got that, Naruto? Don't. Move."

Roy cast a look back to see surprised blue eyes following them. "Bring back food?" he asked, obviously confused, though possibly not as confused as Roy.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just stay there for a minute, ok?" Ed didn't even wait for a response before he practically tossed Roy through the door before he himself rushed out of the room. Immediately they were surrounded by concerned friends.

"What's wrong?"

"Is everything all right?"

"Is he talking?"

"Did you find out how he...?"

"Is there anything...?"

Roy just shook his head at them all, looking at Ed, "Care to explain what that was all about, runt?" He was surprised when the bond ignored the jab.

"Ling, are you_sure_, and I mean totally, one hundred and twenty percent_sure_he's human-based?"

Ling just blinked, "Well, yeah." He looked at the Xing princess next to him, "May?"

The girl nodded, "I feel it as well, he's definitely human, but at the same time, he's not. He's not a chimera, though. Much like the others, Wrath and Greed."

"Dammit!"

"Ed, calm down, will you?"

"How could he say that he was a hero? How could anyone say that?"

"He was just messing with you. We know he's full of it, Father was a monster. You killed Father, he didn't die sixt..."

"Shut up, Roy!" Ed turned his golden glare at Mustang, "You've got no clue, do you? Were you even listening to a word he said?"

"Brother...?"

Mustang stood tall, once more pissed off at the teen he'd long since come to admire, "Excuse me?" His eyes had a dangerous glint, "Care to explain what part of that creature's shit I apparently missed?"

The other snapped back, "Fine, if I have to spell it out for you. Who made him into this...thing?"

"He never outright said it."

"Who?"

Roy rolled his eyes, "His father. Why are we going over what we already know?"

"How long ago did he say his father died?"

"Sixteen years ago. But we both know that's total..."

The look in Ed's eyes silenced him, "Last question, Brigadier General, how old is he?"

"Come on, that's the only thing he's told us today that I'd even remotely believe. He's Six...teen." He blinked as the information hit him, "Crap."

"You're kidding, right? Brother?"

"No, Al, that's what he said. I don't think he was lying, about either part of that. I really don't think Father created him at all; it makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Father wouldn't have had the patience for a homunculus that was a baby."

"How could anyone...?"

"That's what he meant." Ling interrupted, turning to Lan Fan, "Remember, when I offered to help him turn back? He said he was always like this." He shook his head, "I can hardly believe it, though."


	15. Chapter 15

_**This chapter gets a warning attached. There're a few lines that deserve a light "M" or stronger "T" warning, and trust me, you'll see them coming. It ain't for violence.**_

_**Thank you to my reviewers that wished me a better time of it. And, of course, my regulars. I seriously love you all. Life still sucks, but thanks to you guys, I have had this chapter running in my head (completed) since Tuesday. So here it is, after a FULL day of writing. (And watching Yuu Yuu Hakusho)**_

_**Cookies for all reviewers , favers, alerters, and basically everyone else.**_

_**Thanks, and thanks again.**_

_**And I'm going to keep using that until someone goes "Good God! Will you stop quoting...(blank)!"**_

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><p><em><strong>*&amp;*&amp;*_POV Roy_*&amp;*&amp;*<strong>_

"Well, believe it."

"How could anyone do that to a babe?" Armstrong truly looked disgusted. "It takes a true monster to do such a thing. Roy, we must help the boy!"

"Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"The lad has known no other life, my friend. He's been misguided, led astray from the path of righteousness. And yet, despite this, he has not truly given in to the beast within as some would have. No offence, Ling."

"None taken."

He could feel his eye twitch, "Need I remind you that he's attacked us?"

"Actually, sir," Hawkeye put in, "besides crashing into the building, he hasn't done anything to threaten our lives." She smirked, "Fireball not withstanding."

"Well then, fine, what about the_thing_inside him then? THAT is an obvious threat."

"You won't get any argument from us there, Roy." Ed shrugged, "But you haven't gotten anywhere treating Naruto himself as a threat. All you've done is piss him off, and I gotta say, I can't really blame him for being pissed off at all of us. We need to figure out where he's from and why he's here." The teen rubbed his hands together. "Now, he said something about an academy, right? Lan Fan, you know anything about it?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, well, this 'shinobi' fighting style is kinda similar to what you do, right? Any chance he's from a disgruntled clan in Xing?"_Why didn't I think of that?_

Lan Fan shook her head, "Unfortunately, it's very unlikely. Our training is handed down in families, all carefully controlled by the current emperor." She held up an orange book, showing them the cover. Roy couldn't make head or tail of what it said on the cover, but the circle with the slash symbol was almost a universal one. "Looking in this book, I'm sorry to say I couldn't understand any of it. I had May help, since she has more experience with ancient Xing languages, but we had no luck. There are some similarities, but I'm at a loss at what it says."

"Alphonse and I had similar problems," Scar put in, holding up the other book. The green cover had seen better days, the only similarity between it and the orange one being identical writing on the bottom. "I noted some similarities between older Ishballan religious texts, but I think it's just a coincidence."

Roy frowned, "So we're back to square one with the books then? Damn, I was hoping those books contained his mission."_I've got to do better. If I keep letting this 'Naruto' get to me, we'll learn nothing. The kid is still suspicious, but as much as I hate to admit it, they could be right. He could just be a pawn, a distraction, for something larger._He looked at Edward with new respect; after all, he was getting results.True, they had no clue what the results meant yet, but it was still better than Mustang had been able to do._He's not letting his anger get the better of him..._"All right, Fullmetal, this is your show for now. What's the plan?"

For an answer, the blond just scratched his head. "I'm just playing this as I go, Mustang. I was really hoping one of you would be able to read this chicken-scratch. I had no luck with it either, you know. Well, for now, I say Roy and I go back in there and see what else we can learn. Al, you might wanna make a speaker or something so you guys can listen in and see if we miss anything." He snagged the two books as he headed to the door.

"You aren't seriously going to just give him those back, are you?" Roy had to shake his head;_I still say that they could contain orders, or plots to attack our country. No way I'm letting the pipsqueak give them back._

"Nah, I'm just gonna ask him what they say." The blond shrugged, "Who knows? He might just tell us the truth."

"I see. Ling, got any food on you?"

"Humm? Yeah..." The prince pulled a few meal bars out of his pocket, "Are you hungry or some...HEY! Those are mine!" Roy deftly snagged all of the bars before following Ed into the room.

What he saw brought him up short. The whiskered boy had not moved from his chair, though now he sat precariously balanced on the back of it. That wasn't what got him to stop and blink in surprise. "Where did you get that?" He asked, calmly walking up to the table and dropping the meal bars in front of the teen, who didn't even bother to look up from his task of repairing the orange jacket resting on his knees

"Had them stitched into the lining of my jacket," came the absent-minded response. Deftly, he closed one of the larger rips in the orange top with neat stitches. "Growing up, I couldn't always get new clothes. The villagers, well, some of them didn't like me very much." He chuckled sardonically, "Actually, most of them didn't like me. So the old man would get me clothes that were big on me, and I did my own repairs to them when I needed to instead of going shopping." He grinned widely, "And then I went on a trip with my master. I practically re-made this outfit once a month." He tied off the string and slipped the needle along the zipper, hiding it away once more. "YAY! Food!" He slipped back down into the seat while pulling on the jacket before grabbing a meal bar.

Mustang blinked at the honest answer; he hadn't been expecting it. "Why orange?" he couldn't help but ask, "You claim to be a warrior of shadows, yet you choose to wear such a color."

Naruto just grinned, looking more like a fox than Roy was comfortable with. "Because it's my favorite color." He laughed, "Besides, have you ever tried to hide in bright orange? It's really, really hard. If I can hide in that, I can hide in almost anything." He tapped an uneaten meal bar to his chin, "Or I could say, when people do see me, they only remember the orange, not the person. So we'll just say it makes me more shinobi-like, while being great fashion."

"Great fashion my ass." Ed snorted, "Now, red, there's a fashionable color." He casually dropped the books on the table.

"Oh, hey! My books!"

"Don't get too excited now. It's not like I'm giving them back or anything. I'm just showing you that they're safe. We're going to need to borrow these a bit longer though to study them," Ed said, resting his chin in his hand.

Blue eyes met golden ones, before they turned to look at Roy. An incredulous look frozen on his face, the boy pointed a finger at the two of them. "Perverts!"

Ed actually smacked his head on the table with his chin in surprise, "W-what?"

"You heard me, you're both perverts! I bet that scar-faced man and squinty-eyes are too! Well, get your own copy!" He went to snatch the green book, "And give this one back! It's nothing like that, and you'll taint it with your stupid pervy-ness." Roy quickly grabbed the green book before Naruto could, earning a glare, "Why am I surrounded by perverts all the time?"

"How dare you call us perverts, you little shit!"

"Why the hell wouldn't I? Everyone who reads those books are perverts!"

Ed held up the orange book, "What makes you say that?"

He earned a 'duh' stare, "Well, that's generally what you call someone who reads porno-stories."

Roy exchanged a look with the older Elric brother, before looking at the book in question. "This is a pornograhic book?"

"Well, yeah. It's the last _'Come Come Paradise'_ book ever written. You don't get more pervy then that."

_Apparently he's forgotten that he's not going to answer me_. "And this one?" He held up the green book, "Is it an...illicit book as well?"

"No! That's the author's first book, autographed. So, please be very careful with it!"

"But they're by the same author?"

"Yes. Can't you read, you morons? He didn't use a different pen name or anything."

"I've got one more question for you then." Roy smirked, "What are you, a minor, doing in possession of a porno?"

The teen looked nervous, "Well, er... Master kept giving them to me. I couldn't exactly give them back."

"I knew it! You're lying! What are these really? Mission orders? A plot to take over the country?"

"What are you talking about? I told you what they were! It's not like you can't read them!" The blond blinked, cocking his head to the side, he crossed his arms, "Or can you? You can't, right?" He looked down, muttering, "Stupid grinning_creepy idiot_sending me to this place. Can't believe my luck. GAH! How am I supposed to order ramen if I can't read a menu?" He looked at them and noticed that they didn't believe him. "What, don't believe me?" He snatched the book from Ed's hand and opened it up to a random page. "Shinoko looked deep into his eyes, 'Oh, Renji, we shouldn't! What would our clans say?' Renji ran a sensual finger along her bottom lip, as his hand gently stroked her center, 'My darling, don't. We will face that when it comes. For now, just let me love you.' With a sigh, she leaned in for a deep kiss, feeling his..."

Roy blushed, "ENOUGH! I believe you!"

"Oh come on, I was just getting to the best part!" The boy grinned, "Want me to read the other one instead? That one's_'The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi'_, and it's about a shinobi who saves his village by sticking to his morals, and standing up for what's good and just. It came out right after a war, though, so it wasn't very popular."

"And they're by the same author?" Edward asked, "Why would your master give you pornos? He sounds like the real pervert."

"Well, yeah, he was the biggest perv ever!" The other blond laughed, "You know what, first time I met him, he was peeking in the women's bath! 'Research,' he said. He was always doing stuff like that." A soft look crossed his face, "But he was really something, strong, wise, well sometimes at least. He was a great teacher."

"You miss him."

Naruto nodded, "I even miss going over the manuscripts for his books."

_Wait...his Master wrote these?_He looked at Edward and raised an eyebrow,_are we sure that they aren't mission orders?_"Your teacher wrote these?" He received a nod, "And you helped with the manuscripts at sixteen?"

"Well, actually, I started helping when I was thirteen, but yeah."

"Thirteen?"_Armstrong's right, this kid is seriously messed up. When he says 'master', does he mean master as in teacher, or master as in master I wonder?_

"Ok then, changing the topic." Ed interrupted, "Did he teach you that thing, 'Sage mode' I think you called it?"

"That? Oh, no, I learned that from the toad elder see, it's about getting in touch with nature chakra, without letting it overwhelm you. If you master that, you can do all sorts of amazing things. I spent a lot of time meditating under waterfalls and stuff, but I finally got it."

"A toad taught you how to do that?"

"Yep. He taught me some other stuff, too." He grinned, "Toads are really cool."

"Can you give us another demonstration of this Sage mode?"

"Mmmm," Naruto looked away, "I can, but wouldn't you rather I do it where your other friends can watch? I mean, right now, all they can do is hear us, and maybe sense my chakra, right?"

Mustang looked away, chagrined, "You knew they were listening?"

"I saw that weird blue glow before, but nothing happened, so I figured it was to spy on what was going on in here."

"Well, if it's all right with you, yeah, I'd really like them to watch. But first we've got to set up a secure location. Can't have you making another break for it." Ed grinned, "How about tomorrow morning?"

"Tch. Works for me. And I won't run tomorrow. I give you my word." Blue eyes bored into Roy's, "Unless you try to light me on fire, shoot me for no reason, or melt away parts of my body again, that is."

"Mustang?"

"Fine. I'll give you my word that if you don't try to run away, we won't try and hurt you." He growled, "I just want to get to the bottom of this as quickly as possible." The blond grinned and put out a hand. Roy blinked at it for a second before realizing what the teen wanted. Grudgingly he clasped hands. "Deal."

"Deal!"

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><p><em><strong>So the FMA group is finally getting somewhere! Of course, this is Naruto, so naturally he ends up confusing them, making more questions. Next chap, we will be seeing the sky again! Oh, and Sage mode, of course. Roy's going to try really, really hard not to keep attacking Naruto, but he is an unknown factor, so it's not going to be easy. I don't really have anything else to say. Next chapter is currently being planned in my head.<strong>_


	16. Chapter 16

_**New chapter! Once again, thanks to all those who've read, added to faves, alerts or watch-lists. Thanks to the reviewers, too.**_

_**"Thanks, and thanks again!"**_

_**A lot of you guys guessed some of what was coming, so I'm not saying anything, other than on with the chapter!**_

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><p><em><strong>*&amp;*&amp;*_POV Naruto_*&amp;*&amp;*<strong>_

Morning, naturally, came both too quickly, and not quickly enough. He'd spent the night plotting what amazingly awesome techniques he wanted to wow them with. Then he went over what he could actually get away with showing them. He was feeling much more like his old self, but if he was honest, it was going to take a few more days of good-ish food and rest before he could pull out a hundred-thousand clones.

"Err on the side of caution, as Yamato-taicho would say," the blond muttered, waiting for his captors to show up. "Don't wanna scare them so badly we end up back at the 'tie Naruto up and beat the crap out of him.' I'm really sick of that. Ibiki's nuts! How could anyone enjoy shit like that? Man, I can totally see how he gets people to spill their guts, though. Next time I see him, I've gotta tell him thanks." His expression turned dark, "Assuming Nagato actually kept his word and brought everyone back, that is." He was so distracted he didn't hear the door open behind him.

"Brought who back?"

Looking over his shoulder, he saw his two 'favorite' people: the blond, Ed, and the Sasuke-in-ten-years, Mustang. "Oh, you know," he grinned, "All the dead people."_Now what are you going to make of THAT bit of information._

"Dead people?"

"Yep." He grinned, "Lots of dead people." It didn't take his awesome skills of observation to see both men flinch.

"What are you going to do with a bunch of dead people?"

"Are we going to go outside so I can show you how amazing I am, or are we staying in here?"

Both of them looked at him, suspicious. "Well, let's get going." Mustang sighed, gesturing to the door._He's actually making the attempt to be...well, not nice, but less of a dick. I'm amazed. I kinda expected him to at least shout at me or something._

Without a word he followed them out the door and waited as they were flanked by Armstrong, Scar, and Hawkeye. "Guess the others are meeting us there?" No one answered him. The woman, Hawkeye, raked him with a scathing glare, however. "Geez, what's your problem, lady?"

"Forgive my lieutenant. She's got some strong opinions on your, ah, reading material."

"Hey, I never said you had to_read_it, you know!" He'd spent some time the night before showing the two some basic characters of his language at their insistence. Naruto was still more than a little convinced that they were just totally messing with him. After all, he couldn't have been sent that far from home.

"You, young man, should be ashamed of yourself. What would your parents say?"

He looked at the large, intimidating Armstrong and shrugged, "Hey, how the hell am I supposed to know that? I'm an orphan, you know. I never knew them. But, Sensei likes the books, and he was taught by my father...you know what? I really need to have a chat with him about that. He could have_told_me that...and Master taught my old man, so I guess he wouldn't have a problem with it." His statement was greeted with silence as they continued down the hall. It wasn't long before they emerged outside.

Naruto wasted no time in breaking away from the group, leaping and shouting, "Yahoo! The sun! The dirt! I missed you, grass!" He ended his juvenile display by throwing himself on the ground, grinning at the sky. He deliberately ignored the glares; it wasn't like he didn't have practice at that. He was glad that his antics hadn't gotten him shot, skewered, or burned. As he lay there, he considered the courtyard he had found himself in. It was big enough for him to show off in, and if they thought the high walls would stop him, they were sorely mistaken. There was a rather attractively bubbling fountain and benches on the far side; Naruto assumed there was another door over that way.

For a while, at least, they seemed content to let him lay there as they discussed plans. He was just considering napping when he felt two people approach. Cracking an eye open, he found his view blocked by two blonds. "Um, excuse me, but could you show us that ability, please?" Al seemed almost apologetic about the interruption, though the look Ed was giving him was anything but.

Naruto answered with one of his trade-mark foxy-grins, "Sure, I'll show you that and more! As soon as you answer just one little question, that is." lightening fast, his arm shot out and snatched Ed's left leg, yanking it up with him as he stood.

"HEY!" Ed's arms whirled thought the air as he attempted to keep his balance. "What the hell?"

Yanking up the pant leg the blue eyed blond snorted, "Consider it payback." He revealed a metal plate where Ed's shin should be. With a little frown he tapped the metal.

"What the hell are you doing? Put my leg down right now!"

"It's metal? It's not just some weird shin guard?" He continued to tap up the leg, ignoring Ed as he latched onto his shoulders and started yelling. It was a little harder to ignore the punch to his head when his tapping hit flesh.

"Would you at least be careful? If you break it, Winry's gonna kill the both of us."

"Are you some kind of puppet master?" Naruto looked over to the ANBU, "What about her? Her arm's the same, right? I don't feel chakra flowing, and I didn't notice in sage mode, so how are you_moving_these?"

Ed just blinked at him after he pulled his leg out of Naruto's now flaccid grip, "Haven't you ever seen automail before?" Naruto shook his head, looking very confused. "It's an artificial limb, connected to my nerves. That's how it moves."

"Nerves? Seriously? Man, your medic-nins have some amazing skills then! Baa-chan could probably do something like this, maybe Sakura, but that's some seriously advanced stuff. Was it done deliberately? How long was the recovery time? The weight's different; I don't think I could copy it well." He nodded to himself, "Be pretty easy to tell if some henged into you, then."

"Woah, back up there. Medic-nins?"

Alphonse interrupted his brother, "What do you mean by 'henged'? Is that one of your techniques?"

_Who should I pick..._"Well, yeah." He brought his fingers together and there was a_**PUFFT!**_of smoke. When it cleared, Scar was standing where Naruto had been. Al almost tripped over his feet backing up, eyeing the Ishballan in shock.

He wasn't the only one who was shocked. "That's me!"

"Ok, Ed, how did he do that if he's not a homunculus?"

"Oh, this is pretty basic." 'Scar' said as he allowed the young blond to examine his arms for a better look at the tattoos as the others came closer.

"Perfect duplication."

There was another_**PUFFT!**_and now the masked ANBU was standing there. With a grin, Ed snatched the arm that should have been automail.

"Looks like automail," he tapped it, "But the feel's all wrong. It's not bad though. Probably good enough to fool a visual inspection." With a grin, he yanked off the mask, revealing an equally grinning Naruto. He turned to the ANBU who pulled off her mask, revealing black hair and dark eyes that watched him warily, "So you can't copy what you can't see." He pressed the mask into Naruto's chest…

_**PUFFT!**_

Only to find his hand was now cupping a naked breast of a long-haired blond who moaned. "YEESH!" He leapt back.

"_Oooo Ed-san~! We can't, what would our clans think_?" The woman gave a sultry pout, playing with one of her pigtails. "You know, if you had wanted to see me naked before, you just had to..." Hawkeye's gun was suddenly right in the blond's face, "…ask. Too far?"

Her eye twitched, "Very." Apparently she and the other two women there were as unaffected by this skill as the kunoichi back home. They also seemed to take the same attitude about the men's slack-jawed dazed look.

Naruto sighed._**PUFFT!**_Back to normal he continued to grin, "Sexy no Jutsu. Been a while since I used that one last." He explained as she put the gun away, "And that's how a thirteen year old boy helps his master write porno books." They looked at him in disgust. "Wait. No. That came out wrong. We didn't_Do anything_together! That's just nasty. Seriously, all I did was sneak into bathhouses sometimes, or jump up and down for him. Besides, you have to concentrate to stay in henge so...you know what, I'm going to shut up now." He blushed, "Yep. Shutting up."

"Your master was a_very_sick man," Armstrong calmly stated.

"You're not going to get any arguments from me there," came the muttered response as Naruto tried to calm himself down._Now or never._He calmed his breathing, reaching for that equilibrium with nature to achieve sage mode. He noticed that the ANBU, Ling, Al, and the shorter girl all started to watch him intently._So they can feel it, _he mused as he calmly closed his eyes. "Hey, um, Armstrong was it? Could you make a pillar or something for me?" He waved a hand lazily, "over that way?"

In moments, the pillar he had requested was created._What an interesting way to use chakra,_he mused, feeling the technique as it formed a rather unique shape. With a sigh, he put his plan into motion, opening his now orange eyes. "Uzumaki Naruto: Sage Mode!" He posed, rather cornily.

"How interesting, you use alkahestry to alter your physical appearance and abilities."

"Are you constantly channeling energy like this?"

"How can you do this without a circle?"

"Guys, GUYS!" Naruto interrupted, "I can't hold this form long right now, so if you could please shut up I'll show you, just like I promised, ok?" Grudgingly they nodded and backed off, giving him room. "Thank you." He smirked before vanishing from right in the middle of them. He quickly reappeared behind Mustang and couldn't resist tapping him, easily getting out of reach once more.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you a demonstration, of course." The blond lazily waved a hand at them as he calmly walked to the pillar. For a moment, he admired the sheer gaudiness of it as he walked around it. With a smirk, as soon as he ducked out of sight of the group he created a clone. Quickly the two of them then formed a rasengan before the original Naruto finished his walk around the pillar, leaving the copy in place.

"What's that?"

"This?" The teen raised his hand, glowing sphere drawing lots of attention, "Oh, this is just a rasengan. Nothing fancy." He turned back to the pillar, "But very, very destructive." With that, he leapt into the air and slammed the rasengan into the top of the pillar, sending small gravel everywhere as Naruto dropped the sage mode. Quickly the courtyard was filled with a dusty cloud.

He took the opportunity provided to rush towards the fountain. He didn't look back as his clone raced for the other side of the courtyard, attracting attention in Sage mode.

"He's getting away!"

He could feel the multiple chakra-like attacks zeroing on his clone, only to go slamming into a large rock that had been substituted in.

"What the hell?"

"There he is!" He flinched, before he realized they were talking about the clone again. Finally, he found himself at the fountain and dove behind it, making sure he was completely out of sight.

"Hawkeye!"

_**PUFFT!**_As the clone memories rushed into him, Naruto could competently say that getting shot in the head seriously sucked. Ignoring the continued shouts of surprise, with grim determination he chomped down on his thumb, slamming his hand into the ground.

"Ooo, hello, Naruto-nii-san! Where have you been? Aniki has been looking everywhere for you."

"G-Ga-Gamatatsu! Why are you here?" Naruto hissed,_Dammit! I wanted Gamakichi! Gah, this is so unfair._"Never mind that now,_DUCK_!"

"Oh? Ok, Naruto. Are we playing a game with those people over there?"

The blond sighed exasperatedly and yanked Gamatatsu down, "I SAID DUCK!"

"Hai. Hey, Naruto? I'm hungry."

"I'll get you lots of snacks later, alright? But first I need you to deliver a message to..."

"AIHEEEE!" A piercing scream came from right behind Naruto.

"Ah fuck."

He turned around to see another blond, this one an attractive young woman, just as she dropped the heavy bag she was carrying. "Fr, giant frog!" The door she had just exited quietly swung shut behind her as everyone turned and looked in their direction.

"Huh? Where?"

"Oh God, it talks!" She shuddered, "Alphonse, EDWARD! GET OVER HERE NOW!"

"Who, me?" Gamatatsu blinked at the woman before turning to Naruto, "But, I'm not a frog, I'm a toad." Naruto face-palmed.

"Winry! Look out!"

"Of course this would happen," the now exasperated teen muttered as he stood, watching everyone he had successfully managed to evade come running. Gamatatsu stood up as well.

"Where the hell did THAT come from?"

"That's not very nice..."

"Let me handle this, ok?" he sighed as the others approached, turning his back on the young woman who was now white as a sheet sitting haphazardly on the ground.

"Ok, Naruto-nii-san." The group slowed down, all of them looking ready to rip the two of them apart. Sighing again, Naruto raised his hands placatingly. Just as he was about to speak, Gamatatsu waved, "H-hello everyone. I'm Gamatatsu. Are you friends of Naruto-nii-san?"

Quick as a thought Hawkeye had her gun up and snapped off a shot. "Gamatatsu!" Naruto yelped as he took the bullet for his friend. "I thought I told you to let me handle this, ok?"

"AH! Naruto! You're hurt." The usually placid toad glared at the woman, "You hurt my friend! Why would you do that? Are you with Ak..."

"Hey, it's ok. Look, see, I'm fine."

"That is a really BIG chimera."

"What's a chimera?"

"Ignore them." He glared at Mustang, before turning his attention back to his friend, "I've got a job for you, ok?"

"Really? YAY, a real job! I'll do my best, and eat lots of snacks!"

"Sure. But first, you need to do the mission."

"Naruto, if you don't stop right now..."

"Shove it up your ass. This is important!"

"T...Toad..."

"Winry!"

"Oh, the lady doesn't look so good, Naruto-nii-san."

"Gamatatsu, I need you to focus for a second." The blond sweat dropped.

"Ok."

"Are you listening?" The toad nodded vacantly, eyes following a fly. The shinobi sighed, "Good enough. Listen, I need you to go back and tell your brother to do a reverse summoning, ok?"

"Eh? But why can't you tell him?" The young toad looked down at him, whining slightly, "Everyone is looking for you. Katsuyu told everybody that you won. All the people that the six Pein people killed are alright now, but no one can find you and we've been looking for a long time...look, that cloud looks like a dango!"

"I can't tell him right now. He's not here, and I have no clue where I am. That's why I need_YOU_to tell him. You got it? Go tell your brother to summon me." He was acutely aware that everyone was staring at them intently.

"How can you not know where you are?"

"I just don't. We don't have time for this." He felt a headache coming on.

"But, how did you get here then? Did you walk? It seems like a long way to walk."

"Gamatatsu..."

"You could have let us know you were going on a trip."

"GAHHH!" He yanked at his hair,_I give up, he's not going anywhere until I explain this or feed him, is he?_He glared both at the toad and their audience, "FINE! I give up! Nagato did some jutsu-thing, and then when he and that paper chick left, I turned around and BAM! I was in some weird place with a freaky guy grinning at me!"

"Orochimaru?"

"NO! It wasn't Orochimaru!"

"Ko..."

"And it wasn't him either! I don't know who the heck it was! All I know is he said some really weird things to me and the fox, alright? Next thing I know, I'm here. NOW GO TELL GAMAKICHI TO GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

The toad blinked, looking ready to cry. "You don't have to be so mean about it, Naruto-nii-san." He sniffed before turning forlornly to the others. "Bye bye."

"Wait!" shouted Mustang a second too late as a cloud of smoke replaced where the toad had been. "What the hell was that?"

Naruto just grinned at him, glad his message would be delivered, _well, eventually, anyway,_ "A toad. What else?"

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><p><em><strong>Next chapter has been started. I almost put Gamakichi instead, because I like him more, but 'Tatsu worked better for this scene. And look, Winry! That's all for now. Naruto's still stuck until 'Tatsu remembers to deliver the message. YAY Naruto's brilliant plan almost paid off.<strong>_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Happy Thanksgiving, or if you don't celebrate that, Happy Nov 24th. New chapter was done last night. I'm not thrilled with this one, but I like it. The next chapter is well started, and very planned. Once again, "Thanks and Thanks again" to all my reviewers, favers, and alert-ers. Got one or two notes to follow at the end of this chapter.**_

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><p><em><strong>*&amp;*&amp;*_POV MUSTANG_*&amp;*&amp;*<strong>_

"Is... is it gone?"

Ed walked over to the obviously still frightened young woman. "Yeah, looks like it's gone, Winry." Mustang knew Ed would take care of her; after all, she was his girlfriend. He was just glad that she was safe.

_I hadn't been expecting him to just...vanish like that. If Winry hadn't come here when she did, we could all have been in some serious trouble._He glared at Naruto._Lots of trouble._"What do you mean, 'a toad'? What was that poor chimera before?"

"Before? Um. A tadpole, I think." The blond laughed, "But I didn't know him way back then."

"I'd hate to see the size of that tadpole," Ling muttered, coming back from escorting the non-combatants back into the building. "That thing's HUGE!"

"HEY! Don't call Gamatatsu a thing!" came the sharp retort, "And besides, he's not all that big. Yeah, when he was younger, he and his brother used to ride on my head. He's grown a lot, but he's got a long way to go till he reaches Gamabunta's size."

"Really?"

"What's a Gamabunta?"

"Forget that, what's a 'pain' person, and how can dead people be 'alright now'? You can't bring the dead back to life. Dead is dead."

"No, it's not. Ok, usually it is, and you really shouldn't bring people back, but I've seen it done." The teen protested, "Besides, Nagato didn't kill them, well, I guess he did kill them, but he kinda ate their souls or something, too. But, I got him to give them back. I think." Naruto cocked his head to the side, as they all just stared at him in shock. "Hmm, I know he explained it, too."

_We're just going to ignore that for now...got to get him contained again first. Worry about bringing the dead back later._Roy cleared his throat, "No matter how you look at it," he began, "You just tried to escape. Didn't you?"

"Me? Noooo, not at all. Just getting a message home, ok?" The teen had barely finished speaking before Hawkeye's gun was once more leveled at his face. As he laughed nervously, Mustang pulled his gloves back on. "Ha… haha... I guess the truce is over then?"

"I'm afraid so, young Naruto. You have proven yourself most untrustworthy."

The blond rolled his eyes at Armstrong, not noticing Ed sneaking up behind him "ME? Untrustworthy? That's not fair; it's my nindo to never go back on my word!"

Quicker than a thought, he leapt over Ed and ran for the wall. "Well, the hell with this, I'm out of here!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE, GOLDIE-EYES!"

Mustang cursed under his breath, but he couldn't say he had not been expecting this. "After him!" He took off running, relatively close on the heels of the tricky guy. Hawkeye, Scar, Ling, Lan Fan, Ed and of course Al, were right there with him as they reached the side of the courtyard._Now we've got him!_"There's nowhere to run, Naruto! Just give up!"

"I never give up!" Came the panting response as the boy ran dead on to the wall._Is he trying to commit suicide?_"And I can always go UP!" Without slowing down, Naruto slammed into the wall, feet first, before running up it. For the first ten feet, Roy kept expecting him to fall, only to be shocked as he kept going straight up.

"What the?"

"How can he do that? Al, you seem to know what's going on, HOW THE HELL IS HE DOING THAT!" Ed shouted, kicking the wall, "_HEY YOU_! Get down here! That's cheating!"

"Sir?" Hawkeye had the blond in her sights; Mustang nodded, but was not surprised when he dodged the shot and kept going up.

"Shall I intervene?"

"No, Alex, just wait a second." The Brigadier General actually grinned at the sight of Naruto reaching the roof. He ducked out of view over the edge for a moment. "Right about...NOW!" Just as he shouted out the word, the shinobi went flying backwards over the edge, sliding down the side of the building before coming to a stop about halfway down. "Give up yet?" He calmly called.

Alphonse looked at him, "OHHH, so that's where Fuery and Havoc are!"

"Well, I admit, I wasn't expecting him to run up the side of a building like that, but he does turn into a giant fox-monster, so I thought we should have some tricks ready."

Scar was eyeing the situation critically, and Roy raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what the Ishballan was thinking, "Major, a lift please?" He smirked, "I think I shall go give our friends a little hand."

"Certainly." Armstrong quickly obliged, creating a pillar-elevator that rocketed both men to the roof in no time.

"If you give up now, and come quietly, I'm sure we could come to an agreement," Roy taunted.

"Fuck you!" With that, the blond was tearing around the courtyard's wall, getting as far away from them as he could. The group readily took off after him, following the line of the wall. When Naruto shot up, back towards the roof, Mustang shared a grin with Ed as the section of wall shot out into the middle of the courtyard. "What? This isn't going to stop me!" Even as the half-bridge formed, Naruto was running across it towards the roof. Suddenly, the bridge's base disappeared, breaking the large structure apart.

"Now we've got him!" crowed Ed as the teen plummeted towards the earth.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Roy's jaw dropped, "What the hell?" Suddenly, there were three Naruto's instead of one. Two of the Naruto's clasped each other's arms before kicking off the offered hands of the third one.

The one who'd been used as a kick-board went flying back into the wall, disappearing in a_**PUFFT!**_that Mustang was really beginning to hate. The other two streaked out along the length of the collapsing bridge. "Idiots, they should have gone to the side," He spat, coming to a stop. He was no fool— there was no way he was going to go where he could get crushed.

As they stood watching the blond, Ed's head snapped around as if he heard something amidst the thuds of falling rock, "AH SHIT! Winry!"

"What?"

"THERE!" Hawkeye pointed, "She's there!"

Al started to run, having been the first to realize the danger. "She's going to be crushed!" The Automail Mechanic was not where they had left her. For some reason—_probably her insatiable curiosity,_Roy mused— she had left the relative safety of the benches and was now directly in the path of boulders that were formally a half a bridge.

It was then Roy realized that she was also in the path of not one, but TWO Narutos. "SHIT!" He ran after Al, only a second behind the older Elric, who'd probably realized it already if his shout of 'DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER YOU ASSHOLE' was any indication.

Before they could even make it anywhere near her, however, the now-twin set landed in front of her before leaping out of the way of a rock. As they continued to dodge the increasing debris, the two rushed her, hands still clasped, "GO!"

"YEAH BOSS!" One of them actually tossed the other, sending him directly into Winry before Roy's view was completely blocked by the remains of the bridge with a resounding_**BOOM**_.

"Winry!" The brothers shouted as they rushed the wreckage.

"Any sign of her, Ed?" Shouted Ling as he and Lan Fan clambered over boulders looking.

"Nothing!" Gold eyes searched the yard in misery, "How about you guys?"

"Keep looking, Fullmetal!" Roy barked, combing the ground for signs of what exactly had happened. A patch of orange snagged on a rock caught his eye._What's this? Even if they WERE crushed, we should be finding more than just a scrap of cloth. Don't tell me that little monster kidnapped her in all that._Roy froze, he thought he heard something.

"UNNGH..."

"Wait!" Quickly he pushed though the rubble towards the sound, "Over here!" A glimpse of orange as he ducked around another ridiculously large stone. "I see something!" Suddenly he was through the rubble, Hawkeye right behind him, the teens coming up fast behind.

Naruto lay there, unmoving, with his back to them.

"Where's Winry?" Ed shouted, storming up to the still form. Right before he got there, the other blond sat up slowly, back still turned.

"Hey, are you ok? Geez, that was stupid, running into a fight like that! You're just lucky I saw you right before they dropped that. A second later..." He stood, dragging a shaking Winry up with him. "That was _really_ stupid." Naruto reiterated.

Just then, Winry saw her childhood friend. "ED!" She cried, throwing herself at the stunned teen, "Oh Ed! I was so scared!" She punched him in the head, "WHY didn't you RESCUE me?"

"I shouldn't have had to! You need to stay where you're put, idiot!"

"I don't want to hear that from the guy who went running off after any clue of the philosopher's stone!"

"Automail maniac!"

"Alchemy freak!"

A cough could be heard. Roy, Ling, Al, Ed and Winry looked back at Naruto, who was eyeing Lan Fan and Hawkeye warily. "Um, I get that you're happy to see each other and all, but what am I? Chopped liver? I just saved your ass! You could at least say 'Thank you, Naruto-san, for using your great ninja skills to save me,' you know?" He pouted when they just glared at him, "FINE! Then just do me the favor of getting a room first, ok?" He might not have seen the wrench coming, but he caught it none the less. Blinking in surprise, he flipped it in his hands. "Wow, this is some wrench."

"Give it back!"

"Hey! You tried to hit me with it!"

Gun leveled in an obvious threat, Hawkeye tried diplomacy, "Naruto, please, could you give Winry her wrench back?"

"Why should I?" he huffed, "I'm done playing your stupid games. I'm sick of it." He tossed the wrench back, whipping it past their heads to smash into the stone behind them, leaving the boulder badly cracked. "There's your stupid wrench back." He shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable and tired as Winry snatched up the wrench and went running towards the closest door.

_He's worried...why?_"Just take it easy, Naruto," Roy began, signaling Hawkeye to put her gun away, "We just..."

"Want to tie me up and hurt me?" The blond snorted, "Oh, wait, you wanted 'answers' to your questions. Questions that make no sense!" It was obvious there was no stopping the rant. "I keep telling you guys, over and over again, I don't _KNOW_! Alright? I don't know anything about any of this! And I hate it!" He threw up his arms, "I'm sick of having seriously creepy people mess with my life." He gripped his hitai-ate. "I just want to go home." he muttered, seeming more like a typical teen.

_Not that the teens I see are normal,_Mustang cocked an eyebrow at him, crossing his arms. "You summon a giant toad, and make copies of yourself, and you think we're creepy?"

"No," Naruto clarified, "I think you're all assholes. I kinda get where you're coming from though," he grudgingly admitted. "That other guy, he's just plain creepy. I thought Sai had a disturbing smile, but seriously, that guy takes the cake."

"Creepy how?"

"Ling, I really don't think you're helping," Al sighed.

"No, Ling may be on to something..." mused Ed, "A creepy smile...weird room... Weird how?"

The teen scratched at his whiskers, cocking his head to the side, all anger apparently forgotten. "I don't know. Just weird. Not like where the Kyuubi is, I'm used to that by now. But, I dunno, like the world's most boring genjutsu." Mustang noticed that he was swaying ever so slightly on his feet._He's exhausted, I'll bet._The teen casually leaned against a bolder before waving up at the roof where the others stood ready_. Exhausted, but still alert.__He's fading fast, though; we'll just wait him out._

"What's a genjutsu?" Lan Fan asked, surprising everyone.

"Ehh? I thought you were an ANBU, how can you not know that?" The boy asked before shrugging, "You know, one of the shinobi arts. Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and Genjutsu." He smiled wanly as they continued to stare blankly at him, "Come on, Taijutsu is hand to hand, Ninjutsu is chakra manipulation skills, and Genjutsu is illusion techniques. This is academy level stuff. The basics. You should know this!"

"So then, it was like a boring illusion?"

"Yeah," he yawned, blinking rapidly.

"What would be a boring illusion, though?" Roy turned to the others.

"I don't know, sir."

"Hey you, no going to sleep just yet!" Ed slapped the other blond on the back, a bit rougher then necessary.

"I got it! It would be all black, right?" Ling slapped his fist into his palm. "Then there's nothing to see."

"No, I don't think it would be all black..."

"But all white! That's it, Al!" The two brothers turned to look at Naruto, who was more than half asleep, "The gate!"

Roy snorted, "Wait just a minute, you can't expect me to believe that he has anything to do with that place."

"Why not, we think he is a homunculus. That one, Gluttony, had a false gate. It's possible he's tapped into it somehow." Ling mused, poking the blond, "Too bad he's out or we could ask him."

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><p><em><strong>And chakra exhaustion from using sage mode kicks in.<strong>_

_**A fast note to Gone Fishing, Yeah, I really debated how durable to make the clone, but decided that since it was a clone, and they are not the strongest, a group attack would probably land at least one solid enough hit to disrupt the chakra. Or, we can just say the Nature-energy ran out right before he got shot. Point is, I didn't want the FMA group to realize quite then that it was a clone. They're plenty disturbed about it now, though. From their perspective, Naruto just called two others and killed them to save himself (and Winry). And don't get depressed, you knew he was up to something, that counts!**_

_**Ling escorted May and Marcoh out of the courtyard when the shit hit the fan, mostly because with the homuculi they've dealt with non-combatants are a target. May did not go willingly, by the way. She's got some insights after seeing Sage mode up close, dammit!**_

_**Naruto's temper has frayed once again. He was never the calmest of people, and by now, he's angry that he hasn't gotten away, and has figured out that Gamatatsu has most likely completely forgotten what he was supposed to be doing. He's not so much uncomfortable, as falling asleep and fighting it, but Roy misinterpreted it at first.**_

_**So, now they think he's seen the gate, or at least another fake gate...and that's all I have for now. I'm going to take a nap, because I can, before writing some more of the next chapter.**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Kitsune here with a new chapter! This was like pulling teeth. Seriously, I warred with myself on this one. Anyway. I've now got me a nice awesome beta reader who is being kind enough to help with editing for spelling and such. Seriously, I owe you big.**_

_**In other news, um. Stuff. A lot happens in this chapter. Can't say more here without giving things away.**_

_**I do have two Naruto-based questions that have been bugging the shit out of me.**_

_**The first is, if Naruto failed the Academy test twice, shouldn't he start the series two years older than everyone else in his class? What, did he get enrolled extra early? In any case, Lee, Neji and Tenten should have recognized him when they met for the first time.**_

_**The second is Ibiki's test for the chuunin exam. You have a paper with 9 questions plus one mystery question. The blank page starts out as 10 points, and you don't GAIN points for correct answers, you LOSE them for incorrect ones. Wouldn't a blank page still be worth 10 points at the end of the test? I don't remember him saying you actually had to write anything...**_

_**Just been bugging me a lot recently.**_

_**"Thanks and Thanks again!" to all of you who've read, reviewed, faved, and alerted. Notes at the end.**_

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><p><em>_<strong>*&amp;*&amp;*<strong>_**POV NARUTO_*&*&*_**_

When Naruto awoke, he found himself confused by his location. He had only been out for maybe an hour or so, and he'd really been expecting to wake up chained against a wall or something. Instead, he found himself on a rather comfortable couch. Naturally, he froze, since it wasn't the first time he had woken up somewhere unexpected.

A voice came from somewhere by his feet, "But, I'm telling you that I don't think he's a homunculus!"

"May, you felt that thing, that, what did he call it, Kyuubi, feels just like them." He recognized that one—Ling was apparently right in his face. The blond decided to keep his eyes closed and pretend to still be sleeping as long as possible.

"Even when you were a homunculus, you always felt like a homunculus to me. He doesn't!" The voice he now identified as 'May' yelled, "He doesn't! When he does that 'Sage Mode' he doesn't feel like it at all! You know this!"

"But, May," Al said from somewhere by the girl, "We don't really know what that is. All we've proven is he's stronger and different then the ones we have fought."

"Then how do you explain the Gate, Al?"

"Ed," Roy seemed to be somewhere past his head, "We have no proof that he was talking about that place. As Ling pointed out, it could very well be another false gate."

Oh great, it's a full room isn't it? Naruto mused as he lay there. He could feel at least seven other people in the room with him, and he had a feeling that there were more right outside the door. What the hell, you save someone's life, and they up the guards?

"I've never seen this 'gate' of yours, but what worries me is his talk of bringing the dead back. This person he and the toad spoke of sounded an awful lot like Father." And that would be Scar-face, somewhere over on the other side of the room. "We might have another being that wants to become god on our hands."

"Oh, come on! He saved my life; he can't be all that bad." The girl he had saved, Winry, was apparently in the room as well.

"That may be the case, Miss Rockbell, but it could have been a ruse. He could have done so in order to gain our trust."

"Oh, now you guys are just being paranoid, Major." The girl responded, "All I see is a boy who saved my life at the risk of his own while you people were trying to flatten him into a pancake."

"Winry, let me assure you, even if we flattened this guy, he'd be fine in a few hours," Mustang sighed; apparently this conversation had been going on for a while. "This guy is an un-killable monster."

The girl made a sound of protest, only to be cut off. "Mmm, he's got a point, Winry-san. He does turn into a big monster-fox-rabbit thing." Ling poked Naruto in the head as he spoke, "He's definitely an odd one. Hey, when you guys are done with him, can I take him back to Xing with me? That old emperor might like a new pet."

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. "I'm not a freaking pet!" he shouted as he snatched at the hand, discovering his hands were tied together, "And Kyuubi is a fox. Not a rabbit, not a monster. The nine tailed demon fox."

"Oh, he's awake."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Ling..." Suddenly there was a weight on his chest; opening his eyes, he found himself nose to nose with Ed. "Now, tell me what you know about the Gate! How did you get there, and did you see that bastard Truth?"

Naruto blinked up at him, "Eh? What gate?"

"That place you said was like a weird illusion. Tell me about it. Now."

"Get off me first! I can't breathe with you sitting on my chest, you weirdo." Once the other teen had gotten off his chest, Naruto sat up, turning to face the room full of wary people. "Why am I here?"

"We're the ones asking questions," Roy put in from his seat behind a desk. Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.

"The Gate?" prompted Al.

"Huh? I don't know what that is." Naruto shrugged, "I saw no gate. I was hoping it was some weird genjutsu that Nagato did. But it was really boring, nothing like Ita...this other guy's abilities. It was all white, kinda like a hospital, except there were no sounds or smells. Completely empty. What was really weird was Kyuubi was there too, and that's never happened before. He's supposed to be in the seal-cage."

"Sounds like the gate to me," Ed sighed. "Al, Roy?"

"I agree, brother."

"I'm not so sure, Ed. Last time I was there, it wasn't empty."

"Roy, last time you were there, you were blind," Ed pointed out, "so how would you know?"

"Ehhh? What are you guys talking about?" Naruto huffed, attempting to cross his arms, only to be ignored.

"So, was he there because he tried to bring back the dead?"

"I've never tried to bring back the dead! That's a forbidden technique; it can get you kicked out of the village and labeled a missing-nin just for talking about doing that! Don't even joke about that shit." The blond shivered, "I've got enough people after me without adding the ANBU black-ops to the list, thanks."

"Then what were you talking about earlier, in regards to all the dead people you 'got Nagato to bring back,' boy?" Armstrong flexed, "It's very unmanly to blame others for your deeds."

"What on earth are you talking about? It's not like I beat him up till he gave back their souls or anything. We just talked about stuff. I wanted to know why he sent the six Peins after me and killed everyone, and so he told me."

"Pain, like headaches and such?" Winry piped in. "How do you send a feeling after someone?"

"Well, I assume they'd be similar to the homuculi, and named after types of pain," Scar spat. "Another egotistical man attempting to take over the world. Don't you Alchemists ever learn?"

The blond let his eyes roam around the room, looking for a way out. Distractedly, he clarified, "Not PA-in, PE-in. The six paths of Pein. They had some real scary skills! But, really, it was all Nagato, which is way scarier. He wanted to become God and stop the cycle of pain and hate. But, his methods only produced more pain. Still, he wanted to help everyone, in his way."

There was a moment of silence before Ed asked, "He wanted to be a God...and killed a bunch of people...in order to HELP people? How the fuck does that work? And you, where were you in all this?"

"Training with the toads to beat him." Naruto shrugged, "And before he attacked my home, I was training with my Sensei, my team, or my Master." He stood and stretched, "It's hard work to become this amazing."

"Team?" Roy raised an eyebrow, warily eyeing the bound blond as he strolled up to the desk and flipped open the file on his desk.

"Yep. I've been training with them since I was a kid. Got put on my team at twelve." He smirked up at Mustang, "You know what was the first thing my Sensei taught us? Eva—"

_***&*&*_POV ED_*&*&***_

Ed blinked in surprise. "Get Winry out of here, NOW!" One moment, that idiot Naruto had been standing next to Roy, taunting him, and more than likely plotting to bolt out of the window, and the next, he was just gone. There wasn't even the usual puff of smoke, or anything. Somehow, he didn't think it was quite deliberate. He carefully checked were the whiskered possible-homunculus had been standing._I smell ozone, but other than that I don't see anything out of the ordinary..._

"-ell do you think you...?" Naruto stopped mid sentence. "Ah crap, back here again?" He looked at the window, "Screw this, I-" and was gone again.

"What the hell is going on?" Shouted Roy as both he and Ed made a grab for the blond, only grabbing the air where he had been.

"It was too fast, dammit. Where will he appear next?"

"Brother?" It was obvious to Ed that no one else realized just what had happened.

"It's the Gate, Al. Somehow, without an array or anything, he's sent himself there. But what I don't..."

There he was again. But something was different. The former Alchemist could feel the malice radiating off him. The boy looked over his shoulder, smirking at them with blood red eyes as some strange energy enveloped him, rapidly forming what appeared to be ears and tails._**"Hahaha... It worked!"**_He took a step towards them before a bloom of fire stopped him

"Don't even think about it, or I roast you where you stand."

Ed got as close as he could, a plan half-formed in his mind as the blond glared at Mustang.**"**_**You are Nothing! I will.**_..**NOT LET YOU...**_**Stop fighting me**_...Give me back my body!" The overwhelming feeling of hate abruptly vanished, as did the strange swirling energy, leaving Naruto panting. "I think I'm gonna be sick," he whined before bolting for the window.

_I can't let him get away! Let's hope I'm right about this, because if I'm wrong, I'm so dead._ Ed lunged, tackling the other blond just as he reached the window. "Roy! Outside, NOW!" he bellowed as the two went crashing though into the open air. _Why does he have to have his office on the fifth floor?_ Was his last thought as he scrunched his eyes closed so he couldn't see the ground come racing up at them—

_***&*&*Change*&*&***_

There was no impact. Ed cracked open a golden eye as Naruto squirmed out of his grip. There was nothing to see, everything before him was white. "Shit. It is the Gate."

"What the fuck! Stop getting in my way, Smudge! I told you I'm going home, dammit!"

_Smudge?_

_"And I told you that I'm not stopping you at all,"_came the amused response. Tugging his jacket back into some semblance of order, Ed located the source of the voice._"Hello again, Mr. Alchemist."_The speaker turned his crazy-grin back to Naruto, _"The way you used is closed. I can't send you back."_

"But you said you COULD!" The blue eyed blond shouted.

_"I did send you back."_

"You just sent me back to that nuthouse!"

_Is he arguing...with Truth? And where's the Gate itself? His should be here at least..._"What the hell is going on?"

"That's what I want to know!" The other blond shouted as Truth laughed, "YOU! I want answers!"

_"But, you know all the answers already."_Truth turned his attention back to his old acquaintance._"Much like you, they have no gate,"_he explained, preempting the question,_"They arrived through different means. Honestly, you think they would be thankful that I rescued them."_

"They?"

_**"You call that a rescue? HAHAHAHA… You're almost as amusing as the brat."**_The hair on the back of Ed's neck stood up. Slowly, he turned and looked behind him. There, attached somehow to Naruto's shadow, stood a monster._**"Come, boy, let me eat you again. I almost had us out of that place."**_

Naruto rounded on the monster, "NO! That was the worst feeling in the world, you stupid fox! I told you I won't let you control me like that!"

_**"Then what about him?"**_The beast looked right at Ed's slightly shaking form, laughing,_**"Can I eat him? I wonder what would happen if I did. He's barely a snack though."**_

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE DOESN'T EVEN QUALIFY AS AN H'ORDERVE?" Ed screeched before realizing what exactly he was shouting at._Ah crap._Suddenly, Naruto was between him and the fox, arms out.

"NO. No eating people! Bad fox, BAD!" The whiskered boy turned back to Ed, "I won't let him eat you, and he knows it. He thinks he's being funny, and THAT guy keeps letting him in here."

_"Of course. Where one goes, you both go. Even you should know that, Mr. Jinchuuriki."_Truth laughed.

Ed couldn't believe it. He'd seen the picture, but seeing something that large and obviously mean right in front of you is another thing. "THAT is what is inside you?" He looked incredulously at the other blond, who refused to meet his eyes, "Someone put THAT in you when you were a baby?"

Naruto pouted, "Yeah, so? It's not that big of a deal, really."

_**"Not that big of a deal!"**_ The beast hooted in laughter, _**"Oh, you're priceless, Naruto. All that pain and suffering, and you say it isn't that big of a deal. You truly are an idiot."**_ The fox turned its attention back to Truth, tails whipping in annoyance, _**"Well, are you going to send us back, or are you waiting until I eat Naruto again?"**_

_"I don't think he likes that, Kyuubi. And here I was enjoying the company. Well then, back you all go."_ He turned his faceless face towards Ed_,__"Come again, Mr. Alchemist. When you find the way, that is..."_

_***&*&*Change*&*&***_

He felt someone shaking him. "ED! Are you all right?" It was Mustang.

"Nnnnn, fine. Just stop shaking me, alright?" he mumbled, sitting up.

Roy punched his head, "Don't you ever do something like that again, Fullmetal!" He snarled as Al rushed forward to hug his brother.

"Where's Naruto?" He asked as he looked around, seeing Hawkeye, Ling, Lan Fan, Al, and of course Roy. He assumed the others weren't far away.

"UUUGGGHHH, I'm going to be sick," came the moan from just behind him.

"Never mind."

"What happened, Brother?" _What happened indeed, I wonder._

"I'll tell you guys about it all later, but I can tell you he definitely saw Truth." He glared at Mustang, "YOU didn't tell me that the Kyuubi-monster was THAT big! He threatened to eat me!"

Roy's jaw dropped, "You SAW that thing?"

"Yeah. That is one nasty piece of work," griped the blond as he stood with the help of his brother. "We've been really lucky so far."

"Lucky how?"

"Oh crud, what if Gamakichi tries to summon me again? I seriously can't handle any more!_"__I can relate to that. That trip always makes my stomach turn. I can't imagine doing it three times so rapidly._ "I know!" Naruto leapt to his feet, ignoring the crowd. He chomped down on his thumb and then pressed his hand into the ground.

_**PUFFT!**_

_Ahh, so that's how he does it._

A large toad now squatted amidst the group, causing them all to take a few large steps back. This one looked a bit meaner than the previous toad. Its colors were darker, and it looked like it had a cocky expression._Not that I know how a toad can look cocky._

"Gamakichi! What gives, man? You keep sending me to this awful place. Knock it off already and bring me home, dammit! I can't take it anymore!" Naruto cried, waving his arms around emphatically.

"M-MUUMPH!"

"Eh?"

"MMMMPH!"

He leaned closer, "Eh?" before looking at the toad. "What do you have in your mouth? Were you eating? You're supposed to be SAVING ME and you WERE EATING?"

The toad looked affronted. Then it glared at all of them before its eyes settled on Hawkeye. If looks could kill, the look it gave her would have dropped her like a rock. Finally it turned back to Naruto before opening its mouth wide, revealing...

"Is that a dog?" Ling asked.

The shinobi grabbed the small pug-like dog out of the toad's mouth and hugged it. "Pakkun!"

"Yo, Naruto. Put me down."

"It's a dog...That can TALK?" Ed winced; the last talking dog-creature he had seen had been made out of Nina and Alexander.

"Sorry." The teen sheepishly put the dog down, "Wait, what were you doing in Gamakichi's mouth?"

"Of course I can talk," The dog groused. "Tsunade's plan, kid. Ya might want to step back." The dog nipped his paw-pad before pressing it into the dirt.

_**PUFFT!**_

A sliver haired man stood before them, holding a now familiar orange book. One eye was hidden behind a hitai-ate, and the rest of his face was obscured with a black mask. "Oh, hey, Naruto." The man said, putting away his book. "That took less time than I was expecting."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bonzai! Kakashi!<strong>_

_**Also, we had Ed's POV for a change, because Roy wouldn't have fit there, and it didn't flow well with him anyway. From Naruto's POV it also came out odd...so Ed!**_

_**Yes, I know people are probably confused. First off, Naruto did come to FMA via the Gate, as in, he showed up there with Truth. Truth sent him on to Amestris, collecting a fee for his good deed. Think of it like he kinda did the world change with a layover in Gate-land. Every time they try to reverse summon him, it pulls him half way and gets interrupted. Like...he's a square and the path has a circle hole. Or a video that won't buffer all the way. He hits that and lands with Truth. Naruto isn't an Alchemist, so he actually has no gate-wall-thing. Neither does the fox. Answers will be forthcoming, eventually. Even if I have to do that bonus chapter at the end of Naruto's first visit with Truth.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Yay next chapter! You know, from the last one, I get you all are Kakashi fans...**_

_**This chapter was re-written a few times. From scratch. Very annoying, but I hope it came out well. Notes to follow at the end of the chapter. Once again, take them or leave them.**_

_**Thanks to everyone who answered my questions! I still am bothered by them (if Naruto was dead last, how could he take the test 2 times early for example) but it was great seeing other people's takes on these questions, and to know I'm not the only one who was bugged by them.**_

_**This chapters question would be, I wonder if there are more Male or Female Naruto fans?**_

_**Once again, "Thanks and thanks again," to my readers, reviewers, favers, alerters and C2ers...If I didn't get back to you on your review, I'm sorry!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV NARUTO_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

"Kakashi-sensei!" He could hardly believe his eyes. If seeing Pakkun hadn't been enough, here before him stood the one man he had complete faith in. Most of the time, anyway. "What, how? I can't believe you're here!"

"Hey, Naruto!" Gamakichi interrupted, "Is that blond lady the one that tried to hurt my little bro?"

The blond paused, becoming worried for a second, "Gamatatsu's ok, right?"

"Yeah, that idiot's fine. He told me you got hurt instead. Thanks, man." Gamakichi puffed up, turning his attention back to Hawkeye, who actually looked worried. "No one, but NO one tries to hurt my baby brother but me, bitch!" Naruto warily looked at the group surrounding his friends._If he attacks, they're going to go all out, I just know it!_The problem was, he didn't see all the faces he was familiar with. While he had complete faith in his friends, he didn't think he could handle them getting hurt because of him right now.

"Now now, Gamakichi, we've talked about this," Kakashi rested a hand on the toad's arm, ignoring the threatening looks being shot around. "You and Pakkun need to complete the mission. I'll take care of things here with Naruto." He turned his attention to the dog sitting calmly at his feet. "Pakkun, go let Tsunade-sama know that phase one was a success."

"You sure that's a good idea, Kakashi? I don't like the look of these people. And Naruto there is looking a little worse for wear." Pakkun growled, "Maybe we should stay and help, yeah?"

"No. Finish your mission, that's an order."

Naruto blinked dully for a second as both summons disappeared with a_**PUFFT!**_,obviously unhappy. "Wait, Tsunade-baa-chan's ok? What about everyone else?"

"They're all worried about you, of course, Naruto," came Kakashi's evasive response. "Sakura, Sai, and Yamato all volunteered for this mission, but, well, Sai doesn't have a summon yet and the three of them are needed back home, anyway. So, they sent me. I hope you don't mind."

Mustang took a step forward, shrugging off Ed, "And who, exactly, are you?"

"Me?" Kakashi pointed to himself, sliding in front of Naruto._This can't be good, Kakashi's angry._"I'm Hatake Kakashi, Jounin of Konohagakure. And who might you be?"

Mustang looked taken aback at getting a straight answer from someone for once. "I'm Roy Mustang, Brigadier General of Amestris."

"Ah, good," Kakashi pushed Naruto behind him, ignoring the teen's protests, "Now that we've gotten those annoying pleasantries out of the way, I'll be taking my student and leaving now."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Mustang smirked as Hawkeye leveled her weapon at Kakashi.

"No!"

"Shut up, Ed. Let me handle this." The dark haired man's attention never left Kakashi. "Your... student... is a threat."

"What exactly did you do, Naruto?" Kakashi casually asked.

"He destroyed a building, hurting many of my people, and has refused to cooperate. I intend to get answers, and I'll use any means necessary to get them."

"Guess you were a bit busy, eh, Naruto?" Kakashi's eye crinkled in a smile, "I guess that explains your appearance as well. Good boy." He turned his attention back to Mustang, suddenly deadly serious, "It's unfortunate for you, then, that I have no intention of sitting still while you try and get those answers."

_Crap, he's really, really pissed._Killer intent radiated off the older shinobi as he faced down the growing group. "Kakashi-sensei? I really don't think this is a good idea..." before the blond could finish his statement, Kakashi whisked them away in a swirl of leaves. Blinking, he found himself up on the roof.

Kakashi smiled, "What was that about it being a bad idea, Naruto?" he asked as the aura around him faded.

"Um, well, I think a few of them can sense chakra. Or at least, they can feel where I am." Naruto grumbled.

"Well, now. That could be a problem." The man opened up his favorite book once more, assuming what Naruto had come to know as 'the really annoying thinking pose.' "Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what happened while I plan our next move, alright?"

"Let's see. Well, I was talking to Nagato about bringing everyone back, and when I turned around I was in this weird place that had a guy who grinned worse than Orochimaru and looked like a smudge on the wall, but then, then next thing I knew I was freaking HUGE and people were attacking me! I got captured, but then I couldn't get away and the damn mangy furball kept messing with my concentration, too. I was seriously weak for some reason. Something about a fee?" He scratched his head, "You know, Ibiki would probably like these guys. Some of the tactics they use are the same... Anyway, I almost got away, yesterday, was it? But then this blond girl would've gotten flattened so I had to go back to rescue her, you know? And then, well, we're here."

Kakashi put his book down and sighed, "How many times have I told you that that is NOT the way you give a proper report? Only you would be able to give a report that tells someone everything they want to know and yet absolutely nothing at the same time. I know Iruka taught you better than that."

"Heheh, yeah, well...a lot has happened?" The teen laughed nervously as Kakashi looked over the edge of the building. Down below they could see the group scurry around trying to locate just where the experienced nin had taken them. For the first time since he'd arrived, things were really looking up, and it was all thanks to his teacher's appearance._Wait a second...If Kakashi-sensei is here..._"GAH! Kakashi-sensei! How are you supposed to get back! That means you're stuck too!"

"Calm down, Naruto. I should be fine. I'm not going to get stuck like you." He turned his attention back to his book for a moment, turning the page as he walked away from the ledge, "I assume the problem has something to do with your smudge-man with the creepy smile."

"Well, that's not fair," the blond pouted, "how come I get screwed, then?"

"Mmm... I'll have to get back to you on that." Looking fondly at his student, he continued, "For now, just think of it as getting caught by ANBU border patrol when you try and get back to the Fire Nation. I remember Jiraiya saying something about a mishap like that, right? So, all we have to do is find a way for you to get past that, and you'll be home free." He ruffled Naruto's hair before walking back to the edge determinedly.

"Kakashi-sensei? You're not gonna leave me here, are you?"

"Don't worry, Naruto, I'll be right back," Kakashi chuckled, "Those who abandon the mission are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Especially when that comrade happens to be the savior of the village." The man shot his student a slightly nervous smile, "Think about it from my perspective. Tsunade and Sakura would kill me if I went back without you."

"Well..." He looked down at his tattered clothes._I must look like shit. They're gonna kill me for getting into so much trouble. That's IF they don't kill me for disappearing like that._

As usual, his thoughts must have been clear on his face. Kakashi smiled, "Trust me. It's in both of our best interests for me to bring you back as soon as possible. So sit tight, I'll be back in a bit." With that, he vanished.

_**_*&*&*_POV MUSTANG_*&*&*_**_

Mustang was beyond angry as he stormed back to his office. Not only did some random stranger appear out of nothing again, but then he up and vanished with his captive! Everyone was diligently looking for the two of them, but so far there had been no luck. Roy had finally made enough of a pest of himself that Hawkeye had told him to go be useful and get some paperwork done. He snorted, his mind far from the stacks of paper on his desk that awaited his return as he marched down the last hall._The man is fast, much faster than the blond. No, that's not quite right... he doesn't hesitate. This Kakashi person is dangerous._His thoughts kept circling back to the look that man had given him, the look that made him feel like the bad guy. "The HELL with this!" He snarled, sending a poor private scurrying down the hall in fear as the flame alchemist yanked open his door and slammed it behind him.

"Well,_someone_seems to be in a bad mood, Brigadier General."

Mustang brought his fingers up, ready to snap. "Who's there?"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten me already." A man with silver hair was sitting in the window, paging though a folder. Roy had a feeling he knew which folder it was.

"You!"

"Yes. Me." Kakashi put the folder down and lazily looked over at the other man. Roy felt a chill. This was a man who wouldn't hesitate to kill. It was in that moment he realized how lucky they'd been in dealing with the monster-teen. Despite the homunculus-like creature trapped within, the whiskered teen had not seemed particularly blood-thirsty. He'd even gone out of his way to rescue Winry for crying out loud. The shinobi before him now, however, was a very different story. _He's seen war,_ Mustang realized, _and right now,__I'm his enemy.__SHIT. Where the hell are these freaks coming from?_"Why the hell are you here in my office? And for that matter, how the hell did you find it?" The man didn't move from his spot as Roy cautiously made his way to his desk. It was a risky move, but as a power play he deemed it necessary.

"Me? I told you, I'm just here to collect my wayward student. It seems he got caught up in a jutsu that somehow led him to end up here with you. We've been looking everywhere for him, you know, and when Gamatatsu showed up yammering about a bunch of 'Weirdo Freaks that were Very Mean and Scary' that wouldn't let Naruto leave, well then. It's only natural that we thought you had something to do with it."

When he put it that way..."So you came here, alone, to rescue him?"

"Yes."

"Well," Roy smirked, "as I said before, that's just not going to happen. Your student, whatever he is, did a lot of damage, and he's not going anywhere until he can prove he's not a threat. Unless you want to try and convince me?" he dared the other.

Kakashi's eye got steely as he held up the folder he had been looking though, "You play rough, don't you, Mustang? Sadly for me I don't have the regenerative abilities Naruto does, and unfortunately for you, I'm not as nice about_these_things as he is, either." He stood, tossing the folder onto the desk.

There was a banging at the door before it flew open. "Yo, Mustang, Ling says the freaky brat is on the roof. You coming or...never mind then. I see you're busy. We'll just..."

Roy sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "Edward..." he growled, not even bothering to look behind him, "Now is not a good time, Fullmetal."

"Yeah. I can see that, jackass. Come on, Al, let's go on that fox hunt."

The jounin vanished from in front of Mustang, only to appear behind Al holding a sharp kunai to his throat.

"Alphonse! Roy, do something about this!"

"Not this again." Roy rolled his eyes, "Relax, Edward, your brother is more than capable of taking care of himself."

Al was busy discovering that this shinobi was on a completely different level. If Kakashi didn't want to let you go, you weren't going anywhere. Pressing his kunai a little harder against the struggling gray-eyed blond, Kakashi drew blood. Casually, he remarked, "Don't move if you don't want to get hurt, kid," before turning his attention back to the leader of the group. "So, General, what's it going to be?"

"Let me guess, you'll let Alphonse go if I allow you and your student to escape, correct?"

"That's the general idea, yes."

"And if I say no? You'll kill the boy?"

Roy could see Ed's face as he froze, warily looking between the two men, and his stomach dropped a little bit. He knew what the other man was going to say. It was exactly what he would say if the tables were turned. Kakashi's eye turned cold, "Yes. I'll drop him right now, and anyone else I need to." The two men stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Over Kakashi's shoulder, Mustang saw Armstrong's hand raised in a familiar gesture:_On your mark. I'll back you up._An old code they'd used back in the day. It was a relief that Armstrong must have followed the boys. He just wasn't sure he could move fast enough to save Al, though.

Mustang was actually relieved when Ed broke the taboo.

"Would both of you just knock it off?" Ed shouted, pushing his way between the two men, barely sparing a glance to for his brother. "Enough of this macho-posturing bullshit, Mustang, I'm not letting you risk my brother's life for something so stupid!" He turned his baleful glare at Kakashi, "Listen, I really don't give a shit who you are, but I don't like you threatening my little brother. I get that you think you're protecting your student or whatever, but I think we all just need to calm down and talk about this like rational adults. All we want is some answers on WHY that guy came slamming into a building looking like a freaking GIANT FOX, ok?"

"Giant fox?" The jounin looked at Roy with new respect, "You survived a Kyuubi attack? You are either really good, or really lucky. Personally, I'm going with lucky."

"It wasn't that bad, Ishballan," Armstrong put in, warily coming into the room. "In fact, the beast was easy enough to fell compared to some other homuculi we have faced. Much easier than getting answers out of the boy the monster turned into, in fact."

"Scratch that," he let go of Al, who went running to his brother, "Incredibly lucky. And stupid. I'll take it then that you were not part of Nagato's plan?" The man expertly twirled his kunai before slipping it back into his pouch and pulling out his book, the picture of calm. He didn't even bother to shift his position to keep everyone in sight. His stance told Roy that he'd known the whole time that Armstrong had been there, and he wasn't threatened at all.

_There's that name again!_"Who the hell is this Nagato person?" Mustang asked, "And what plan?"

"Hmm, I'm not so sure about the details myself. Really, we thought he was sending Naruto to someone in particular. At least, that's what Yamato thought." The man calmly turned the page of his book, "It wouldn't be the first time a jinchuuriki was kidnapped by an unknown group," he continued sardonically.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Mustang sighed, casting a glance at the teen now perched on his windowsill. "I thought you said he was on the roof, Ed."

"Well, he was!"

"No, he still is, I can feel him up there," Alphonse cut in, looking confused.

The silver haired man ignored the looks Naruto was getting and turned the page again, "Yes, Naruto?"

"Boss says we've got trouble coming up on the roof. Wants to know the plan." The teen glared at Roy, "You need a hand, sensei?"

"No, I think I've got it under control." He looked over the top of his book at Mustang, "Let's say we call a truce, hmm? A temporary one, at least." Everyone was shocked at his words, "Or, we could fight." He cocked his visible eyebrow, a deliberate challenge.

_Damn him, he's sure he'd win._ Roy fumed, glaring at the man before shooting a look at the blond shinobi_.__Even the brat there thinks they'll win. If I refuse...I can't take the risk. DAMN it._ "Fine."

Kakashi nodded, "You heard the man, Naruto. Now, why don't you let the others know, and I'll see you in a bit?"

"But..." The blond pouted for a second, "Fine. I'll let the boss know."_**PUFFT!**_He vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving a stunned room behind him.

"How the HELL do you do that, anyway?" Ed exasperatedly demanded.

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><p><em><strong>Sorry if Kakashi seems a bit...Ooc, being actively angry, but Naruto looks like crap, and has been gone for quite a while. He's also looked at the file, and he doesn't like what he sees. Doesn't matter if he can't read it, he was in the ANBU, and I'm sure he's seen similar types of folders. That, plus what Naruto told him earlier...he's no fool though, which is why he called for a truce.<strong>_

_**Things will start to come to light in the next chapter, including what's going on back at Konoha...**_

_**I think that's it for my notes. And here I thought I had more.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**New chapter. Lots of talking, not a lot of action. I've got nothing much to say here. I think we're really close to the end, though, people.**_

_**"Thanks and thanks again" for the reviews, faves, alerts, and C2s, people! Love you all.**_

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV MUSTANG_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

"You might want to get some food sent up here, then." Kakashi sighed, putting his book away, "And I had just gotten to the good part. I'm sure Naruto is hungry. He always is." Casually the man relaxed against a wall. "I assume we're going to be meeting everyone here, that is."

"You really think that they're going to listen to him?" Armstrong asked.

The silver haired man's eye crinkled in a smile, "You don't know Naruto like I do. He has a way about him. They'll listen. Of course, he could always just drag them down here, too."

Mustang mockingly chuckled, "That brat doesn't seem all that impressive to me."

"That is where you're wrong. I'll let you in on a secret. That 'brat' as you call him is by far a stronger shinobi than I am. In fact, he may be one of the strongest I have ever met. All he lacks is experience, which, if you think about it, is very lucky for you." The man continued to smile, "Of course, if you tell him I said that, I'll have to kill you. It's the older generation's job to keep the younger one motivated, after all."

Mustang gaped at the man. Suggesting the blond teen was stronger seemed ridiculous. He'd successfully managed to restrain the brat for a good length of time. "You're just saying he's stronger because he's a homunculus."

"Hmm? Homunculus...was it?"

"Yeah, you know, a created human," Alphonse explained from his position besides his brother. "That's what he is, right?"

"Kakashi-sensei!" A shout could be heard followed by what Roy assumed was the group that had gone to the roof, unless someone had let elephants in the building. A gold, orange and black blur streaked into the room to stop right next to Kakashi. "Ano...what I miss? Are we really having a truce? How did you convince the Uchiha-wannabe, huh? More importantly, can we go home? I want ramen!"

"Woah, he's fast." Ling said from the doorway, leaning against it. "Right, Lieutenant?"

Hawkeye just glared at the whiskered teen, who was pointedly ignoring Ling, Scar and Hawkeye. Mustang assumed that Lan Fan, May and possibly Winry had gone off to find Marcoh. If nothing else, the young ninja would keep the others out of danger. She'd been the first to point out that with this new enemy, they were in serious trouble.

Ed snorted, "You're just slow, Prince. Uchiha-wannabe? What the hell is that?"

"An Uchiha is..." started the silver haired man, "An Uchiha." he smiled behind his mask at Roy._Real helpful._The man gave a calm wave to the new people in the room, "Yo, again. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names before, but no worries, I'm sure they weren't that important to begin with. Now, Naruto, could you please tell me what an Ishballan is? The tall man who reminds me of Gai for some reason called me that."

Naruto started to laugh, "Really? I can see that! That hair of yours does make you look so old, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Eh?"

Scar sighed from the doorway, "You are an idiot, boy."

"HEY!"

"An Ishaballan is a person who is from Ishbal, and follows the way of the one god. I'm an Ishballan. Your...friend, here, is obviously not, though his hair color suggests one of his ancestors was."

"Ah. A clan." Kakashi nodded, "I take it the clan characteristics are red eyes and white hair, then?" Scar nodded, a little surprised at Kakashi's quick, but apt, summary, "Now, what about a Homuculus?"

"Dunno, Kakashi-sensei. They keep calling me that, but I don't think they mean a jinchuuriki. That dude with the squinty eyes said he used to be one. That's impossible, though, right? I mean, Gaara died when they took Shukaku. Anyway, that guy said he used to be 'Greedy' or something, but wasn't anymore."

Kakashi sighed before looking at Roy, "Well?"

"Sorry, I don't speak idiot." _And I'll be damned if I tell you anything. Pompous ass._

"Mustang!" snarled Ed, "We called a truce, remember? You military idiot, have you finally fried your brains to a crisp or what? Besides, it's not like it's a big secret." The short blond turned to Kakashi, "A homunculus is a human-like being created through alchemy. There used to be seven of them, named after the deadly sins. Basically, a synthetic human, with crazy powers, and practically impossible to kill."

"I can assure you, then, that Naruto is not one."

"But, his abilities!" Hawkeye gasped, "I've seen it for myself; he's just like them."

"Am not!"

"Oh come on, you're harder to kill than a cockroach!" Roy snapped back, "It's annoying!" Suddenly he got a cold chill. He noticed that Kaskashi was giving him a look that promised death, pain, and dismemberment.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't just hear you admitting to trying to kill my student." The dangerous shinobi said lightly. "Naruto here is a jinchuuriki, not a homunculus. The difference being the fox inside of him was not man made." He paused for a second before shrugging, "At least, not technically. Kyuubi is a completely separate being from Naruto, as anyone who has truly fought the beast can attest to. Of course, if you mess with one, you tend to get the other, that's the nature of jinchuuriki."

Al looked confused, "So, the fox is a jinchuuriki?"

The whiskered youth shook his head. "No, Kyuubi is a Bijuu," he explained, "There's nine of them, but he's the strongest. I'm the Jinchuuriki." He noticed the confused looks. "Kinda like a jailer and host rolled into one, I guess." He pouted, "I don't see why we gotta talk to them about this, Sensei."

"We're exchanging information in an attempt to figure out how you ended up here. We have to assume Nagato sent you here for a reason. Have you found the other people yet?"

Armstrong frowned, "Other people? What other people?"

"Oh, you know, the girl in the mask, the runt, the blond and who ever they went to go find."

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I found them." He jabbed a finger at Ed, "Your girlfriend is NUTS! She hit me with a wrench before I could explain anything!"

"Wait, you've been right in front of us since the roof. How on earth could you have gotten to them so fast?" Ling asked, "I would have seen you leave."

Roy scowled as the two shinobi apparently ignored the remark. "I take it they're on the way, at least?" Naruto nodded. "Well then. I think it's time to get in here, Naruto." _Huh? But, he's right there! _In a flash, Kakashi had a kunai out and stabbed it straight into his student who looked at him in mock-shock.

Roy couldn't believe it, the man who had so casually threatened to kill anyone who got in the way of him rescuing his student had just killed the brat! _Even if he can survive that, it's just too cruel! They're supposed to be allies! What kind of place do these nut jobs come from? _"What the hell!"

_**PUFFT! **_The stabbed teen vanished in a cloud of smoke. "That was really uncool, Sensei." Roy spun around to see Naruto casually sitting in the open window. "You could have just told the clone to dispel, you know."

"And deprive myself of scaring these people?" The man shrugged, "It was much more amusing this way."

"Maybe for you," Ed muttered mutinously. "I'm sure you had a point in scaring the shit out of us?"

"Besides my own amusement, you mean? Yes." Kakashi looked pleased for some reason, "I was testing you, of course. You know nothing about shinobi, or you'd recognize a doppelganger as a clone, even if it was a shadow clone. You thought it was a real person, however. I doubt we're even in our world, let alone the elemental nations." He shook his head, "I can say this for you, Naruto. Even when getting kidnapped, you're the number one most unpredictable shinobi."

_**_*&*&*_POV NARUTO_*&*&*_**_

"Wait...what do you mean, we're not in our world?"

Just then the missing girls came running into the room, Doctor Marcoh right behind them. "ED! Are you alright? We ran into that guy, and when I hit him with my wrench he just went up in smoke! Can you..." Winry looked at a sheepish Naruto. "He's here! What's going on?" _Wow, she's loud. She's a lot like Sakura like that._ It was then she noticed Kakashi and flinched.

"Relax, Winry. You're giving me a headache." Ed waved her off, "We're at an impasse, basically."

"So you're just giving up?"

"Why shouldn't you? With Kakashi-sensei here, we could totally kick your asses!" Naruto boasted before Kakashi slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Is this the other man that appeared?" Marcoh asked, "I'd say that it's a pleasure, but I'm not so sure about that. Regardless, I'm sure we would all like some answers."

"That would be why we are all here, wouldn't it?" Kakashi nodded, "Now that I know that you didn't go out of your way to kidnap my student, I thought it would be in our best interest to improve relations here. Tsunade-sama did tell me to try to get Naruto out of whatever mess he landed in as 'diplomatically as possible.' So here we are."

_Wait, something's not right. Kakashi always calls Tsunade-baa-chan Hokage. _"Um, so, Kakashi-sensei, what's Baa-chan told the village about me being gone and all? I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"I was hoping to put this off till we got you back home safe and sound..."

"Ah crud, I'm in trouble, aren't I?" _Tsunade-baa-chan is going to KILL me. Gahhhh Sakura's going to kill me, too!_He had a sinking feeling,_What if Yamato-taicho finds out I almost turned into the nine-tailed fox? Oh man, he's gonna HELP kill me. And Sai... Sai's probably going to say something ridiculously inappropriate and draw a picture of it._

"You could say that." Naruto could picture his tombstone_'Here lies Uzumaki Naruto, survived by his friends who pounded him in to the ground after he vanished, leaving them to clean up his mess.'_He cringed as Kakashi continued, "Tsunade-sama is no longer Hokage. Danzo is."

"Wait. WHAT?" He felt like the world had dropped out from under him, "Is she ok? What happened? Danzo's that ass who made Sai do all that stupid shit, right? How the HELL did he become Hokage?"

The man put a hand on his student's shoulder, "Relax, Naruto, she's fine. Well, now she is. She'd pushed herself right into a chakra-exhaustion induced coma, but luckily, hearing you had vanished, she woke right up. Something about finding you and beating the crap out of you." Somehow, that didn't seem too lucky to Naruto. Kakashi looked at their audience, who were obviously confused, "Hokage is the leader of our village." He explained, "As for how Danzo became acting Hokage, while Tsunade-sama was out, he called a council meeting and demanded a vote, claiming that the village was at risk without a leader. He was right, of course. When the council hesitated to give him the position, he went to the Fire Daimyo who gave him the spot."

"So, then, the Daimyo would be your King, and the Hokage is the leader of the military?" Roy asked as the young shinobi gaped like a fish. Kakashi nodded, but kept his eye on Naruto, who was in obvious shock.

"Why would he do that?"

Kakashi sighed, "Because he hadn't heard how Donzo and his Root remembers hid during the attack, I'm guessing."

_Bullshit! _"Sai didn't hide!"

"No, he didn't," Kakashi couldn't help but smile at the ready defense of the pale, socially awkward youth. "Who do you think told us? Unfortunately, Danzo is acting Hokage, and he's fighting to keep the position right now. He's telling anyone who'll listen that you were a part of the plan to attack the village, which is why you suddenly vanished."

"BUT!"

"No one in the village believes him. You forgot about Katsuyu; she kept everyone who survived informed about your battle as it was happening right up till the end. She did leave out you going 'poof' on us. No need to cause a panic. Even those old council members are fighting putting you on the missing-nin list with Sasuke."

"Missing-nin? You're kidding, right?"

Kakashi ignored him and continued, "Tsunade-sama is petitioning the Daimyo to reverse his decision on Hokage, but she's still weak, and Danzo is attempting to use her connection with you against her." He gave a cruel smile, "It's not working as well as he'd like, since so many saw you save the village. That, and with certain 'rumors' that have suddenly cropped up about the acting Rokudaime, he shouldn't be in power long."

"So, getting me back as soon as possible is, like, damage control?"

"Exactly. Not to mention it will strengthen Tsunade-sama's position to have the hero of the village backing her." Kakashi gave him a heart-warming smile, "I'm real proud of you, Naruto. I wish I could have seen it."

"Why couldn't you have?" Armstrong asked, "Were you not in the village, defending it from this foe?"

"I was there, but by the time Naruto arrived, I had been defeated."

Ed scoffed, "What, is there some rule that says the defeated can't stick around and watch?"

Naruto rounded on the other blond teen, angry that he could make light of the horrors of battle like that. _Doesn't he get it? _He fumed, ready to verbally rip into him. Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder again, stopping him. "It was war." Kakashi simply said.

Scar sharply looked at him, "You were one of the fallen. One of the ones brought back."

"You were dead?" May yelped, ducking behind Al as Naruto scowled at her.

"That was what young Naruto meant by 'bringing back the dead.' This Nagato resurrected the victims of war?"

Kakashi nodded, "Basically, yes. All of our casualties were brought back. The medical nin are still working around the clock to deal with those that were hurt."

"You...You can't bring people back from the dead!" Ed snarled, "It's against the rules of Alchemy!"

Kakashi blinked, "I'm not sure what Alchemy is, but I assure you, I was quite dead. I had a very interesting conversation with my father, in fact."

Naruto grinned, "Did you punch your old man, too?" before he went to punch his sensei, who easily blocked the blow.

"What was that for?" The man asked, still trying to process Naruto's cryptic remark.

"For not telling me my _Dad_ was your old teacher and my idol, the Yondaime Hokage! HOW could you not TELL me something like that?" Naruto pouted, "You guys all have a LOT of explaining to do back home, you know."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Blah blah blah, ususal author shit here. Ok, kidding. Multi-tasking. Um.**_

_**This chapter is late-ish because, well, frankly, I spent last week sick as a dog. So I went to work, came home, and passed out. I feel much better now, even though I had to go see the doctor twice (the first guy was an ASS and totally wrong). So if I never got back to your review, that would be why.**_

_**I've had a few people ask about how many chapters are left, or express the desire to see more, you know who you guys are. So, after a chat with one in particular where I laid out some of the original ideas I had, I (and by 'I' I mean 'we') found that with a little bit of (ick) effort on my part, I could re-incorporate a bunch of the ones I thought I'd have to jettison. So. YAY!**_

_**I hope.**_

_**This chapter isn't quite as long as I'd like, but I seriously tried! The next chapter is in the works, but with the holidays coming up...I'll get it up as soon as possible.**_

_**"Thanks and thanks again!" to all my readers, reviewers, favers, alerters, and C2ers, as usual. (I do want to know why the heck people would bother to read this whole thing only to review with 'this is crap!' or the like. Seriously people, if you don't like it, DON'T read it. You just waste your time, and mine. Not to mention it's insulting to all the people who DO enjoy the story. Luckily most people seem to be smart enough to stop reading if they don't like something, so I don't get many of these reviews.)**_

_**Question of the chapter: What's the most obscure anime you've watched? Mine would be...Ginga: Nagareboshi Gin and Ginga Densetsu Weed because I live in the USA, and no one seems to know them here.**_

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_Time Skip_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

Naruto sighed; all this talk about circles, the Earth's energy, and 'equivalent exchange' was giving him a headache. It was like being back in the academy all over again, only worse, because there wasn't anyone he could sneak out and goof off with.

It was times like this he missed Kiba.

He sighed, glancing at Kakashi as the jounin went over the charts again with the group at the table. May, Marcoh, Ed, and Roy were trying to explain about the differences between Alchemy and Alkahestry, which, as far as the blond was concerned, were the same thing, basically. It was like arguing that a water clone wasn't the same thing as a sand clone because they used different elements. The result was the same, right? Wisely, he kept the thought to himself.

Naruto rolled his eyes; it figured Kakashi would know all about stuff like that. Idly, he flipped though the book in front of him, only half paying attention. "I see, so if you draw a line here and here, you get this...but this way you get nothing, right?" Kakashi mused, "This diagram looks a lot like a seal we use to store things, and the pattern of this one reminds me of an explosive tag's seal. I wonder if it is possible to combine them?"

Something caught his attention, "Hey, what's this?"

"Hmm? Oh, that? You idiot, that's got nothing to do with anything we're talking about," scoffed Ed. "_That _is a map of Amestris and the surrounding countries."

"Oh. Well, I thought it might be a weird seal or circle, whatever. It's not like I can read these stupid squiggles." He pouted, "It's weird that your country is so... round, isn't it? I mean, other than this little spot here, you've got a complete circle. That doesn't seem normal to me," he mused, running his finger along the country's border over and over again, as if by repetition he'd make his point.

"Yeah, well, that asshole 'Father' helped create this country for one reason and one reason only: to make a big philosopher's stone." Ed spat, "So of course our country resembles a circle, that's what it was up until a few years ago. Since we've defeated Father, there's no need to worry about some megalomaniac turning everyone here into fodder, so it's not a big deal anymore. We still have some issues at the borders with some of our neighbors, though."

"That, I understand. The Land of Fire used to not get along with the Land of Wind, and we still don't get along with Lightning. Most of the countries right on our borders are our allies, or at least know by now it's better not to mess with us."

"Can you demonstrate how this alchemy works again, please? Both with and without the circle," Kakashi requested, ignoring the two teens.

Roy huffed, becoming annoyed with the silver haired man, "Why? I've already shown you this."

"Because I haven't looked with this eye," He pointed to his covered eye, and Naruto perked up, grinning. If there was anything to this alchemy trick, Kakashi's sharingan would be able to see it. Roy shrugged and sketched a quick circle on a scrap piece of paper. He then tossed on a stick and looked at Kakashi with a raised eyebrow. The smug look was quickly wiped from his face as the jounin pulled his hitai-ate up, revealing the red tomoe'd eye.

"That can't be normal," muttered Marcoh as he studied the eye.

Kakashi just shrugged. "A gift from a friend, as it were," he explained, "With this sharingan, I am able to copy any technique, learning its secrets. So, let's see what it can tell me about Alchemy, hmm?" Roy rolled his eyes and put his hands to the diagram, causing the stick to reform into a simple wooden doll. Looking at Kakashi to make sure he was watching, he brought his hands together before reaching for another stick, turning it into a doll as well. Naruto noticed he now had a nice little collection going. Kakashi pulled the paper over in front of him, "I see how you're doing it, but..." he placed a stick on the page and touched the circle with no results, not even a flicker of blue. "I can't duplicate it." He looked over at his suddenly crestfallen student, "It looks like it's going to be a little harder to get you home than I thought."

"What about that other one, Alkes-whatever?" whined the blond. "Try that one?" With a shrug, May obliged, creating a slightly different looking doll. However, Kakashi was once again unable to reproduce the results. "Damn."

"Hey, I wonder," Ed slowly turned a doll over in his hand, "maybe Kakashi doesn't have a Gate. I thought that old Truth was saying just_you_didn't have a gate, but maybe none of you shinobi do?" He looked at the two pensively, "That's the only thing I can think of. This chakra thing seems to take the place of your Gate, and without a Gate…"

"You can't do Alchemy!" Al put in, sounding excited, though Naruto couldn't figure out why the only normal guy seemed so happy about the bad news, since Alchemy was apparently needed to get him home. "Brother! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You betcha, Al," The teen grinned before smirking at Kakashi. "Teach me."

Naruto shouted, "Oh, _HELL _no. We're going home!"

The door banged open, causing Naruto to jump as Kakashi drew a kunai and spun to face the unexpected guest. The young shinobi sighed as he had a flash of deja-vu. Framed by the (ridiculously large now that he thought about it) door frame stood four armed men wearing what he'd come to realize was the military uniform for these people. Two of them had guns trained on Kakashi, while two had him in their sights. Calmly, like he walked into a room held hostage by armed men every day, a man with a receding hairline and glasses strolled in. The guy had a really skeevy-smile, like he was totally expecting to see them there, and they'd fallen for his elaborate plot. Actually, Naruto wouldn't have been surprised if he had rubbed his hands together and twirled his handlebar mustache. It wasn't completely lost on him that all the people in the room other than Kakashi, May and himself snapped to attention and saluted, though he just settled further into the couch and rolled his eyes. _Something tells me he DOES walk into rooms like this a lot._

"F...Fuhrer Grumman! I wasn't expecting to see you till, well, next month!" Mustang paled, "To what do I owe this honor?"

"Now, now, Mustang, my friend, relax! No need to be so formal!" The man grinned, slightly less creepily this time, " I heard word of some," his eyes found Naruto and got steely for a second, "uninvited guests, and given what happened last week at Briggs, I thought I'd stop in and check up on things. Can't be too careful."

_**_*&*&*_POV ROY_*&*&*_**_

Ed perked up, looking between the older man and Mustang, who was just as confused as the blond. "Briggs? What happened there?"

Smacking Naruto so he'd put his feet back on the floor where there belonged and off the desk, Roy eyed his superior warily, "Who told you about our guests, Grumman?"

"Oh, you know, a man like me, I hear things. All sorts of interesting rumors come to me, like this giant rabbit-dog monster you had visit." Kakashi quickly slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth.

"It's a fox." Mustang strove to remain calm, _like being attacked by a giant fox monster is an everyday thing... _he wasn't amused that he had had a leak, but honestly, he wasn't that surprised by the fact. "What, exactly, does a gigantic fox showing up here, at Eastern Headquarters, have to do with the goings on at Briggs, all the way up North?"

The old man laughed, still looking at the two shinobi in a calculating manner. "Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Really, I don't know what our enemies might be planning." He smiled at May, "Ah! Hello there, princess! I was not aware that your envoy had arrived in this country already."

May bobbed her head, "Yes, sir, we arrived a few days ago, and Ling decided to offer our assistance in matters here before continuing on to Central. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, not at all!" The Fuhrer turned his attention back to Roy, "Actually, I'm glad to see you all here, even if there seems to have been trouble. I take it it's all under control?"

"Yes, sir."

Once again the man studied Kakashi and Naruto, lingering over the younger's less than stellar appearance, "Are these two trustworthy?"

Mustang thought quickly. He still didn't really trust either of them, but he had to acknowledge that their stories matched up, even if they did seem far-fetched. Plus, he had what Ed overheard at the gate. Given that, it was unlikely that the 'attack' had been deliberate. At least, not on Naruto's part. Grumman was watching him, waiting for an answer. He belatedly realized that the soldiers still had the two in their sights, guns drawn. He sighed, _Great. If this comes back and bites me in the ass, I'm going to KILL Ed. _For now, he had to trust his former subordinate's judgment. "Reasonably, sir. They're visiting from another land, researching the best way home."

It was obvious Grumman didn't buy that for a moment, but he waved to his men, who holstered their weapons. "I see. Well then." He became serious, "Briggs was attacked about a week ago by unknown forces." The man glared openly at the two shinobi, "An attack that coincidentally coincided with your little...fox... trouble. The Drachmanian government claims no knowledge of the event, however. They are claiming that they've been framed. Olivier's men were able to repel the attack, with very little damage to the fort. There were injuries, I'm told, but no loss of life as of yet. We don't want another repeat of the Homunculus incident two years ago."

"Attacked how?"

Kakashi stood, tapping Naruto on the shoulder, "Come on, I'm sure they want to discuss this without prying ears. Let's get you something to eat." He calmly led his student out of the room, ignoring the stony silence that followed them. Roy wasn't fooled for a moment; he knew that they'd have one of those 'clones' right outside the room listening in. He stopped himself from rolling his eyes; there was nothing he could really do about it now.

"Sir? How were they attacked?" He pressed.

"It seems they were attacked by some strange form of Alchemy. The details are a little rough in the preliminary reports, but it sounds like they were attacked by creatures very similar to those things you found below Central. On top of that, mid-way through the attack, a large black hole opened in the air before closing again. The Major General suspects that it was a failed attempt of some sort, possibly a new weapon. Regardless, after the hole closed the enemy almost immediately withdrew."

Mustang did NOT like the sound of that. Not one bit. _The 'black hole' could have been an attempt to reach the Gate. Wait. Didn't Havoc say that the giant fox came out of a black hole? Are there more like him, or did that bastard Truth actually do us a favor ?_He mentally snorted, _More like Naruto a favor. Olivier would have killed him a thousand different ways before he could even blink. _"Do we have any photos of the attack? Particularly this failed alchemy?"

"Ohh, you've got something, don't you, Mustang? Well, I'm sure you'll tell me, eventually." The Fuhrer nodded to one of the men with him, who presented Roy with a thick file. "This is all preliminary, of course. See what you can make of it, hmmm? Meanwhile, I've heard that you have an excellent cooking staff, have you not? Local Ishballans, if I'm not mistaken. I think I shall go try some of the Ishballan cuisine I've heard so much about." The man grinned, reminding Roy once again of how formidable was. "We'll discuss this later. Over chess." He called, leaving the room's occupants to pore over the data, all thoughts of shinobi from another world temporarily pushed from their minds.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Kitsune Here! I hope everyone had a good holiday, or is having a good holiday. I basically did this chapter two or three days before Christmas, and finished it today. The next chapter is started as well. The last Naruto chapter was awesome, it made me want to write more, though I can't really use anything we learned in this story. I'm sorry to say that updates may slow down, Life is still kicking my ass around the block and I'm backlogged with a lot of things I should do. But, I will work on this story as much as I am able. Winter just sucks.**_

_**"Thanks and Thanks again" to all my readers, reviewers, favers, and C2ers. Some of you guys have awesome names, by the way. Lots of cookies to you all!**_

_**Random question of the chapter: "What's your favorite non-anime show?" Mine is...wait a second, I know I have one...*thinks about it.* Er. Bones and Criminal Minds for live action, and right now, Young Justice for animated.**_

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV Naruto_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

Naruto watched Kakashi's face closely as he ate his meal. He wasn't particularly fond of the flat bread, but the spicy filling was very tasty. He knew his sensei had a plan, but it was very much like the man to keep the blond in the dark for as long as possible. He guessed it had something to do with 'protecting' him. Usually he found the trait just plain annoying, but now, after talking with his father, he guessed it was also kinda nice. It was Kakashi's way of showing he really cared, after all. Well, that and giving him porno books.

He felt that maybe Sakura was right; he was doomed to become a pervert.

"So, how's your meal, Naruto?" The man calmly turned the page in his book, his meal untouched.

"Fine, Kakashi-sensei. Are you going to eat that?" The man smiled, causing Naruto to sweat-drop. _I guess he's not going to fall for the old 'buy sensei food to see his face trick' still... _"Didn't think so. More for me, then." He helped himself to the spicy dish as a familiar set of new faces came into the spacious cafeteria. As the group oh-so-casually made their way over to them, he hissed, "You could have warned me, you know."

Kakashi just continued to smile, placing a glass of water in front of Naruto with a light thunk, "Watch out, it's spicy."

"GEE thanks, Kakashi-sensei. Really. I mean it." He promised himself that he'd tell Hawkeye that Kakashi was the one who got him his first 'Come Come Paradise' book as revenge.

"Oh? Why, hello there!" The creepy man from earlier pretended to notice them sitting there. "Would you mind terribly if I joined you?"

Naruto almost growled at the man; he was being so transparent, it was pissing him off. "Ye-UMPH!" he turned his glare at the silver haired man who was pretending he hadn't just kicked him. "YEAH," He grumbled, "We'd just _LOVE _for you to join us, mister." The invitation was moot, however, as the man was already sitting.

"Why, thank you. Albert, if you could please bring me a plate? I'd like to try a little of everything, if you don't mind." All three watched as the man briskly strode up to the counter and started to talk with the staff. Naruto wasn't sure what bothered him more, the fact the man had so quickly followed orders, almost before they were given, or the fact that the other three had settled in at a distance as unobtrusive guards. He was reasonably sure that this old weird guy was the Daimyo—_ no, that's not what they called it…_ of this land. Why would he need guards in one of his own bases? "I hear you're visiting us from another country, hmm?"

"Yes, my student and I are on a journey to learn more about Alchemy, and we had heard that this nation was the place to come. You see, Alchemy is relatively unheard of back home."

"Ah, is that so? Is your interest purely academic, or practical?"

"Academic."

"Perhaps you'd like to stop by Central then. Our capital has an extensive library, and there are many state Alchemists living there." The man took his plate from the soldier and began to eat, "This is surprisingly delicious, isn't it?"

"Thanks for the suggestion, but I think we'll be fine here for a while. Mustang has been really helpful, after all."

"Yes, he's very good at what he does. But, I insist! In fact, you can be my guests!" The man smiled, "But I haven't properly introduced myself, have I? I am Fuhrer Grumman. I happen to be a very influential man in this nation. Being my guest could open doors for you, as it were."

Naruto snorted, drawing attention to himself. "Yeah, I bet you're influential. So that's what you guys call your leader here, Fuhrer? What a lame name!" He ignored Kakashi's warning glare, "Listen, jerk, there's only one door I want opened, so unless you..."

"Naruto, that's enough."

"But, Kakashi-sensei...!"

Grumman raised an eyebrow, "What door could you be talking about, I wonder?"

"The back door to the adult store in our home town," Kakashi put in smoothly, "Naruto here is a bit of a pervert, you know."

"WHAT! I'm not a perv, you're the one who reads those stupid books all the time!"

"Really?" the Fuhrer laughed before changing the topic, "So, when did you arrive? I was wondering if you had happened to see this Ra...I mean fox monster that appeared around a week ago?"

The silver haired jounin just shrugged, "Sorry, I don't know anything about it. I saw the damage, though. It looked quite impressive. From what I've heard no one was seriously hurt, right?"

"Yes, people were very lucky. It's interesting, however," The man said, smile becoming hard again, all amusement fading from his voice, "There is a rumor of the monster turning into a blond youth in an orange and black outfit." He glanced at Naruto out of the corner of his eye, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"Orange and black, huh?" Naruto felt his stomach bottom out as he laughed nervously, "Wow, someone has good taste. It's almost as cool as orange and blue, right, Kakashi-sensei?"

"So, Naruto, was it? When did you arrive again?"

"Eh, it's all been such a blur, right? It's just been so much...fun, yeah, fun!"

"Well, I don't know if I'd call being locked in a small room and interrogated by Scar and Mustang fun, but I can see how it would be a bit of a blur to you." Naruto gulped at Grumman's words. He didn't fail to notice the guards slowly drawing their weapons again, though his eyes were on the man in front of him, taking in the stone cold look. "Tell me, how come you're no longer restrained?"

"Eh...Gotta go, bye!" The blond leapt up, attempting to bolt from the room. The BAM! of the gun was defining in the small room, setting the kitchen staff screaming as a burning pain lanced his shoulder, sending him stumbling. He felt the Kyuubi suddenly rush to full alertness, crying for the death of the fools who dared to challenge HIS host as the malignant energy bubbled out of him.

"Naruto, calm down!" Kakashi ordered causing Naruto to whip his head around_. __Kakashi-sensei! He was right there, is he ok?_ He blinked in relief as he saw his teacher standing behind Grumman, a kunai at his neck. The soldiers seemed to be torn on whom to point their guns at: Kakashi was threatening their leader, but Naruto was sure he looked pretty evil at the moment, crouched on the floor the way he was.

**"Tell them to put away their weapons first."**

"Let go of the Fuhrer!" One of the men growled out, "And then we'll think about lowering our guns."

Kakashi smiled, totally calm, "Sorry, I think our jinchuuriki trumps your guns. Lower your weapons."

"Jinchuuriki, humm?" Grumman grinned, slightly manic, "That's interesting! What exactly is a jinchuuriki, I wonder." The man seemed to be totally unfazed by the situation. "I take it that would be the correct term for Naruto here? Tell me, boy, if this goes on, will you turn back into a giant fox?"

Naruto startled, unnerved by the man's calm reaction to everything, even as the chakra boiled around him, forming a tail as the fox took advantage of his surprise,**"YES."**

"I see. Well, that would be a very bad thing, don't you think? After all, we're inside." The man chuckled, "I can see why you made my subordinate so nervous, lad. Lower your guns, men." When the men hesitated he continued, "If these two wanted me dead, I'm sure I'd be dead already."

As soon as the men put away their guns, Kakashi put away the kunai and calmly walked over to Naruto. He said nothing, just raised his visible eyebrow. Naruto knew what he was asking, however. _'Do you need a hand?' _He shook his head and PUSHED hard against the fox, beating it back inch by inch as the beast snarled about ungrateful curs who didn't know how to defend themselves. In moments he was back to normal, rotating his now healed shoulder and glaring at them.

"Fascinating." The Fuhrer settled back down. "Let's try this again, shall we?" he asked as he gestured for them to return to their seats. "Why exactly are you here?"

Kakashi shrugged, "Oh, for this and that. Find out about Alchemy, look for new adult books, find a way home. Take your pick; it's really all the same to me." Naruto felt his teacher's hand on his shoulder and turned to look at him, "Now if you'll excuse us, I need to see a dog about a woman." The older shinobi nodded at Grumman before calmly sauntering out of the room.

Naruto started to follow and paused. He turned towards the kitchen, where he could feel the staff's eyes on him and waved, "Sorry about that!" He called before he trotted after Kakashi.

_**_*&*&*_POV ROY_*&*&*_**_

Roy knew he was going to lose the game. He'd expected it, though. Really, his mind was only half on the game in the first place. He was too busy thinking about his old friend's request that _HE _personally go to Briggs and offer his assistance. He wanted to say no, but it was hard to do that when his team was the only group with any insight into what might have actually happened there_. __And then there are the reports of things going missing... _Roy mused_, __Last time, it turned out to be Ed's teacher, but we called her, she's at home. So looks like the Briggs has a vermin problem. _His stomach rolled when he thought about what kind of vermin it could be.

Grumman moved his bishop, taking Roy's poorly placed queen, "So what do you think, Mustang?"

"I think I'm going to lose in record time." He sighed, "I see your point, but I have a bit of a situation here as well."

"Ah yes, those two 'visitors,' if I'm not mistaken. Very interesting pair, you know." He moved his rook, "Looks like you were right. Check."

"Dammit!" Mustang quickly moved his king, "Interesting isn't the word I would use. Not even close. It's not like I can leave them here, you know. If I go, that means Hawkeye'll insist on coming. I could probably get away with leaving Armstrong in charge for a while, which would prevent some problems until the Elric brothers decided to sneak off after us with him in tow. Who would watch those two then? And don't tell me to send them on to Central. That would be a disaster!"

"Well then, the only solution is to take them all with you. Who knows, maybe these new elements might be helpful." The Fuhrer moved a pawn, "Check and mate, my friend."


	23. Chapter 23

_**Kitsune here with the next chapter. You know, a lot actually happens in this one, even if it doesn't seem like it. I think it's my longest chapter to boot. Next one is planned. Anyway, I've got nothing else to say on the matter.**_

_**"Thanks and Thanks again!" to my favers, reviewers, alerters, and c2ers. Lots of cookies to you all!**_

_**This chapter's question, "What's your favorite NON anime movie?" I have quite a few. Princess Bride, Hellboy, True Lies, Lion King...the list goes on and on.**_

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><p>Lazy clapping could be heard from the window. Roy sighed, not even bothering to look even as his companion jumped. "How long have you two been there?"<p>

"Long enough," Kakashi shrugged as he stepped into the room. Mustang was pretty sure there wasn't a ledge outside that window—best not to think about it, he decided as Naruto's head popped up at an odd angle.

"Were you applauding the idea or the game?"

"Both, actually." Kakashi strolled over, "Fascinating game." He eyed the board with a calculating stare for a moment before continuing, "Tsunade, my boss, has told me to offer our full assistance. In return, all we ask is assistance with the Alchemy needed to get us home. Sound fair?"

"And why should I agree to that?" Roy snapped, "For all I know, this is some elaborate plot you came up with!" Grumman was strangely quiet as he watched the scene unfold. The flame alchemist vaguely felt like his was acting out a play the Fuhrer had written, and he was watching him from the front row. Mustang remembered that feeling, and he hated it. _If only I was half as good as the old coot..._

"Possible," the other man admitted, "But unlikely. It's more likely that whoever attacked this Briggs place is the same one who somehow managed to pull Naruto to this world. After talking with Naruto about what that strange person said, I doubt that this was Nagato's plan at all." Kakashi looked serious, "In short, you have a problem."

"And what do you think of all this?" Mustang asked Naruto, who was sitting on the windowsill.

The blond shrugged. "I don't like it," he stated, "But Kakashi-sensei's right, the whole thing stinks like sour milk. Someone over there is responsible for bringing me here, and as much as I really DON'T like you, I'm willing to ignore that to get the chance to beat the shit of out them."

"How very big of you, my boy!" Grumman put in, a grin on his face, "There you have it, Brigadier General, they've volunteered their help. I'm sure it won't take much to get the Elric's to go along. As you pointed out, it might be harder to get them to stay. So. You have your orders." The Fuhrer stood, Mustang reluctantly following suit and saluting, "Get your gear together and get going. Time is of the essence."

He gave the only answer he really could as the man left the room, probably to inform the others of the trip. "Yes, Sir!" He turned his glare at the two others in the room. Roy felt a migraine coming on at the thought of having to take them along.

"He's good," Kakashi looked up from the chessboard, "I can see why he's in charge. So, when are we leaving?"

"I would assume by the end of the day. Let me make myself clear, however. I don't like you, and I sure as hell don't trust you. But, we'll teach you what we can, if for no other reason than to get rid of that brat..." Mustang ground his teeth as he spotted Naruto out of the corner of his eye. The blond was rummaging though his desk drawers, drawers he was sure he had locked. "...Which couldn't be too soon. You, in exchange, are going to teach Edward and Alphonse what you can of chakra. YOU! Get out of that drawer!"

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses, Ash-hole. Just getting my books. AH! Here they are!" The blond held the two well-loved books up, grinning happily. "Can't go anywhere without my, what was it again? Oh yeah, 'mission plans' or some such bullshit. Ok, Kakashi-sensei, I'm ready to go."

_**_*&*&*_Time Skip_*&*&*_**_

It had taken a remarkably short amount of time to get ready. Actually, no time at all, since Hawkeye had barged into the room only a short while later (catching Naruto dancing with his adult novel in hand) to tell him that Ed, Al, and Alex were all waiting for them at the front gate, packed and ready. Ed had even gotten his automail swapped out for the trip already. When he'd gone to protest, Hawkeye just glared at him and said his bags were also ready, and were with Alex. Apparently she'd packed his stuff after she'd gotten her things together. Now he just had to ignore Naruto's little love songs about the two of them. "Would you shut up? You've been annoying the hell out of me since we arrived at the train station. Keep it up, and I'm going to kill you."

"HA! Like you could, lover-boy." The blond grinned, not even looking at him. Instead he looked at the train with a mixture of trepidation and excitement.

"Naruto, if you don't stop, I will shoot you right now. Is that understood?" When Naruto went to laugh, Hawkeye backed up her threat by pulling her weapon on him as Ed and Al got out of the line of fire. _Smart boys_. It was a testament to how well the people at the train station knew most of the members of their group that no one acted as if this was odd.

"Hehe... Oh yeah! Ms. Hawkeye, have you met Kakashi-sensei?" A wicked glint shone in the blue eyes, "He's been my sensei since I was twelve. I've learned so much from him! In fact, he introduced me to the "Come Come" series back when I was a kid." The blond just grinned as all the color drained out from Kakashi's face.

Riza immediately swung her gun around to point at the silver haired man. "Is that true?"

"Well, technically, yes. BUT! I was just reading it and it's not..."

"YOU READ IT TO HIM?" The safety clicked off.

"NO!" The man waved his hands, looking truly afraid, "Calm down! I'm not bullet-proof, right?" He looked at his student who was just laughing, "Tell her, Naruto! I never read "Come Come" to you out loud! I just read it while teaching you guys!"

Roy couldn't help asking, "What?"

"Oh, he'd give us a task and then sit back and read his perv-books."

"SEE? I never read them out loud to them. It's not my fault if Naruto was stupid enough to read it out loud over my shoulder one day, is it?"

"You read it out loud? What were you thinking? Didn't you know what it was?" Ed laughed.

"Sasuke, Sakura, and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about." The other blond pouted, "Ok, so it was mostly me, but still. I was curious. Besides, that was only after Kakashi had me pick up the next volume at the bookstore for him, you know?"

Hawkeye didn't take this revelation well, "You had a twelve year old pick up a pornographic novel for you?"

"Actually, he was twelve and a half at the time." Kakashi said, only to gulp, "A very mature twelve and a half!"

Hawkeye looked over to where the boys stood, all three laughing now, and raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Er. Please don't shoot me?" Kakashi sweat-dropped, "Cut me some slack, ok? His godfather writes a really good story!" _Godfather? Wait, didn't he say his 'Master' wrote them?_ "And it's not like I taught him that technique, Sexy-jutsu. He knew that BEFORE he met me. I've got NO CLUE where he picked that one up."

All eyes turned to Naruto, who just shrugged, "Home-made when I was eight." He raised his hands up, "Long story, involving a lot of booze and adult TV. I really don't want to talk about it." There was a moment of awkward silence as Hawkeye put away her gun. It occurred to him that maybe Naruto's past was not as simple as he had thought. He should know very well what kind of pain a cocky smile could hide. "So, are we really going to ride a train?"

Roy laughed at his expression, "What, did you expect us to run the whole way?"

"Well, yeah, actually. I kinda did."

Ed gaped at them, "You're nuts! That would take _forever_, you know!"

"At the speed we could go, it would be about a week." Kakashi put in as he opened his book back up.

"You shinobi have obviously trained your bodies to the height of physical perfection to manage such a feat!"

Naruto grinned at Armstrong, "Yeah, we're awesome. So, about this train thing? Is it safe?"

"You've never been on a train before?" Hawkeye sounded as shocked as he was. He couldn't imagine traveling any great distance without the use of trains.

Blue eyes rolled in an exaggerated manner, "Well, duh. I mean, it's not like there was a train station at the hidden village, you know? Besides, train-fare is expensive."

The boarding call went out and they all quickly gathered their bags and climbed on board as Kakashi elaborated, "Not to mention that as shinobi we rarely need to go anywhere a train could take us. Though I'm surprised, I would have thought Jiraiya rode the train."

"Ero-sennin? Nah, too expensive. He'd rather spend his money in the clubs. Of course, if you had asked him, he would have said something about it being good training for me or something. Broke bastard." His face lit up, "I call window!"

"Fine, fine. Just no climbing out of the window just yet, alright?"

Alphonse chuckled nervously, "But, he wouldn't really do that, right, Naruto?"

"Huh? Of course I would! I can't wait to try training on a train that's moving! Kakashi-sensei, can I please?"

The man laughed, "See, I know my number one knuckle-headed student. Maybe later, let the train get out of town first at least."

_**_*&*&*_POV NARUTO_*&*&*_**_

It had taken a lot of talk to convince the idiot Mustang that they knew what they were doing. In the end, Roy had grudgingly allowed them to 'tempt fate on a speeding train,' as he put it. As long as Kakashi took the opportunity to start teaching the other blonds about chakra control. Which was how Naruto found himself battling his own clone on the top of a speeding roof while Kakashi was the next car over explaining what he was doing to the two teens. He had kind of been hoping to spar with his sensei, but he had to admit, this worked better. The two brothers seemed to be fast learners, and the pointers they shouted out periodically weren't completely useless.

"Knock him off balance! The speed of the train should do the rest!" Alphonse called, "So, you can use chakra to stick to things then, like the train? That explains how Naruto-kun ran up a wall. What..."

_The down side of them shouting out advice is the clone can hear them, too... _Naruto mused as his clone kicked his feet out from under him, sending him skidding and bouncing along the roof of the car into open space. "CRAP!" The two Naruto's shouted, quickly forming a few more clones to grab the original and toss him back onto the roof before dispelling. "That would have hurt."

"And you would have fallen behind, Naruto." Kakashi lazily pointed out, waving at Naruto to take a break. "It's possible to walk on water, yes. Not air. Training in these techniques improves chakra control, making it easier to do more advanced techniques."

"Like what, other than fighting?" Ed was taking notes, reminding Naruto of Sai a bit.

"You can use chakra for all sorts of things," Naruto put in as he joined them, "Healing, for one. Oh! You can use it to help make things, like the potter down the road from my apartment. Um... Special effects in movies, too?"

Ed glared at him, "Your examples suck."

"Yeah, well, I'm a shinobi, alright?" Naruto growled back, "I never paid attention in the academy when they explained the other uses, you jerk."

"How could not pay attention to that?" Al wondered, "It seems important."

"Because Naruto here knew he was going to be a ninja," Kakashi interrupted before a full scale argument could ensue, "He'd picked his path before going into the academy, so he would have only gone to a few of the classes on chakra manipulation for civilians. After the first year, kunoichi are the only ones required to attend."

"Why?"

"Well," Naruto said, "It has something to do with the idea that they're better suited for infiltration missions." He shrugged, "I don't get it though. Sakura and Ino, well, they'd be horrible at it. Sakura uses her chakra to increase her physical strength and to heal others, by the way. Her punches are like WOW!" he threw up his hands, "She could totally kill you if they connect. But, then she could fix you right up."

"Naruto here happens to be her favorite punching bag." Kakashi laughed, "I used to think, 'why did I get saddled with such an odd team?' But, you've grown up into a fine shinobi, Naruto." Naruto grinned, feeling very warm and happy with the compliment as Kakashi continued the lesson. He decided that maybe helping these two was better than training. After all, Konohamaru had been fun to teach.

_**_*&*&*_Time Skip_*&*&*_**_

In the end, it took three days for them to reach the train station nearest Briggs. The roof-top lessons had to be moved into the train itself; it was really much too cold. Of course, getting caught having a mock battle on the top of the train at one of the stops might have something to do with it. Naruto had thought it very funny when Roy stood on the train platform yelling at them to knock it off before they broke the train. A few dents didn't seem like that big of a deal to him, after all.

Apparently, there had been a blizzard just the other day, and the roads had not been cleared, so the cars that had originally been sent were no use. So, the last leg of their journey had to be completed by truck. An old, recycled army vehicle that was older than he was, actually. The thing groaned and complained loudly when Roy started it, and promptly had gotten stuck in the new snow. It had taken an hour for everyone to dig out the truck the first time, only to have it get stuck within sight of the last hole. Next, they'd landed in a ditch. Really, the only good thing was the heater worked, because it was freezing.

So, when they'd finally come across the impressive fortress known as Briggs, Naruto's reaction was not one of awe (not that it would have been anyway, he'd seen better) but one of cranky relief. They were hours late, and he was starving and freezing, a litany he had subjected everyone to for the last hour. At that moment, he wouldn't have cared if their destination was a little hole in the ground, as long as it meant that they were _there_.

"I vote charcoal breath is never, ever allowed to drive again." Naruto grumbled while they waited at the gates to be let in, "A toad could probably drive better."

"Well, why don't you call one and have it try then, brat?" Roy sighed, obviously getting annoyed.

Naruto looked at him in shock, "What? Are you nuts? It's freezing out here! Toads don't do cold, man." He shuddered, "Anyone I called would become a toad Popsicle in under a minute. I wouldn't do that to them."

"Then would you shut up?"

"Yes, why don't you just shut up, little boy. You've only been here for five minutes, and you are already giving me a headache." Naruto froze; he hadn't felt anyone approach. Turning slowly he saw a woman with long blond hair, blue eyes and full lips ._Actually, she is quite attractive, _he noticed, e_xcept for the whole 'shut it or I'll kill you' vibe._

He smiled nervously at her, noticing the sword at her hip, "Shutting up now."

"Mustang, you're late. These idiots the 'help' you said you'd bring?"

"Obviously."

She smiled cruelly at Kakashi and Naruto, "I'm Olivier Armstrong, maggots. Welcome to Briggs."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Kitsune here with the latest chapter. First, I would like to apologize to all my readers for the wait. I wanted to get this one done, and the next one started before posting, and I suffered from the inability to write for about two weeks. Not exactly writer's block...but I'm sure some of you have had this experience. So. Secondly, a BIG arigatō to my helper, The Last Anbu, and of course, my beta reader.**_

_**I haven't forgotten "Thanks and thanks again!" to all my lovely reviewers, favers, alerters, and c2ers. Seriously guys, it does mean a lot to me.**_

_**Now, since the last few chapters have had a little random question and my answer... I guess this chapter's is going to be "What is your favorite video game?" I have a few, but Kingdom Hearts, .hack/ and Jak II are my three top picks.**_

**_Speaking of games, I got no writing done the last few days, thanks to FFXIII. Oops. I'll have to do some writing tomorrow I hope. I also rescued a bat from my cats and dogs last night, and the same bat (got lose in my closed in porch...) today. I feel like a hero._**

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><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV ROY_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

Roy was once again forced to re-evaluate his opinion of Naruto. The teen was a hyperactive nut job with a death wish. He had to be; that was the only explanation for asking Olivier if he could call her "Grandma." Armstrong had been barely able to stop his sister from killing the blond, who had quickly been whisked away from the immediate danger zone by Ed and Al. Hawkeye, after a sigh, had gone after the boys to explain the finer points of insulting a lady. As for he and Kakashi, well, Roy knew better than to laugh at Olivier, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to laugh at the silver haired man's look of long-suffering annoyance.

Finally the one eyed man sighed. "The truly sad part," Kakashi said, pulling out his book, "Is that, coming from Naruto, that's a compliment." Noticing Olivier was contemplating killing him, he attempted to explain, "Naruto calls the leader of our village 'Tsunade-baa-chan,' or, basically, Granny-Tsunade."

"I don't care what he calls his grandma. He calls me that again and I'll toss his ass in a cell on bread and water rations." The woman snarled, "Civilians or not, I won't put up with such disrespect, even if you are here to help."

"Baa-chan isn't my real granny, you know." Roy's eye twitched as the voice came from above them. _I won't look. I don't want to know. I REALLY don't want to know..._ He pointedly ignored the copious dust drifting down from above. "I don't have any family, so she can't be my grandma, you see? Besides, she never had kids." He rubbed the bridge of his nose as the woman spun around, sword drawn, a look of confused fury on her face.

"HA! We caught you! That was a real sneaky trick, you bastard!" More dust, and other crap fell from above.

"Brother! That's no way to talk to someone who's agreed to help teach you..."

"Only because we've got something they want, Al!" Olivier slowly looked up, her usually stoic expression fading into one of shock. "Besides, it's exactly what you should call someone who gives you the slip like that."

"Mustang?"

Roy sighed, sharing a look with the unsurprised Kakashi and the grinning Alex, "Yes, Olivier?"

"Why is FullMetal on the ceiling?" She sounded surprisingly calm.

"Ask the new guys."

Luckily for the three men, they were saved from answering as Ed looked up. Or down, as it were. "Oh, hey guys! Pretty neat, huh?"

"A new form of alchemy, Edward?"

"Not exactly." The three blonds fell from the ceiling, each athletically flipping to their feet before they hit the floor. "Chakra, actually. It's complicated, but basically it's manipulating your own energies to do some really amazing stuff." Roy decided it was time to take over.

"These two gentlemen," He ignored Olivier's snort, instead nodding to Hawkeye who came trotting up, glaring at the boys, "Are masters at this 'chakra manipulation' Ed is talking about. They've agreed to help teach the Elric's as well as aid in the investigation here in exchange for some assistance."

"Assistance with what?"

"That's classified."

"Fine, then they can teach from their nice new cell."

"Not another cell!" Naruto whined, "You promised!"

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing at all, Olivier. The truth is kind of hard to believe, and I will explain it in full later, but for now let's just say they need... directions home."

"Why are things never simple when you get involved?" She muttered, though Roy caught the excited gleam in her eyes.

_**_*&*&*_POV Naruto_*&*&*_**_

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he and the two brothers were told in no uncertain terms to go away and stay out of trouble. Something about the meeting not being for kids... he hadn't been a kid for a long time, at least not in the way that woman had meant. Ed apparently didn't see the humor of the situation, however. He had a look on his face that promised pain for the next person to piss him off, which seemed to be Naruto at the moment. "What the hell is so funny?"

Naruto shrugged as he followed the two down the halls for the impromptu tour, "I'm just not used to people trying to protect me from stupid little shit like this. I mean, protect me from an evil organization that wants to kill everyone I know and destroy the world by taking the Kyuubi out of me in a horribly painful manner, yeah. But a meeting about some guy who's invaded a base, and a conversation of if I can be trusted? That's rookie-stuff. I haven't dealt with that since I was, oh, five?"

The two slightly older teens just looked at him for a second before Al spoke up, "You didn't have much of a childhood, did you?"

"Well, I'm a shinobi."

"What about when you were a kid? Didn't your parents try and...?" Ed started, only to stop awkwardly, apparently remembering Naruto was also an orphan.

Naruto just grinned, "Don't worry about it. Iruka-sensei was cool, even if everyone else in the village hated me growing up. He and the old man took me to get ramen sometimes. Still, they didn't shelter me; they couldn't, really. Kinda hard to shelter someone from everyone in the village, and being shinobi, we're taught at a young age to see the truth, I guess."

"I've been wondering, what exactly do they teach you at that academy you went to?" Al asked, taking the opportunity to change the topic, "You keep saying you're 'taught to be a shinobi' but how?"

"You know, shinobi stuff. Chakra control, taijutsu, genjutsu, ninjutsu. History and shit. Probably what you learned in whatever school you went to for alchemy."

The boys shook their heads, "We don't have any schools here to teach you to be an alchemist. You study it on your own." Al explained, "We were self taught, and then we found a teacher."

"And your government actually relies on this method?" Naruto couldn't believe his ears. This country seemed to depend on alchemy as both a fighting force and an economic strength. At least, that's what it sounded like when that jerk-wad Roy had been going on and on about it. To think they didn't have a school for it seemed, well, stupid. He shook his head, "Everyone goes to the Academy in our village. Even the civilians have a rank of genin, and you have to serve as a genin for at least a year before you're allowed to be a civilian. Iruka-sensei told me it used to be a longer term, but then it took longer for them to learn a trade-skill."

"That makes a lot of sense, I guess. Not only would your civilians know what to do in case of an invasion, you've also increased your overall fighting force if it's needed." Ed looked pensive, "But you're put on teams, right? What if one of the members decides to leave?"

"I think that they usually put civilian kids on the same teams so they can all leave together. Most of them go to some different classes, too. Doesn't always work that way, I guess, since Sakura-chan's family are not ninja... come to think of it, if she'd left after a year, it would have been a big problem, I guess." Naruto shrugged, "Anyway. In the academy, you just learn the basics, really. It's really boring, but the whole point is to get you proficient in what you need. Like, I had to take classes in math and science with everyone else, in case I became an explosives specialist or something."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't remember any of it, though." Naruto laughed at their expressions, "The stuff Kakashi-sensei is teaching you? If you were in a village, you wouldn't start learning that until you were a genin. Even then, most of it is only for genin planning on staying shinobi."

Al perked up, reminding Naruto for a moment of Konohamaru, "So what do you think of our skills then?"

"Not too bad. You've got chakra control down, at least." He sighed, "I don't really know what to teach you, since you said you didn't wanna use it to fight. I mean, other than substitution and henge, that is."

"Like how you turned into a girl and a rock?" Al asked, "Would you show us?"

"Well, yeah, I guess I can." Naruto grinned, sniffing the air, "I'll show you on the way to get some food!"

As the three wandered the halls in the vague direction of the cafeteria, Naruto ran though the hand signs of henge. While he was sure that nothing too bad could happen from the practice, he made the two brothers memorize the signs without using any chakra in them first. He would have been prouder of how fast they picked up the signs except for the fact that he knew they were geniuses._Before you know it, they're going to be doing their own techniques. Hmm, maybe if we stick around long enough, we'll swap some?_ "Anyway, now that you've gotten the hand signs down for the basic henge, it's really just a matter of figuring out how much chakra to use. Oh! And of course, you've got to really know what you're turning into."

"If you turn into a person, how could you mess that up?" Ed scoffed.

"Hmm, it's like when I turned into ash-face. You didn't notice I was a fake..."

"Except you didn't know who I was."

"Besides that, though. I studied him first. How he walked, the cocky look, his gloves...what hand he used." Naruto grinned, "Actually, this one time, my friend Sasuke caught a guy henged as me because he forgot to put his weapon pouch on the correct side. Little things like that can make or break your henge."

"I see." Al nodded as they rounded the corner, coming face to face with a man bundled up in winter gear carrying a bag. "Oh! Sorry about that, sir..."

Ed glared at the man, "Who the hell are you?"

"Brother!"

"What, Al? The base is under siege and we run into some strange dude wandering the halls. Sorry, mister, but I'm sure you understand under the circumstances..."

The man just stared down at them from behind dark shades. Naruto blinked, "Hey, is this guy one of those Ishballan people you keep telling me about? He's all tan and shit, right?"

"Ishballan..." Ed frowned for a moment before shifting into a battle ready stance, "INTRUDER!" he shouted.

The man took off, alarms sounding as people rolled out into the hall.

_**_*&*&*_POV ROY_*&*&*_**_

Roy couldn't believe his eyes. He'd been sure that the force interfering at Briggs would turn out to be a group of Dracmarian spies dabbling in alchemy in some form or another. He definitely wasn't expecting it to be one man. It was obvious that this guy had successfully infiltrated the fort more than once, judging by both his winter gear (part of him had to admire Olivier for knowing exactly what clothes had gone missing, and in what sizes) and the ease at which he raced though the halls. It was all Mustang could do to keep up with the man. It was possible that the man had help on the outside, but he didn't think so. The guy reminded him a bit of Scar, and it wasn't just the dark tan.

_Shit, I'm running out of time._ He recognized where he was now, they were almost to the roof, and once they got out there, it was all over. He had no clue where the others were, possibly still stuck down by the kitchen. That just left the flame alchemist to stop this guy. Roy knew if he failed, they wouldn't get another chance. This guy was too good, he'd vanish.

"STOP!" He hollered to no effect as they busted out onto the roof, "God damn it you bastard, I said STOP!" He snapped his fingers, sending a whip of fire after the man who aptly landed on the slightly raised ledge and grinned. "Don't even think about it! Get down from the ledge, slowly. Hands where I can see them."

Instead of complying the man crossed his arms, grousing, "What's with that fancy attack? I just needed a little snack."

"A snack? Is that what you call ten pounds of casserole? What about the other food that's gone missing from the larder?"

"Well, I guess that's quite a feat, but hey a man's gotta eat." With a cocky wave the man turned, obviously planning on taking the fast way down. Just as he was about to step into nothingness, a sharp kunai whistled pass his cheek. Roy kept his eyes on the guy as his head whipped around, glaring at Naruto, who had appeared out of nowhere. _If_ _the brat is here, the others can't be far behind._"Who the hell are you?"

"The name's Naruto Uzumaki!" The blond shouted, charging the stranger.

"Naruto! Get back!" Kakashi appeared in a swirl of leaves as the others barreled through what was left of the doorway. The blond teen quickly changed his direction, landing next to his teacher.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Two shinobi from the Leaf come to give me grief?" The stranger growled out, taking on a battle ready stance.

"Keep away from him, Naruto. The rest of you, too. You can't handle him." The man put up his hand, forestalling the protests.

Roy cut his eyes over to the silver haired shinobi, noticing that the man's red eye was revealed. "You know this guy?"

"More or less. I know of him, at least. Killer Bee, correct? The Raikage sent word that you had been killed by Sasuke Uchiha."

"Like that runt could defeat me. I just took the opportunity to flee. After all, A has no say when the Bijuu needs to get away."

Roy raised an eyebrow, "Bijuu?" He should have guessed that there would be more of these shinobi involved. That old coot practically said there was at least one more person like Naruto and Kakashi here. _How the hell does he do it!_

"Wait, what? This asshole is the reason Sasuke-teme is on the missing-nin list now? And he isn't even injured? WHAT THE FUCK, man! You totally screwed my best friend!"

"Your best friend wanted me to meet my end," pointed out Killer Bee.

"Time out. You can go back to wanting to kick his ass later, Naruto." Ed asked, warily eying this 'Killer Bee'. "Kakashi, are you saying he's the same as Naruto, then?"

"HEY! Don't compare me to a badly rapping old dude with no fashion!"

"If you think my rapping is poor, how about I show you the door?"


	25. Chapter 25

_**Kitsune here with the usual "Thanks and thanks again!" to all my readers, reviewers, faver's and C2ers! This chapter was really hard to write... Um... Eh, more to follow at the end.**_

_**Question of the chapter: If you had any super power, what would it be? I'd want to be able to shapeshift. And have controlled telepathy.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV Naruto_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

Naruto twitched, frustrated with the rapping. "Door, what door? There's only one door up here and you busted it, bastard!" Everyone else sweat-dropped.

"I don't think he meant that literally, Naruto," Kakashi sighed.

The man, Killer Bee, turned to Kakashi, dropping out of his rhymes, "He's not so bright, is he?"

"HEY!"

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that..." The blond felt a warm glow at his sensei's words, "He's just a little slower to pick things up, is all." Scratch that, he was annoyed with both of them now. "Back to the point at hand. Edward, you're correct, this man here is a jinchuuriki as well, but he's not from our village." The jounin turned his attention back to Bee, who was still braced for an attack. Kakashi smiled disarmingly, "Would you mind telling me how exactly you ended up here, Bee?"

The man paused, pulling out a little notebook and glaring at it before flicking it shut. "Jinchuuriki, number one, two, or three... or one higher than mine, could you be number nine?" He grinned, waving the hand that was not holding his loot in a shooing manner, "Little fox, run along before you get flattened by the Ox."

"GAH! I can't take it anymore, Kakashi-sensei! He's not going to tell us anything..."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the brat's right," Roy put in, "I say we beat it out of him."

"That's your answer for everything, Mustang!" Ed snapped.

"As this is MY base, I would think I would have the final say on what we do," Olivier growled, hand on her sword as she glared at Killer Bee. "YOU! Just who the hell do you think you are, you rapping buffoon! You dare break into MY Briggs and steal from me? We deal with intruders harshly here. Prepare yourself!"

"The word buffoon is like a harpoon in my heart, pretty lady, your security is a work of art!" The man rapped, "To pull any tricks, I had to be extra-slick, can you really blame a fella, when I arrived I found it was hella-cold, if I may be so bold."

Naruto blinked for a second, stunned. Pretty-lady? Is he...

"Cold or not, you are trespassing on my domain! As such, you will either answer our questions, or be put down like the dog you are. Don't you think for a moment I won't be able to do it."

"This motherfucka would never doubt ya." With a grin, the man stepped closer, causing everyone to tense up. Bee snorted, "You can stay at ease, I just hafta move before I freeze. If inside we go, I'll tell you what you want to know."

Kakashi warily stepped forward, "Why should we believe your sudden change of heart?"

"Kakashi the Copy-cat nin, or you just some stand-in? Never mind that now, you asked me if you can trust me, I'll tell you how!" Bee did a nice guy pose, and Naruto was pretty sure he was winking, "That lady there is fine, I'm telling ya, I'll make her mine!"

"Excuse me?"

"A strong woman really gets my heart movin'." Bee shifted the food bag again, heading for the trashed door as everyone just stared at him. _I am surrounded by sexually frustrated ninja. I swear, I even go into another dimension and I still find a horn-dog shinobi,_ sighed Naruto. "Inside we go, I think it might snow."

_**_*&*&*_POV ROY_*&*&*_**_

Roy couldn't hold his laughter any longer. Particularly after he caught sight of Olivier's stunned expression. "Hooo, I'm sorry but that's just too good. First one of them wants to call you grandma, and now another wants to date you. This is just great."

"Can it, Mustang." Olivier growled, stomping after Bee. Her brother was already leading the way to a nice warm room where they could hopefully get everything straightened out. Roy wisely pretended he didn't see the slight blush.

"You three, go make yourselves useful somewhere else," Roy smirked, not bothering to turn around as he reached the room Bee was being escorted into. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing to gainsay his orders to the three teens. "Hawkeye, make sure we're not disturbed, will you?"

"Yes, sir."

"BUT!" Ed put a hand on the spiky blond's shoulder, glaring at Mustang.

"Don't waste your breath, Naruto. Let's go grab lunch and you can tell us all about that weirdo you call a friend. You said his name was Sai?" With a snort of disgust, the blond allowed himself to be led away by the two brothers. Roy exchanged a look with Riza before going into the room. It wasn't that big of a room, and it felt much smaller with three men crammed into it. Olivier took up more space than the three of them somehow. Mustang thought it had something to do with her 'fuck with me and I'll kill you assholes' vibe she was giving off.

"Now. Tell me what the hell you are doing here," She sneered, leveling her best glare at him, "Killer Bee, was it? Don't try to lie to me, either."

"You may think I'm meek, but hold on to your seat, I'll give you a treat that'll make your heart beat." Bee shifted his weight forward, bag of food temporarily forgotten in his obvious attempt to impress the woman. "Some dude with the Sharingan wanted to get in on. I let him and his back up smack me up. Hachibi lent a leg, givin' Akatsuki a real goose egg, and I used the confusion to get myself movin'." He explained.

There was a moment of silence as Roy, Alex and Olivier pondered what he said. Mustang caught Kakashi nodding and glowered at the man, but before he could open his mouth, Olivier snapped, "Translate!" without even looking at the one-eyed man.

"Well, basically, Bee was attacked by Sasuke Uchiha and a few others. Sasuke has an ocular ability known as the Sharingan. Let's just say it makes him rather difficult for the average shinobi to fight. Killer Bee took advantage of this, and with the aid of his Bijuu escaped, leaving a double of sorts to be captured. Akatsuki, the group I told you about that is after Naruto, would be in for a real shock when the trick was discovered."

The blond woman nodded, "I see. Continue."

"Next thing I knew I was struck out of the blue. This guy with no face stood with me in an empty place. He said some weird crap, something about not being on any map." Bee shrugged, "Then some dower dude was giving me 'tude. Told me he had brought me here, so I put him down on his rear. Hachibi spoke and said dimension hopping's a joke, but A can't find me anyway, so I thought I'd stay."

The woman leaned forward, eyes glittering as she caught the scent as her brother rumbled, "Who was he? The man who claimed to bring you here?"

"He said he was from Drackma, I told him 'fuck-ya'."

"Why? What did he want?" Roy questioned.

"I thought he was talkin' smack, that plan was so whack." Bee grumbled, "I've heard it all before, it's such a snore. I've done the invasion thing, it just ain't my thing. World domination isn't a good justification."

"I see." Olivier leaned back, "So this man asked you to attack Briggs, the base under MY command, in some sort of plot which would ultimately end in world domination?"

"Yep."

"Need I point out you did, in fact, attack my base?"

"That's just a misunderstandin,' I had no clue where I was landin'. I don't want you to pout, I should have asked for a hand-out."

"Is that your idea of an apology? And what exactly are you going to do to make it up to Amestris, to me?" She smacked the table, "Do you realize the trouble you've caused?"

Roy looked on as the man, Killer Bee, looked truly contrite. He sat in silence, obviously thinking. Out of nowhere he looked up, "I owe you an apology, that's plain to see. I don't know how to make this up, not even if I were to shut up."

"Well, that might be a start." Roy laughed.

Bee grinned at him before turning back to the woman seated in front of him, "Olivier, let me be your Concierge." Bee suddenly whooped, "YES! I found something to rhyme with Concierge!" He whipped out his notebook and jotted it down, "Wait till I tell A! That makes it official, you're the woman for me!"

"Just because you were able to rhyme my name?" Olivier sounded insulted.

"Nah, that's just part of it, it takes more to make my heart tick." He grinned, "My honey ain't a weak snow bunny. She's got to have fire, she's got to be a real tiger."

"True love," put in Kakashi_. Maybe I should write a book about this._ "I have a question for you, Bee. Do you realize just how long you have been gone?"

"A week or two, maybe a few."

"That's what I thought." Kakashi leaned on the table, "You've been gone much longer than that."

Roy frowned, "What do you mean by that? He's been here roughly two weeks, going on three, if he came through the other portal thing. Same as Naruto, right?"

"Here, yes, but back home it's been longer." Kakashi explained, turning his attention back to Bee. "Let me tell you what you've missed. Naruto defeated Pein, bringing down Akatsuki in the process around a month ago before vanishing. Three weeks ago, A sent an envoy to Konoha informing us that you had failed to check in around a week before Pein attacked us and were assumed captured by Sasuke. A week ago, Naruto's toad summons reported hearing from him, but were unable to get him back... Do you see where I'm going with this? Killer Bee here has been missing for well over a month, not a few weeks."

"Are you sure?"

Kakashi looked at Roy, totally serious, "Yes. I noticed something off talking to Naruto. The attempted reverse summons in our world took place a day apart, not moments. Other things seemed to be off, too. Of course, Naruto didn't question me on the things that had happened while he was gone, but that's Naruto for you." He turned back to Bee, "Any thought on how to get home?"

"Kumogakure is very far from here. I figured to get home I'd just have to beat that gnome."

"A good plan, but it won't work. Kyuubi has tried, apparently."

"This could be a problem," Bee crossed his arms, suddenly not rapping. "So much for my vacation. A's going to be real pissed when I get back. A week or two he'd forgive, but being gone this long? I may have to change my name to 'Killed' Bee." He looked at Olivier, "Please make an honest man out of me before I die!"

"I'll kill you myself!"

Bee laughed, "But, Kakashi, you should know, Pein really wasn't the one running the show. If I said it was Madara would you say 'huh?'"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't ask, I've got no clue why Bee is flirting with her. He just started to, I swear! I think he's only half serious, though.<strong>_

_**Naruto and the Elric's will be back the next chapter. Not sure how much longer we're going to be, either.**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Kitsune here with the ususal. You know, I've never done a discamer for this story I think. Is it to late now to disavow any ownership I wonder? Well...I own the account this story is hosted under, and the idea, as well as any really random and amazing ideas contained therin. As for FMA and Naruto, Well, I own the Animes, and some liceneced stuff (incuding a Naruto doll given to me by a friend at NYCCCon2011 at the VIZ panel when she got it and I didn't), but I don't own them, obviously. I'm not **_**quite_ that amazing. Yet._**

**_"Thanks and Thanks AGAIN!" to all my readers, favers, reviewers, C2rs, and Alerters...And yet no one has told me what series that line is from. I know at least SOMEONE knows it._**

**_I'm horrible, so you people won't be seeing this chapter until the next one is typed up. This chapter is a little Omake-like, but it really isn't. It's necessary for the plot, I swear._**

**_Question of the chapter_**

**_ "What anime chatacter's death affected you the most?" And I'm talking about someone who stayed dead. I've got a few who didn't exactly stay dead...but for staying dead, L from deathnote, Ace from One Piece, and Wolfwod from Trigun come to mind (I had a friend who was crushed when Legato died, but I didn't feel it, really.)_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV ROY_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_

Mustang looked back and forth between the two shinobi. Kakashi looked completely stunned by Killer Bee's words. "Who, or what is a 'Madara?'" Roy asked, feeling a headache coming on. "And do I really want to know?"

"Probably not." Kakashi answered quickly, "Since he's supposed to have died a really long time ago. Are you sure, Bee?"

"There just ain't no killin' a real good villain. Rumour has it he was Mizukage for a bit, but he wasn't a real hit."

"Well now, this could be a problem. If Madara is behind all this, he'll be coming after the both of you as soon as we find a way to return home. Any chance you know why he's doing all this?"

"You fool, why would I have a clue?"

Roy sighed, turning to his friends, "Notice how they didn't answer my question at all?" He almost whined, "THIS is why I warned you not to try and beat answers out of him, Olivier. You think they're annoying now? At least they're not trying to be difficult."

"I see. I take it this is normal behaviour then?" She glared at the ninja, "How does your country get anything done?"

"That's countries." Killer bee quipped, "Indoctrination at a young age, and the threat of instant death for disobeying orders for Konohagakure, right?"

"We don't indoctrinate our youth. Your 're thinking of Iwagakure And every village has that rule for missing nin. Our Hokage, or at least, the last three, were willing to hear why you disobeyed orders first. Unlike other Kage's I could mention."

"The last three?" Bee cocked his head to the side, "What happened to the lady known as Tsunade?"

"Pein."

Both men stared at each other in silence with the three Amstrians looked on. Finally Olivier couldn't take it any more, much to Roy's amusement. "Men and their stupid pissing contests." She rolled her eyes, "Enough! I get that your, what did you call them? Villages? What a stupid name..." Olivier began, pounding the table, "I get you are not normally on the same side, but don't you think right now you have bigger things to worry about then who can be more secretive? It's time to man up and work together!"

"Me work with Konoha, I'll tell you right now, I really don't wanna!"

"I wasn't asking!" She snapped, "YOU WILL work with them, or I WILL kill you. AND ENOUGH WITH THE LAME RAPPING!" She turned on Kakashi, "Now EXPLAIN to him RIGHT NOW so we're all on the SAME PAGE, or I will SHOOT you."

"Yes ma'am." Kakashi gulped, "Pein attacked Konoha looking for Naruto, who wasn't there. He was undergoing special training for Sage mode, so you better not take him lightly, Bee. Anyway, Tsunade fought with him and became injured before Naruto arrived. Of course, Naruto was able to eliminate the threat, and convinced Pein to revive all those he had killed all in the span of an hour or so."

Bee nodded, "New record?"

"For length of time, no, but on sheer scale, yes." Kakashi continued, "Anyway, do to Tsunade being in a coma temporarily, Danzo was put in charge. We're working on rectifying that right now. Of course, with the time difference, it may already be taken care of."

"I see. She's alright then?"

"Wide awake and waiting to beat the crap out of Naruto."

Bee laughed, "That sounds just like the princess. You know, A once asked her out? She put him though a wall."

"Oh, so she was being polite about it then." Both men laughed, tension gone. "Anyway, to answer your earlier question, Mustang, Madara was one of the founders of my village. He's supposed to have been dead for a really long time though. I'll have to send a message back and warn everyone. Bee, I'll send word that we found you as well."

"Err...To save my behind, would you mind...?"

Kakashi smiled, "I'll just tell the truth. Since you were abducted in a similar manner to Naruto's you've been attempting to find a way back to your brother's side. I'll inform them that we've decided to team up and find a way home."

"In the mean time, let's get you settled, Killer Bee." Mustang smirked, "After all, you wouldn't want to turn down this lovely lady's hospitality, now would you?"

"Me? Wouldn't dream of it!"

_**_*&*&*_Time Skip_*&*&*_**_

Roy had been on his way to meet up with Olivier and their less-then welcome guests the next morning when he'd realized he'd forgotten all his files back on his nightstand. He'd briefly thought about going back and getting them, or better yet, finding a grunt to go, but a solution presented itself quite readily in the form of one older Elric walking with that silver-haired bastard. After all, his room was all the way on the other side of the fort (Or, in reality, just right down the hall.)..."Edward! So nice to see you."

The blond gave him a dirty look, "What do you want, Mustang?"

"Why do you assume I want something? Can't I just be happy to see my favourite former subordinate?"

"No." The blond huffed, "Out with it already! Kakashi-San and I were going over the intracises of Genjutsu."

"Fascinating, I'm sure." He felt Ed's glare and chose to ignore it, instead watching as Kakashi slowly meandered down the hall towards the meeting place.. "That reminds me...I seem to have forgotten my files on the nightstand. Mind getting them for me?"

"Yes, I _DO_ mind, you jerk! I don't work for you any more! Why the HELL should I be your errand boy?"

Mustang just smirked, "Because you are my errand boy."

It was just like old times, bullying the younger man into doing what he wanted until Ed had stomped away in a huff. "You son of a..."

"If you don't hurry, you'll be late for the meeting..."Roy didn't even bother to stick around and wait, instead he continued on his merry way. Or he had been until he'd heard the ungodly shriek and a series of loud bangs and thuds coming from his room. His heart froze. "ED!" He spun, almost flying back towards his room, only mildly surprised that Kakashi was at the door before him. The man put up his arm, preventing Mustang from entering the room. "MOVE!"

"You don't want to go in there. Trust me on this." The silver haired man wasn't smiling for a change as he held the now distraught Brigadier general back and firmly shut the door.

"Oh god. Ed...Edward! Are you alright?" Roy imagined everything that could have possibly have happened that would cause the man to prevent him from entering the room, and felt sick when he got no answer. "FUCK! MOVE YOU ASSHOLE!" He attempted to punch Kakashi unsuccessfully, "ED! ANSWER ME NOW DAMNIT!"

"N...Nughnn..."

The relief Roy felt was unimaginable as he sagged against Kakashi, "Oh Thank You God." He sighed as his relief turned to rage. "Why the hell did you shut the door?" He snarled at Kakashi, hating the man's very existence. "I thought he was dead!"

"Ehgh..." Another moan came from the other side of the door, full of a strange pain.

"Ed, I'm coming in, just wait, alright?" He glared at Kakashi, "Now move, or I'll burn you to a crisp, truce or no."

"Oh...Roy, you really don't wanna open that door!" Ed shouted from the other side. "Don't worry, I'm not hurt, but, trust me...It's horrible...It's like...a transmutation gone horribly wrong but worse...What the hell happened?"

Mustang eyed the doorknob for only a moment before looking at Kakashi, daring the man to stop him. The Jonin just shrugged, "Don't say I didn't warn you, then."

The knob turned surprisingly easily, opening into a room that really _did_ look like a transmutation gone wrong. The furniture seemed to have imploded, the lamp and linens, not to mention his cloths were stuck to the ceiling and walls, and he was pretty sure that when he'd left the room this morning there had NOT been a goat. Everything was covered in litres and litres of thick purple goo. In the middle of it all stood a very disgruntled Ed who was trying to keep the very happy goat from eating the amazingly fine file."Purple's a good colour for you, Ed."

"Screw. You." The purple covered youth fumed as he curled his lip.

"What the hell happened in there?" Roy asked, noticing Kakashi actually covering his mouth he revised the question, "What are you doing?"

"Wait till the smell hits you, then you'll see." The man said cryptically. "Honestly, I was expecting Naruto to do this sooner. After what you did, well, be thankful it's a relatively harmless prank."

"What..." Mustang began just as the smell, the _stench_ hit him. "_OH GOD. _That's _Horrible!_ What _IS __that?_" he gasped. " Oh, hell, you call that harmless?"

"Well," The man shrugged one shoulder, "At least this one probably won't kill you..."

"Wait, has he done this to people before?" Ed asked, horrified.

"Well, usually the goo is orange." Kakashi chuckled, "He was the number one village prankster growing up. Most of the pranks were harmless, but I heard that before Iruka got to him they were getting dangerous. Ah, by that, I mean they could have possibly maimed or potentially killed a civilian. Afterwards...well he usually only targets other shinobi now, so it's a bit harder to judge, but there's been no lasting physical damage from his pranks."

"That doesn't make it harmless, you know..." Gasped out Roy as Olivier came running with Hawkeye, Armstrong, Al, Killer Bee, and a laughing Naruto.

"Aw man, Sorry, Ed, I thought Match-bastard for sure would be the first one back in the room..." The blond laughed, "Eh, oh well. Pretty wicked prank, huh, Kakashi-sensei?" He was apparently the only one not bothered by the horrid stench that Roy was sure he was going to have nightmares about for the rest of his life.

Oliver glared at the boy before pointing at him with the one hand not covering her mouth, "YOU! You will clean this mess up!"

"Yeah yeah, I expected that..." The blond continued to grin.

"SMELL and all!" She snarled, "I'll deal with you later." She looked at Ed with an expression that was equal parts disgust and pity, "You, shower, now. Left wing. If there's anyone else there, kick them out. I'll have someone bring you more soap and shampoo."

"Try some tomato juice mixed with sake." Kakashi put in, "It helps cut down on the smell." Everyone looked at him, "no, you really don't want to know why I know that."

"Alright then. Alex, take Roy and Kakashi to the officer showers. I don't want to see any of you till you smell better."

"I know this stink is making it kinda hard to think, but we two need something to do." Killer Bee grinned, holding his nose and nudging Al with his elbow.

"You can either help the blond idiot clean up, or join the others in the shower."

Don't mean to be dower but I'm gonna shower." Bee laughed, "You?"

"I'll go with brother...Unless you need a hand Naruto?" Al asked, cringing at the thought, though he tried to hide it.

In response Naruto laughed, "Nah, don't worry about it. Prank rule number four, you get caught, you clean it up. I'm used to this, and with my shadow clones, it'll be done in a lot less time." He waved them all off, "But the look on your faces...Oh-boy...totally worth it."


	27. Chapter 27

_**Kitsune Here with the NEXT CHAPTER OF AWESOMENESS.**_** I have totally been on a writing kick the last few days...which leads me to asking...Anyone read the book series Dark Hunters AND watch the anime Hitman Reborn (or read the manga)? If there's a YES to both of them...I'm looking for a beta reader for a project that will involve multi-one-shots and one mid-to-long story. Semi-crack, semi-serious. I don't wanna go hunting in the forums if I don't have to...For those it's a NO for...HEY! you just got a preview of what I'm working on next.**

**"Thanks and Thanks again!" to all my readers, reviewers, favers, alerters, and C2rs. Love you all. Next chapter is well planned out, and the one after it is tentitive. We should (note I said should) be winding down. Eventually. I hope.**

**Question of the chapter: "Favorite anime villain?" For me, it's got to be that guy, Gyumaoh from Saiyuki (because he's never actually IN the show,) and Knives from Trigun. Badguys should STAY BAD. Unless they're anti-heros, like Dark Snider (BASTARD!). Then they're cool.**

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><p><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_POV<strong>_** ROY_*&*&*_**_

Roy sighed as the hot water cascaded down his back. Experimentally he sniffed...Yep...Still stink. "Pass me the bloody Mary paste."

"Here you go Mustang." Alex tossed a squeeze bottle of the hasty made concoction over the curtain. For a while the only sounds to be heard were slight gagging noises as the men attempted to scrub themselves free of the smell. Even Armstrong and Bee, who had arrived much later and not approached the room to closely reeked. "What exactly is in this smell to make it so...Pervasive I wonder." Mused the strongman.

"We're not exactly sure." Kakashi almost laughed from his stall, the lower half of his face blocked by the curtain, "It's gotten worse, or better if your Naruto. First time he stink-goo-ed someone the theory went he cleaned out his fridge and mixed it all together." His head disappeared as he lathered again, "personally I think he got into T&I's stash of supplies and after some trial and error came up with this stuff. Incidentally, Ibiki uses it sometimes."

Armstrong hummed, "T&I? That wouldn't happen to stand for Torture and Interrogation, would it?" To the other's affirmative grunt he huffed, "Such a world you live in, and yet a young boy was able to infiltrate such a place?"

"It's Naruto." As if that explained everything. Then again, after seeing that room, it kind of did. "Anyway, Bee-San, I need to ask you something. As I told you last night, Madara is setting up to wage war with the untied shinobi nations. The Kages' are going to need all the help they can get when we get back, and you're the only Jinchuriki in full control of your Biju. You need to train Naruto..."

Roy was surprised when the darker shinobi cut him off, "No."

"He's a fast study."

Killer Bee stepped out of his shower, wrapping a towel casually around himself, "The answer's still no, man. If we were back home, maybe, yeah. He's seems like a good kid, for the fox's brat. But we don't have the right type of training areas here. We need somewhere were we can really go wild, in case something goes wrong and he loses control."

Roy turned off his shower, "What do you mean, 'loses control?' You mean turn into the fox? He's done that."

"Ah yes, a magnificent beast..."

"No, trust me, he hasn't. Not really. If he had, he's _STILL BE_ the Kyuubi. We need a place where if that happens we can lock him up."

The men were silent. _Wait a minute_, Roy smirked, "Is that all? I've got the perfect place then."

"Oh?" Bee raised an eyebrow.

"Truth's room. He brought you guys here after all. He can help then."

Kakashi smiled at him, "So, you'll train Naruto then, Bee?"

"Not fast, Kakashi. Still need an alternative to the waterfall. Won't do any good to train him if he can't get over his own anger. Kyuubi's will just eat him right up, ya know?"

Alex cocked his head to the side, "His own anger?"

"Yeah," Bee waved the bottle of tomato-paste sake at the man, "pranks like this, you think it's just pay back? Open your eyes man. Jinchuriki's got it tough, baggage is a must. You don't suddenly become a deadly-good pranker over-night, right? Yeah, The blond-brat's kinda mild compared to some of the others, but you don't forget all that hate people heap on you. Take it from me, it festers." The man shrugged, "Even if I wasn't gonna train him, I'd say he'd have to deal with it before he went bat-shit."

"So we need a waterfall?" Roy asked, filing away the information for later. "I assume for meditation?"

"Something' like that."

"Why not use alchemy to make what we need?"

_**_*&*&*_POV NARUTO_*&*&*_**_

Naruto looked up for scrubbing the last of the purple goo off the floor when he heard people heading down the hall. With a grin, he tossed the brush into his bucket and poked his head out the door, "Yo!" he grinned at the group. Kakashi waved as he, Bee, Armstrong and Mustang approached.

"How'd you get rid of the smell so fast?" Roy asked, obviously shocked. Naruto was pleased to note he still smelled slightly of rotten eggs.

"Trade secret," He smirked, "The real hard part is getting rid of the goo, but I'm done here. So, what you guys up to? Heading to the meeting?"

"Not exactly." Kakashi smiled, "Why don't you guys get started. I'll explain the situation to Naruto here." Why did Naruto get the feeling that he wasn't necessarily going to like this? Particularly the way Mustang was looking at him. He knew that look, that was the look Captain Yamato gave him right before assigning him some insane training regimen. _Crap, _he thought as the group continued their stroll down the hall, apparently debating whether or not to tell Olivier or let her find out on her own, things were going to be interesting to say the least.

He turned to Kakashi, his usual grin plastered on his face, "What's up, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Naruto..." Kakashi paused, apparently thinking about the best way to tell the teen something. "Nagato wasn't the real threat. Apparently Madara Uchiha's been alive all this time and is planning on destroying all the shinobi villages, starting with Konoha. He needs you and Bee to compete his plan, so he'll be targeting you the moment we return." Well, tactless was the best. Naruto stared at him flabbergasted, "Bee's agreed to train you until we return."

"Wait..._WHAT_? WHY would I wanna learn ANYTHING from that old fart?"

"That old fart, as you put it, is the last Jinchuriki, not to mention he is in compete control over the eight-tails." Kakashi raised and eyebrow, "Can you say the same?"

"He's able to control it? Really?"

"Really."

"Really, seriously? And he's going to teach me?"

"Well..." The silver haired man shrugged, "He's agreed to try. He's not so sure how well it will work with the new location. That's where the others are heading now, by the way. To set up the first phase of your training. He also said he wasn't sure if you'd be able to figure it out." Kakashi smiled, "Let's prove him wrong, shall we?"

Ed still had purple tinted hair. Usually, Naruto used orange in the off chance he himself got caught in some goo setting up. Orange faded really easily into his blond, but apparently purple did not. He felt vaguely guilty about that, and the smell of rotten cabbages coming from the slightly older teen. Mostly, he still thought it was funny. He guessed laughing wasn't the nicest thing he could do, though. Bee waved him over, "Yo, I'd rather be hangin, but Kakashi here's got me doing your trainin'. Set one ain't no fun. Meditate before you leave this place."

"Meditate? But I already know how to do that!" Naruto huffed, "It's a little thing called sage mode!"

"Well then, it's not so out of the blue, show me what you can do."

Naruto plopped down where he stood and sought that precious balance between himself and the rest of world. He vaguely heard Al mutter "Oh, that's how he does it! Fascinating..." But blocked it out. In moments he had reached that spot and opened his now orange eyes before smirking up at the rapping older ninja, springing to his feet. "Sage Mode!" He couldn't help pointing out.

Killer Bee looked honestly impressed. He calmly walked around Naruto, looking into his eyes a bit too intently, making the youth nervous before shaking his head. "What a treat, what you just did is no small feat." He held up a hand, "But to reach your true self you get no help."

Naruto just blinked, letting sage mode fade as he thought about it, "...Huh?" he looked at the others to see if anyone else got it.

"I'm with Naruto on this one," Ed put in, "If that was so impressive, why are we here again?"

Killer Bee explained, "Sage mode is about balancing the external forces of nature, channeling them...I've heard of it, got to say it's one hella an impressive technique for a Genin to master. BUT. For mastering a Biju, you need to turn your inner eye on yourself."

Ed nodded, "Oh."

"I still don't get it. And where the hell do you get off calling me a Genin?" Naruto pointed at the older ninja "HEY! YOU DIDN'T RAP!"

Bee rolled his eyes, "This time you meditate to get in touch with all that hate." The man shooed everyone out of the room

"Why didn't you just say so to begin with?" Naruto grumbled as everyone else walked out, leaving him alone with Bee and Ed and Al.

"Quit your bitching." Ed put in, "At least your not purple."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Why don't I believe you? Oh, yeah, it could be that GRIN on your face!"

"Brother..." Al sighed, "Bee-San, what can I do to help?"

The man grinned, making Naruto nervous, "A Waterfall, or we lose it all."

"Right!" Alphonse nodded, clapping his hands together in a way Naruto had become familiar with recently. His older brother stopped him however and whispered into his ear with a slightly less-then-evil grin. The younger brother nodded, clapping his hands together again and slapping the floor.

Blue sparks danced around and around the room, rebuilding it to the teens' specifications. The floor dropped and sloped, creating an empty pool that took up the majority of the room, a small raised area remained that lead directly in front of the shower-heads, which had now merged. Naruto wasn't exactly sure what to call it...If Ed's head had been turned into a cartoon, and then the cartoon turned into a dragon, it _might_ look a bit like what Al had created. The _Thing_ rose up a few more feet before settling against the ceiling, it's mouth opening, and tongue lulling out. It kinda looked like it was really sick, an image made worse when water started gushing out.

Killer Bee started to laugh. "That's pretty smart, a real work of art." He slapped Naruto on the back, "We'll be on stand-by, don't worry, time will fly."

"Screw you." Grumbled the blond, eyeing the whole thing in annoyed disgust. Finally with a huff he settled himself on the raised bit of cement in front of the makeshift waterfall and closed his eyes.

_**"I can't believe you let someone from another village boss you around like that"**__ A voice mocked from the other side of the water almost instantly._

_Naruto opened his eyes, looking in shock as Naruto came out from the fall, "What the hell?"_

_**"Then again, you let that bastard live after torturing you, so I shouldn't be surprised. No wonder the Kyuubi think's your hopeless."**_

_"Well, ok, you might have a point there...No. Wait." Naruto paused, completely confused as he stood, ready to fight this strange clone which he knew he didn't create, "Seriously, Who the hell are you?"_

_**"I'm you, idiot. Or, I'm the real you, the better you."**_

_"Fuck that!" The blond raced forward, only to have all his attacks mirrored by the clone. As the battle dragged on he did his best to drown out all the hateful words the other flung at him. He wasn't _really_ like that was he? He didn't _really_ hate his village, right? Roy might have been a prick, but he didn't _really_ want to kill him. Not _really_..._

_**"Too bad about Ed, though. He's such a little busy-body. Would have served him right if he'd gotten a little banged up."**__ The Doppelganger grinned, __**"Maybe then he'd appreciate us. Maybe they all would. Too bad."**_

_Naruto blinked, barely dodging a kunai. He wasn't _disappointed_ Ed wasn't hurt in his prank! He was relieved, really really relieved!_ But part of me...Part of me would have been really happy if Roy had been...This guy...He IS me. Or part of me. Killer Bee said something about hate, right? Gah...What did Ero-sennin say about that...Oh yeah!_ Instead of dodging the next attack, or meeting it head on, instead he took it, hugging his other self close "You're right. I am under-appreciated, back home, and here too. But I'm working on it. We're all working on it, I think. You know if I'm not willing to let others try, I'll never grow."_

_**"What of me then?"**__ The other rumbled, no longer fighting, __**"Will you just leave me behind?"**_

_"Well, you are me, right? So how could I leave you? Come with me..." He said as the other faded away._

"So how long did you say this was going to take again?" Ed's voice echoed behind Naruto, sounding bored. He realized he'd never left the room, and probably had been sitting still the whole time, however long that was. Silently, he vowed to tell no one about what had happened. It was just too sappy for words.

"It's not up to me, we'll have to wait and see."

"You rap just to piss people off, don't you? Maybe I could go draw on him or something..."

Naruto growled, "Do it and I'll cut your hair."

"Oh good, you're back. How'd it go?" Ed grinned, helping Naruto up.

"Eh, you know, piece of cake."

"Really? Because, you were gone for _hours_. What did you see?" The shinobi just shook his head.

He looked over to Killer Bee, who actually grinned at him and offered his fist. Naruto stared at it for a moment before raising his own, a look of confusion on his face. He was sure Bee was rolling his eyes when he lightly tapped his fist against the blue-eyed blond's. "Good job, for a SOB."

"Er...Thanks? Anyway, what's next?"

"It took a while to get over all that hate, I've got to say it's a bit too late. We'll start part two tomorrow, got to warn ya, it'll be more then just me and you." Naruto found for the first time he could understand what Bee meant. He wondered if it had anything to do with the fist-bump but dismissed the idea as dumb, even for him.

"Really? But I wanted to keep going!" he called at the other's retreating back.

"Get some rest, it's for the best." Bee shouted from the hall.

"He's right. It's late, and I'm bushed." Alphonse said, "I think you're supposed to bed down with us. Something about Olivier not trusting you on your own anymore..." He trailed off sheepishly.

"I understand...Hey, Al, can you give us a sec?" Naruto waited until it was just him and Edward alone in the room. He had no doubt that Al was eavesdropping. "Listen, Ed...I'm sorry."

"Yeah, right."

"No, really. The prank was meant for Roy, and I guess I went a little overboard with it. If you had been hurt...Hell if that guy had been hurt even...Anyway. I _Am _sorry." He reached into his pouch and pulled out a small spray canister, "Listen, it won't do anything for the colour, but this'll get rid of the smell."

Ed eyed the canister, obviously intrigued, "completely?"

"Yep."

"How? Is it a chemical reaction, or does it do something to seal it away? Is that even possible, to seal a smell away?"

Naruto grinned, glad their friendship was apparently patched up, "I can't tell you how it works really, since I'm not sure how I made it myself, I was seven at the time...And then the old man and Ibiki made me swear to never ever tell anyone how to make either the goo or the stink-be-gone...Anyway, I can tell you it works on everything from goo-bombs to drunken masters."

"Cool. Thanks, man." Ed slapped him on the back, "Let's get going before Al think's I drown you or something."

"HA! As if you could."


	28. Chapter 28

**_Kitsune Here. First off, I wanna say sorry for the long wait. There's an important Note in this A.N...so keep reading please. But first, the usual!_**

**_"Thanks, and Thanks again!" to all the reviewers, alerters, c2rs, and favers! I love you guys! This chapter's question is..."Do you prefer to read a manga version of a story, or do you prefer the anime version?" For me, it depends on the style, and how much farther the story is in the manga, and overall plot I guess...Like Pandora hearts manga is MUCH cooler then the anime, but I like Zombie Loan's anime better then the manga._**

**_The important NOTE! Ok, some of you, a select few (like, maybe 3 or 4 of you, really) knew this already, but to everyone else, the reason for the wait was because I wanted to get the whole ending to this story typed up. That's right. I've written the end of "Truth Bites", which will be Chapter 31. Each chapter will be posted within a day or so, to allow me to do some final editing. Anyway, enjoy the chapter~._**

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><p>It was late morning when the boys finally joined the adults in the large room that had been commandeered for the meeting. Naruto wasn't too worried about being late, however. Before they'd turned in for the night, Ed and Al had told him that Olivier had decided to split the group into two main forces, the 'train the crap out of Naruto' group and the 'find the assholes fucking with my country' group. Her words, apparently. So it wasn't like he was really going to miss anything important at this meeting, other than where the heck he was supposed to go for the next phase of his training, since he wasn't going to be allowed to help track down the guy responsible for bringing him to this place. The blonde did hope they waited for him before taking the bad-guys on, though. He was really itching for a good fight, and Kakashi had put his foot down on any good shinobi sparring matches for some strange reason. He wasn't twelve anymore, he knew better then to use Rasengan indoors! Though if he mastered the mini-Rasengan, he was sure it would be useful for mixing chocolate milk...<p>

When Al politely knocked on the door before opening it, Naruto thought that maybe he would have been better off skipping the meeting all together. It was a really crowded room, with Kakashi Roy, Killer Bee, Olivier, Alex, Hawkeye, and a few people he didn't recognize but the other two seemed to know. He was pretty sure one was Ishballan, but then again, he was terrible at guessing, so he kept his mouth shut.

"Ah, about time you idiots showed up," Roy smirked, barely sparing them a glance as they opened the door before turning his attention back to the document he was studying. "We were just about ready to come and get you, fox-boy. Killer Bee wants to get the next phase of your training started as soon as possible, you know."

"The sooner you get gone, the sooner we can get rid of you." Grumbled Olivier as she poured over her maps. "Honestly, what's the world coming to? First homunculi, now Shinobi." She glared at Roy, "YOU! Tell Truth I don't appreciate him messing around in my country like this! It's unacceptable!"

Mustang just chuckled, "Somehow, I really don't think it cares. Who knows what that thing is really up to, anyway." He shook his head, placing the files he was looking at on the table and taking more from Hawkeye before turning to Bee, "But I'm sure Bee will deliver your message for you while we're there, right?"

"Her wish should be a real cinch. That creep never leaves that place, he should mind his own business, the waste space."

Al brightened, "Oh, so you're going to use Truth's white room for Naruto's training then?"

"What made you decide on that?" his brother asked.

"Wait, you want us to train WHERE?" Naruto practically screeched, "Nu-_UH_, not going back there!" He shook his head, "That guy is plain creepy! He's got no face, Octo-pops. No. Face. How does that even work?" The teen shuttered, "Besides, I don't have this key thing you asked about, anyway."

"Well," Roy put in, "That really shouldn't be a problem. After all, that 'creepy guy' is literally truth. So he probably has this key."

Kakashi looked up from his files, apparently he had been paying attention after all, "Come again?"

"Eh, I guess you could call it a god. If you believe in that kind of crap, anyway." Ed snorted, "The point is, That Truth bastard works on equivalent exchange, so if you give him something equal to this damn key, he'll probably give you the key." He shrugged, "Or, you could try summoning the toads again, but that worked so well last time."

"So why wait, this'll be a piece of cake!" Bee grinned, "We're bad-ass ninja, we've got to have something he'd want, ya?"

"Oh no. nonononononono! Kakashi-sensei! Please, don't make me go back there!"

"Sorry, Naruto," His treacherous teacher smiled, "We talked it over, and really, it's the safest place for you to train in case things get...out of hand. Without Yamamoto here, our options are a bit more limited than I'd like. I'm sure you'll be fine, though. You are aiming to be the next Hokage, after all."

Naruto just stared at him for a moment before sighing, "That was low, Kakashi-sensei. Fine. I'll do it, but I'm _not_ happy about it. That guy reminds me of a G-ghost...I HATE ghosts!"

"Says the guy who spoke to his dead dad," Mustang muttered before continuing louder, slapping a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "All right then, people! You have your marching orders! We'll be back as soon as this sorry excuse of a shinobi's been whipped into shape."

Ed Snarked, "Preferably not the large, fur covered kind"

"Thanks, Ed, for that reminder. Good luck, and Godspeed." The Brigadier General saluted, a gesture the rest of the military personnel in the room returned before he half led, half dragged reluctant youth out of the room. The two were followed shortly by Bee who was sent running, dodging Olivier's knife. The blond could only assume that he'd attempted to get a goodbye kiss.

It was just a short walk over to an empty work room. The two shinobi eyed the large circle that was drawn on the ground in chalk with interest. It looked vaguely like some of the seals they knew, but it was like comparing a first year academy students work to a seal master's work. Neither had any clue what the lines meant. Bee leaned in and held out a hand, only to stop as he felt Mustang's glare on his back. He shrugged, instead settling for staring hard at the design.

"This is a transmutation array. Naruto's seen a couple already, but this one is a bit different. This circle is for human alchemy." The flame alchemist explained, "Human Transmutation goes against the laws of Alchemy. It's basically impossible to make a person out of nothing, or bring back the dead using Alchemic means. It doesn't stop people from trying, however."

"Of course not. There's a reason shit like this is forbidden, right?" The younger shinobi snorted. "People are stupid."

"That's one way to look at it." The adults shared a look, one that spoke of the naivety of youth.

"Not that this is a snore, but how we going to find that illusive door?" Bee asked

"That's what this is." Mustang explained. "As I was explaining, when someone attempts human transmutation, not only does it not work, it also has the added result of sending the person to what we call 'the Gate of Truth'. Very convenient for us right now."

"But...We can't do this Alch-crap thing."

"Al-chem-my, you blonde idiot." the raven-haired man sighed, "No, you can't but you can act as my ingredients, as it were. Which, experience has taught us, will have the same effect. So, stand in the middle of the circle. And don't touch ANYTHING." Both shinobi made a big show of carefully stepping over the intricate lines to stand in the middle of the circle before turning to stare at the Alchemist with matching looks of 'what now?' Mustang couldn't help but grin as he slapped his hands together, "See you at the gate, then," He touched the circle.

_**_**_*&*&*_**_THE GATE_**_*&*&*_**_**_

_With a groan, Naruto wondered if he had forgotten to check the expiration date on his milk again. His stomach felt horrible. In fact, his whole body felt like crap. Then again, he didn't remember drinking any milk before going to bed last night. The last thing he remembered was..."Crud." A moan answered him from his left. "You guys dead?" He asked, eyes still scrunched shut._

_"Nunn...maybe?" Answered Killer Bee, "Worse then Aniki's Sake. I feel hung over, can I get a do-over?"_

_"No...Do overs...I am not doing this. Any more. Then. Necessary." Roy wheezed out. "Fuck."_

_"I was wondering when you'd show up again, Mister Kyuubi-jinchuuriki, Mister Hachibi-jinchuuriki." A voice said a little too happily._

_"Is that?"_

_"Nunn...Too loud. Go away, I'm too sick to deal with your freaky ass right now." whined the blond._

_Truth, of course, ignored them, "And Mister Flame-Alchemist! I didn't think I'd see _You_ again after you got your sight back."_

_Roy sighed, Naruto could hear him shifting, apparently getting up, he would lay there a bit longer though. "Trust me, I'd be happy to never see this place again. But you know why I'm here."_

_"Of course. To train the boy." He heard laughter in the voice, "But you have no key."_

_"I'll trade you for the damn key." Naruto growled into the ground._

_He felt the thing's attention fix on him, "I didn't quite hear you."_

_The blond sat up, staring straight at the smudge-that-was-a-person "I said I'll trade you for the damn key. That's how you work, right? Ed said you were some kind of freaky scale-god, right? So, what the hell do you want?" The grin vanished from the non-existent face._

_Both men looked at him in shock as he continued to stare at the outlined shape, "Scale-god? What the hell? Are you retarded or something?" Roy snarled as Bee just lipped the words 'scale-god' over and over again. "Of All The..."_

_Laughter interrupted him, "Scale...oh, that's great!" The grin was twice as wide as before, "Yes YES! That's it! That's it exactly! You figured it out, though the little former-alchemist helped."_

_Bee looked at Roy, "I'm confused." the Alchemist shrugged._

_"That's great, but what's fair for this stupid key I need?" Naruto asked, ignoring them._

_"You've already paid, Mr. Jinchuuriki." Truth answered, holding out its hand. A swirling mist floated to the teen and enveloped him. "I would never have thought that YOU of all people would have put that together."_

_Roy huffed, "What on earth are you two talking about?"_

_Both looked at him, grinning, but it was Naruto who answered, "Scale-God, right?" To the look of confusion, he elaborated, "Scales, you know, like the merchants or medics use? I bet you Alch-whatever people use them, too." He held out both arms, miming a scale, "Well, you guys said he'd do exchanges for equal stuff, which is kinda like the shopkeepers back home. But the crooked ones would thumb the scale, right? Like the guy at the ink shop. I thought if this Truth guy was a god, even if he was creepy as hell, no offence,"_

_"None taken."_

_"Then he wouldn't be a crook. He'd deal out fairly, right?" He gave his signature grin, arms now behind his head._

_Roy turned to Killer Bee, exasperated confusion still on his face, "Did that make any sense to you?"_

_"He want's to buy ink with money is what I got." Bee shrugged, "But it doesn't really matter, because it made sense to no-face there." Bee looked at Naruto, "Alright, this is gonna be a real fight, we're gonna have you sit tight. Kyuubi is nowhere I see, so he's retreated inside, probably looking for a place to hide."_

_"Eh? Kyuubi's not here?" The blond glanced at his shadow and saw that it was normal, "Well, that's kinda weird...though I guess he sorta knows what coming, huh? Wait a second, where's yours?" He was a little shocked that he hadn't even thought of it until now._

_"I'm right here, kid."_

_Naruto blinked in confusion at Bee, his eyes travelling slowly behind him, then up,_ way up_ into the eyes of Hachibi who loomed over all of them, grinning. "Oh. My. GOD!" He pointed up to the beast, "It's...it's..."_

_"See Bee. He's so overwhelmed by my glory he's speechless."_

_"It's a squid!"_

_Bee punched him on the back of the head, "Count the tails, you idiot! Eight! EIGHT! HACHI-BI. EIGHT. TAILS. NOT. A. SQUID."_


	29. Chapter 29

_**_**Kitsune Foxfire again, obviously. Once again, "Thanks and thanks again!" to all my wonderful readers, reviewers, alerters, c2ers, and favers...you know what, even the lurkers. This chapter is a little shorter, but worry not, the next two, which I remind you are the last(!) chapters, are written and waiting.**_**_

**_Question of this chapter is: "Do you ever find yourself looking at a book or a live action move and go, "oh man, they TOTALLY got that idea from this manga/anime!" It's happened to me a few times, actually, and sometimes I read or watch the movie anyway, though other times, I get pissed and walk away. I wanna say, I DO read and watch normal non anime related stuff, people._**

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><p><em><strong><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_POV KAKASHI_**_*&*&*_**_**_

It was cold. Kakashi had foolishly thought that Briggs was cold, but this barren place, barely a half a day's trek from the fort, the temperature had dropped drastically. His conclusion as he looked at the group of tents huddled together in the blizzard? _These people are either insane or stupid. Possibly both._ On the other hand, it had made tracking down these people, the ones responsible for pulling his student as well as Killer Bee into this world, that much easier. Not too many tent villages out in the middle of the mountains in the dead of winter, after all. The whole job was made that much easier by Olivier's rather impressive information network on Drachma. For a woman who swore that she had no spies sneaking across the borders, she was surprisingly well informed. He'd only wasted a few days instead of the week he'd been expecting to be out in this god-forsaken wasteland thanks to her.

For an experianced Shinobi, it was ridicously easy to sneak into the small tent-town and verify that these people were in fact the guys they were looking for. Kakashi briefly concidered taking out everyone on his own. They were woefully unprepaired for a shinobi-attack, that much was painfully obvious, particuarlly one of his level. In reality, it just made him angry at Killer Bee, since the fool had been called right into the middle of this bunch of idiots and had apparently done nothing to them other then push a few around. The silver-haired man squelched the earge to rectify this obvious mistake on the Kumogakure shinonbi's partm reminding himself that if did so, it was competely possible both jinchuuriki would become permanently trapped here. With things rappidly deteriorating into a massive battle back home, he couldn't risk it. He sighed as he helped himself to some of the enemies food, making sure to spoil the rest.

Olivier had apparently known that he'd consider finishing these guys off, she'd been quite specific in her orders, after all. Of course, now that he'd found them, the hard part was going to be moving the much slower Amestrian troops into place for an attack. That was going to be a miserable experience, he was sure. Then again, that really wasn't his problem. His job had been simple, find the bad guys. The joinin marked the location on the map he'd been given, silently debating the wisdom of just taking care of the problem on his own. With a slight shiver he turned away from the mostly barred camp and headed back towards Briggs, wanting a hot shower more than anything.

_**_**_*&*&*_**_THE GATE POV ROY_**_*&*&*_**_**_

Roy warily eyed the blond boy seated on the ground. Neither he nor Bee had moved for hours, basically leaving Mustang alone with Truth and the giant Bull-ocupuss for company. Frankly, the Flame alchemist was freaked out. For a while, he'd done his best to ignore the being known as Truth, and the tactic seemed to work, or perhaps it could actually see what was going on inside Naruto, because now it was intently watching the teen. At least, that's what he assumed it was doing. Roy had then spent an hour studying Hachibi, but really, the beast was frightening and creepy, as well as reminding him greatly of the few chimeras he'd seen. The creature, for its part, mostly ignored him, other then asking him politely not to try lighting him on fire. At least this one hadn't tried to eat or squish him.

Suddenly Bee lept to his feet, "Damnit!"

"What? What happened?"

The man pointed to Naruto, "I lost him, that's what."

Roy stared at the blond, who was still sitting there, calmly meditating. He raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Don't go 'Oh', this isn't some lame show! Kyuubi chased Hachibi and me out before we could even shout."

"Sorry, Bee," Rumbled the giant ox-apus, "that fox has gotten tricker since the last time we fought."

Truth smirked widely, resting it's head on a hand as it leaned in towards the teen, "Well now. This is getting interesting." Roy looked over at Naruto to see what had gotten the god-creature's attention and saw something that really gave him the chills.

"Is he supposed to be doing that?" He pointed to the red energy bubbling out of Naruto, energy that was quickly forming into what looked like tails.

"No." Bee frowned, "This is very bad."

"It looks like Mister Kyuubi is going to eat his host again," pointed out Truth, "but this time, it'll be a more permanent snack, I think."

"And if that happens?" Roy turned to Bee, "What then?"

"We're screwed." The shinobi answered.

The grin widened. "Very interesting. What will you do now, Mister Jinjuriki?"

_**_**_*&*&*_**_THE GATE POV NARUTO_**_*&*&*_**_**_

The teen cringed, waiting for impact. Braced for it, eyes shut against the inevitable, despite years of training, though when you thought about it, when a tail THAT size was whistling down at you about to flatten you and you were stuck, closing your eyes really was your only option. The moment dragged on for an eternity, and he actually found it almost troubling how long it was taking for his doom to reach him. Not that he was opening his eyes to see what was taking so long. What was really odd was he swore he could smell cookies. Who knew the fox smelled like warm chocolate chip cookies? He kinda figured Kyuubi'd smell like wet dog, but go figure.

His mouth watered, and finally he cracked open an eye. Instead of the sight he was expecting, his soon-to-be-death-by-tail, he saw a person. A person with really long bright red hair who was currently busy facing the other direction in the kitchen._ Wait, Kitchen?_ "Huh?" Naruto blinked stupidly, noticing that he was indeed in a kitchen for some reason. _Ok, now I'm really confused._

"Oh good, you've opened your eyes." The person turned, holding a plate of cookies while smiling brightly, "Your father used to do the exact same thing right before he Hiraishin'd somewhere. Drove me nuts. What if he landed over a spike pit or something?" She growled, blue eyes flashing dangerously for a second. She looked at the now very nervous teen before sighing, "But that's all in the past right, Naruto? Do you want a Cookie?"

"Who the hell are you?" The blond asked, despite the fact his stomach's opinion that_ yes,_ he did really want a cookie, thank you very much.

"Huh? Minato didn't tell you?"

"What's dad got to do with this?

She slammed the plate on the table, causing some of the cookies to scatter, "That man...When I get my hands on him...!" with a huff she picked up one of the renegade cookies and bit into it viciously.

Naruto blinked, watching the woman warily. "Wait a second...Bright red hair, and you call dad Minato, you're in my mind AND you baked cookies. I know who you are!" The woman brightened, "You're the Kyuubi in disguise aren't you! Well, I won't fall for it, you stupid fox!"

"...Excuse me?"

"You heard me! I won't come to the dark side!"

The woman sighed, rubbing her forehead while looking at Naruto with a look of pity, Finally she looked up, "That's it. I give up. My son is an idiot." she looked at the dumbfounded teen, "Yes you. Personally, I hold everyone from the third hokage on down responsible. What do they teach kids now? You magically appear in a kitchen and you think it's some plot to turn you evil?"

"Well, yeah?"

She glared at him, "You don't cook much, do you?" Naruto gulped, getting the feeling that it would be a very bad idea to tell this woman, who now that he thought about it probably _WAS_ his mother, that he mostly lived off of ramen noodles, and the instant kind at that. "That's what I thought." She sighed, "Take a cookie, and let's try this again, shall we? I'm Kushina Uzumaki, your mother, 'tadaboyo. Though, I guess it's kind of rude of me to call myself that, since I couldn't be there for you while you were growing up, no matter how much Minato and I wanted too..." She teared up.

"It's ok! Really!" Naruto waved his arms wildly, now at a loss at what to do, "please, just stop crying!"

"It's not alright!" she sniffed, "Naruto! Listen, I need to tell you something. I need to tell you the truth about what happened on that night that you were born."


	30. Chapter 30

_**_**I say Kitsune...you say Foxfire...no no, sorry, I did NOT just do that. You know, some people might think my pen-name is a nod to Inu Yasha (Shippo's dubbed attack) but it's not. It's actually an indirect nod to **Mercedes Lackey**'s book seires, "SERRAted Edge" and Japanese legends in general. There was a family of kitsune in _**_**SERRAted Edge**_**_, one who actually shows up in a few other works of hers... he's really cool in the annoying kind of way, though he's kinda weak (I believe he was only 3 tailed in the first book) so his attacks were more showy, maybe that's why he called himself special effects?**_**_

_**_**Anyway, "Thanks and Thanks again!" To all my readers, reviewers, favers, alerters, c2rs and basically anyone else who's read it to this point!**_**_

_**_**Question of the chapter: "Do you read Korean Mawha? Which ones?" Personally, I LOVE them (And recently, Korean Webcomics that have been translated). Rebirth, TAL (Webcomic fun and random at times, you should TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT!), Zippy-Ziggy, Demon Diary, Ares, and Nephilim John, and 1/2prince (wish the novel was translated fully though) are some of my all-time faves. What is with me and gender-bender stories? Anyway, they are all really good stories (and not all of them are GenderBender ones). A lot of people actually DO read them, but don't realize it right away. A hint is if you're reading a 'manga' that you read left to right instead of right to left, it might not be an older one that got 'flipped' to westernize it...it could be Korean!**_**_

_**_**Speaking of manga/mawha and cross-dressing...Anyone looking for a good funny manga with a great plot needs to go look up "Tripeace" Trust me on this, it's amazingly fun.**_**_

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><p><em><strong><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_POV Ed_**_*&*&*_**_**_

Ed sighed as he leaned back, sending the chair rocking onto two of its legs. Next to him, his brother was still dutifully studying the simple seals that Kakashi had layed out for them. Idly, he stretched his arms over the back of the chair as he watched Kakashi mull over a map. He'd been a little shocked when the man had shown up early that morning in a swirl of leaves right in the middle of the cafeteria. The man had been obviously cold, but calmly asked for where Olivier was, obviously so he could report. Ed and Al, being the good kids they were naturally escorted him. It had NOTHING to do with the fact that they had wanted to know what the man had found out. Nothing at all. The Elric brothers were impressed, to say the least, that this strange man had found the enemy camp in such a short amount of time in the middle of a blizzard to man reminded him quite a bit of Ling, actually. Hell, if he wasn't from what basically was a whole different world, he'd suspect some political manoeuvring going on. This guy was tricky, nothing like Naruto, who was so openly honest it was funny. Then again, the foxy-brat had managed to pull a fast one more then once on Mustang, which was no small feet.

"Well, I suppose there's nothing more to be done today." The shinobi pulled out his little orange book and flipped it open to a seemingly random page, "If they others are back, I guess we'll start tomorrow. Or, Olivier could have us start without them I suppose. Naruto and Bee would be crushed, of course. Though, knowing Naruto, he'd show up right in the middle of things."

"If you were that worried about his training, you could have gone with them, you know." Al put in, not bothering to look up. His brother always had been better at multitasking then he was.

"I'm sure everything is fine. Besides, I've really got no skills that could help him right now. If Yamato was here...but he's not, so Naruto will have to manage on his own."

"Oh?" Ed grinned, dropping the chair back down to all four feet and leaning forward, "Is that really the reason you decided not to go?" The teen grinned, "Because I could have sworn I saw a look of fear for a second there. Imagine that, a teacher afraid of his student." He laughed, thinking of his own teacher before he caught the look Kakashi levelled at him over his book. It was the same look he had given them all when he had first appeared in that puff of smoke and seen Naruto scuffed and bloody on the ground. The laughter died.

"I have never been afraid of Naruto." Kakashi said, deceptively cheerfully, "I've been afraid _for_ him, of course."

"That wasn't an 'I'm afraid for my student' look. Trust me, I know that look. It's usually followed by a severe ass kicking, damn that woman."

Kakashi just looked at him blankly for a second before smiling, "Ah. I see."

"What the hell does that mean?" He looked over at his brother who just shrugged, obviously just as confused.

"Nothing."

"Pervert." Ed muttered before continuing, "Anyway, the look you had was more of a 'dear god please don't make me go with him'. And it wasn't directed at Bee, or Mustang, for all that you two don't get along. So why didn't you really want to go with your student?"

"When Naruto almost unleashed the ninth tail, he said he saw his father." Kakashi said, putting his book down and sitting.

"Yeah, so?" Ed remembered talking to Naruto about that earlier. Kakashi had been taught by Naruto's father, who had been the fourth leader of their village, or military. He in turn had been taught by Jiraiya, who had also taught Naruto, and was his godfather, who had been taught by the third leader. He personally found it odd that the current (or the one who should be) leader was related to the first leader. It seemed kind of convenient, but some things didn't quite add up. That was a problem for another day, though. Why wouldn't Kakashi want to see his teacher? "Oh wait, were you afraid that his dad was gonna show up again and beat the crap out of you for letting all this stuff happen to his kid?" The silver haired man flinched ever so slightly. "That's it, isn't it? Should have known. After all, you were his student, so you naturally should have taken care of his kid after he passed, right? Man, I bet he's pissed."

"No." The man raised a finger, "Minato-sensei would never have expected me to raise and care for his child. We had just ended a war, and I was a very...well known...teammate of his. Not to mention I was a teen myself. It would have been like holding up a sign to all his enemies if I suddenly had started to take care of a blonde blue-eyed baby."

"He's got a point, Brother." Alphonse put in, "Naruto looks nothing like Kakashi, and if he looks like his dad, then it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Besides, I don't think someone _your_ age could raise a baby alone."

The older Elric brother thought about that for a few moments. Raising a baby was a lot of work, after all. He could easily see the wisdom in not letting a teen take on that kind of responsibility. Looking at Kakashi he got the feeling it was a conversation the man had had with himself more than once after his teacher had passed on. "Then the problem is you don't want to see him?"

"Oh, I'd love to see Sensei...But I doubt that he'd appear before Naruto again." The man shuddered, "It's his wife I'm afraid of."

"His Wife? Wait. Back up...Naruto's _MOM_? That came out wrong. I know he has a mother! I mean... You think she's going to show up?"

"More then likely."

"Why on earth would she show up? I mean, I kind of figured she was dead, too, but, what's she got to do with learning to control the big fox? She got a leash or something for it?"

"Well, sort of. The Uzumaki clan have unique charka which makes them ideal hosts for the Kyuubi."

"Hosts. As in plural, as in his mother had that giant monster fox-rabbit-cat thing inside her too?" Kakashi nodded, "So then, the night Naruto was born...?" the man nodded again, "Damn. Really?"

"I believe Naruto would say 'you can't make this shit up'. The night Naruto was born, Kushina's seal broke for some reason and the Kyuubi went on a rampage. To stop the beast, Minato sealed it way into his own son using a new sealing technique he'd been working on at the cost of both their lives, on top of the lives that had already been lost."

"Wait, why didn't he pick some other Uzumaki instead of his own baby?" Al asked, "Wouldn't someone more experienced make more sense than a newborn?"

Kakashi sighed, "It's true, most villages use older youths for Jinchuriki, and Kushina had been a teen before she became one herself."

"Then why?"

"I was getting to that," Kakashi lowered his book, "At the time, the only Uzumaki's available were Kushina, who was dying, and little Naruto. The clan was annihilated during the war, and unlike your world's Ishballan's there are very few survivors. Even in Konoha we only had Kushina, and we were Uzushiogakure's closest allies. In all these years, I've only come across maybe half a dozen mix-blooded Uzumaki."

"Does Naruto know?" Ed stared at the man in shock, "Why, how is that even possible?" To him, it was like hearing the story of Xerxes again, an entire people, wiped out, overnight. But this time, it wasn't alchemy, but simple war that had done the deed. Ed couldn't fathom being able to wipe out a people so completely.

"Uzumaki's were seal-masters, on top of having longer lives and unique charka, so they were feared in battle. The village was hit in a joint surprise attack at the start of the war, which is what pulled our village into the war, actually. Unfortunately for surviving Uzumaki, they tended to stand out with their bright red hair, and so they were basically hunted down. As for Naruto knowing...probably not. It's not something covered in the Academy, and very few people in the village would have wanted him to know that he was actually part of a powerful clan growing up. He was, after all, seen as 'the monster-brat'."

"Has he...has he ever seen another Uzumaki?" Al asked.

"Once, that I'm aware of." Kakashi picked his book back up, "Before you even ask, I'm not telling him. Now, back to studying."

Ed stared at the man, thinking hard. Red hair...red hair...weird charka..."It was that Pein guy, wasn't it?" He heard his brother's gasp, though his eyes never left Kakashi. The man acted like he heard nothing, "That's why you don't want him to know, right? Fine, we won't say a word. Damn though, I thought we had a screwed up life, though, Al. How the hell is that idiot so fucking happy all the time?" He pulled the chart back over and once again studied the lines.

_**_**_*&*&*_**_POV NARUTO_**_*&*&*_**_**_

The story his mother had told him while feeding him cookies had seemed so fantastically-far-fetched he knew it could be nothing but the truth. Mandara Uchiha was a crazy son-of-a-bitch that had cost him his family (and Sasuke his family, too, go figure) and was the real reason for the Kyuubi going crazy that night. Kush...Mom didn't even seem to hold any grudge against Kyuubi at all, though she was quite adamant about Naruto learning how to use its power.

"I still think if you offered him some of these awesome cookies, he'd see the light and join our side."

"Really? You really think some cookies are going to change centuries of hate and suddenly the Kyuubi's going to fight for the good-guys?" Kushina asked, full of sarcasm, which Naruto chose to ignore.

"Well, no, actually." The teen grinned, "More like fighting for revenge, the chance to break things without getting in trouble, and sweet chocolaty goodness. Seriously though, if anyone's got a right to be pissed off about all this, it's the fur ball, don't you agree? I think he'd help."

"And I say no! As your mother, I'm not letting you take the risk. Maybe one day, when you have time, you can have a nice long chat about anger management with that stupid fleabag, but right now, you're going to have to do it my way." She hugged her son close to her, and her could feel her love and worry for him. Hesitantly at first, he hugged her back. _So this is what a mother's love is like, huh?_ He squeezed a little harder, his only regret being he was basically the same height at his mom. Finally Kushina sighed, "I'm sorry, Naruto," she told him, not bothering to pull away, "I know it seems mean and unfair, but really, we don't have the time to come to an understanding. You need to be able to access the power to keep you both safe now, so you can understand each other better later. Now, open your eyes, and let's finish this."

_Of course, that was easier said than done. Opening his 'eyes' showed a tail whistling towards his head, promising to flatten him into a pancake, after all. It's amazing what little details one forgot when given warm baked cookies. "YEEEE!" With a shout the blonde quickly leapt to the side, just barely avoiding ending up a smear on the wall. Just as quickly, a clawed hand came at him, only to be halted by chains that seemed to burst out of the ground. "Well, that's new. Thanks, mom!"_

_**"KUSHINA!"**__ The fox roared, tugging on it's paw, pulling many of the chains free,__** "YOU BITCH!"**_

_"HEY! That's my mother you're talking about!"_

_"Naruto, now! While I've got him pinned, pull his charka out and make it yours!" his mother's voice reverberated through the chamber._

_"I've got it, Dattebayo!" Naruto grinned, chanelling his charka and once again engaging in the tug of war. As the two battled for charka-supremacy, his mother's chains lashed down the Kyuubi's tails and another leg, effectively pinning it in place. The fox, however, was not going to go down without a fight. With a sharp tug on it's charka, it yanked Naruto up onto it's snout. The boy yanked back, pulling the charka free of the beast. He stared down at the fox, smirking._

_**"You bastard!"**__ Kyuubi snarled,__** "You think you've won?"**_

_Naruto frowned, "No, Kyuubi. It's not about winning or losing right now. But you know that, right? Mom told me about what happened...and I know you've been listening when Kakashi-sensei was talking about the war brewing back home."_

_**"...It doesn't concern me, brat."**_

_"But it does. Right? That guy, he's trying to get you and Hachibi to bring Juubi back to life. He wants to end everything! You can't expect me to believe you want that." Naruto crouched down, "Do you hate everything that much, Kyuubi?"_

_**"YES!"**__ The fox snarled, __**"I hate that village, I hate being stuck in you! I hate it all!"**_

_Naruto winced. For all that life being a Jinchuriki was hard, he found that really, he didn't hate it. He'd always thought that maybe the Kyuubi actually cared in his corrosive mean-spirited way. The beasts words hurt, but still, he felt that the fox was lashing out, meaning it, but not at the same time, much like when Naruto himself had been a kid. "...More then you hate that man?" The fox growled, "That's what I thought." Naruto smirked, "How about a truce, then? We put all that hate for each other to the side for now, and focus on beating the crap out of that asshole?"_

_**"Naruto...Fine. you've got yourself a deal." **__The fox growled out. __**"For now.."**_

_"Good! Then, you mind if I borrow some of this?" Naruto gestured to the charka he was still holding._

_**"Do what you want. You never listen anyway."**_

_"That's because I'm Konoha's number one unpredictable shinobi!" The teen laughed as he absorbed the energy._

_"You did it, Naruto! I'm so proud of you!"_

_"Thanks, mom...I'll miss you."_

_"Know that your father and I will always be there for you, and we're both really proud of you."_

_**"If you've got what you've come for, GET THE FUCK OUT!"**__ Snarled the fox._

_"Fine, fine, I'm going, Mr. grumpy-pants. I'll see you at that stupid gate, I guess..." The blond closed his eyes, a content grin on his face as he prepared to leave his mind-scape and tell Bee that the first phase was a success, "Oh, and by the way, Kyuubi. You know, I don't actually hate you. Yeah, you piss me off a lot sometimes, but you're kind of like the annoying live-in-uncle who never leaves." As he left, he could actually feel the fox gape at him._


	31. Chapter 31

_**_**_**Kitsune here with THE LAST CHAPTER! SO READ THIS NOTE PLEASE! EVEN IF YOU HAVE NOT READ A SINGLE OTHER ONE!**_**_**_

_**_**_**First off, "Thanks and Thanks again!" to all my readers, reviewers, favers, alerters, and c2rs. I've asked if people know what "Thanks and thanks again!" is from, but no one ever answers...so I'll tell you. "Tiger & Bunny" It's Sky High's most annoying line. He says everything like twice. Good anime, though. If you have not seen it, you should go watch the first three episodes. It's like a reality tv-show...with super-heros. But really, I want to thank you all for sticking with me all this time. This story was something that really grew past what I was expecting. Wow, people, I was only expecting maybe a dozen chapters out of this...and maybe 50 reviews! You guys (and some of your cool ideas, I wish I could use them all!) are the reason this thing has gotten to where it has. Even now that its compete, I know people are still going to read it, so, this thanks is to those future readers, too.**_**_**_

_**_**_**Secondly, I wanna give a special shout out to The Last Anbu. He's been an awesome help in beta-ing the last bunch of chapters for me and offering advice for a long time on Bee, as well as other plot-points and general "you can do it!" He's even put up with my whining 'I don't wanna!' and general tomfoolery... Dude, how many times have you messaged me now and I've been watching an anime or reading something instead of doing what I said I was going to? Seriously, I'm amazed you put up with me half the time. For real, thanks, Anbu-taicho.**_**_**_

_**_**_** Thanks also goes to Lexyaakiddd and Masked Bard of Chaos. Lexy knew first about the fact I was waiting to finish last batch of chapters and gave me some good advice. I hope this story didn't 'kill' you too many times~ Bard of Chaos, even if they don't know it, has made me laugh repeatedly with their stories AND some of our review-exchanges. This is a person who 'get's it' people!**_**_**_

_**_**_**The last thanks will only make sense if you read the bonus. I will say here again that THIS IS THE END OF TRUTH BITES. One day, I may write a series of Omakes for it, and other people are more then welcome to take this story and run with it if it gave you an idea. Just mention where you got the idea, folks. As it stands right now, the Bonus is just for fun, you don't have to read it. But all the same... I wanna thank my Co-worker (who does not have a fanfic acount at this time) for being a fun sounding board and triggering the BONUS. I nearly fell off my chair laughing, and it's a high chair, people. AND I'm short. That would have been bad. Funny as hell though.**_**_**_

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><p><em><strong><em><strong><em><strong>_*&amp;*&amp;*_<strong>_**_POV ROY_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_**_

Mustang was just glad to be back. The experience at the gate had been...interesting, to say the least, but really, he'd had enough of giant hybrid-ized multi-tailed monsters to last him a life time. The sooner they sent these whack-jobs back to their home, the better, as far as he was concerned. Not to mention, he felt like he'd been at that non-place for at least a week, possibly more, but Alex told him it had only been three days. Once again, he was being messed with by that thing, and he didn't like it.

On the other hand, now that they were back (and so quickly, too) they could get down to the business of chasing down the asshole screwing with his country. He WAS glad he wasn't missing out on that, Oliver would never have let him live it down if he'd missed it. Hell, Hawkeye would have never dropped it, either. It would have been nice if Truth could have just dropped them off where they needed to be, though. The blizzard had thankfully ended, but it had still dumped well over three feet of snow that they had to trudge through. Once again he looked over at the shinobi who were blithely trotting across the top of the snow and growled.

"What?" Naruto grinned, knowing full well what the problem was.

"That's fucking cheating."

"Is not." The teen trotted closer, "It's not my fault none of you guys can use chakra well enough to walk on snow. Kakashi even got Bull and the other nin-dogs to agree to pull a sleigh for you, so I don't see what you're bitching about, matchstick. At least you're warm."

"You know there are too many of us for the sleigh."

"Not my problem."

Roy glared at him, then at the sleigh in question, where Ed was sitting sulkily. The former Alchemist's leg had been giving him trouble in the cold, and instead of risking the joints freezing up or becoming snow-lodged, both he and Olivier had agreed that the boy would spend the whole trip on the sleigh, even if they had to tie his ass to it. Of course, that meant there was less space on the sleigh for the men to rotate on, but none of the dozen officers from Briggs, nor Hawkeye or Alex begrudged the Elric boy. Instead they all marched on in the wake left by the sturdy nin-dogs, and Bee's pair of shaggy ox who barreled through the deeper snow, clearing a path. Luckily his ox stopped talking after Olivier threatened to make stakes out of them. Still, the summons made the trip much faster. If they were lucky, they'd reach the enemy's camp before dawn, the perfect time for a surprise attack.

As it turned out, they made it to the enemy camp after dawn, but not much after. The camp was still silent, with the few guards on duty being easily dispatched by Kakashi. Now, huddled together just yards away from the camp, Olivier glared at Roy, daring him to challenge her right to lead. "My men and I will lead the attack. Mustang, you and your...shinobi provide backup."

Oh, I don't think so. "First, they're not 'My shinobi' if anything, I'd say Killer Bee is yours."

Bee pumped his fist, "Right!"

Mustang smirked, "See? And another, I think maybe my men should go first and yours should provide backup."

"What, all two of them?" She snorted, gesturing to Hawkeye and her brother, "Don't make me laugh, Brigadier General."

"Yeah, what are we? Chopped liver?" Naruto pouted from his spot between the two other shinobi

"Here's a better plan, how about we send the shinobi in, scare the crap out of these idiots, and then you two can pull the military bullshit?" Ed snapped, "The whole point of this is to get them home, isn't it? Wouldn't the fastest most efficient way to do that would be to blitz them with something they've never seen before?" Suddenly a wicked grin lit his face, "Particularly something they've called...Hey, Bee, think you can go all scary-shit on them?"

Bee scratched his chin, "You want me to turn into Hachibi?"

"Yeah. You heard about chimera, right? Well, I'm sure our Drachmanian friends here have, too, right, Generals?"

Roy grinned back at the teen. "Oh, I'm sure they have, thanks to the upheaval a few years ago. Well, what do you say, Olivier? Wanna send Bee and Naruto in to scare the shit out of them?"

"Naruto, too?" Olivier looked at the blonde teen apprehensively.

""Trust me, he'll do just fine. We didn't spend all that time in the gate sitting around, you know."

The teen looked towards his teacher, excitement radiating off him, "Well, why not? Just remember not to overdo it, Naruto. These guys aren't shinonbi, keep that in mind, please. Not to mention, if everything goes according to plan, you'll need your chakra for the battle ahead."

Bee waved off the worry, "Put it out of your mind, we'll be fine!"

"If you think you guys can pull this off..." Olivier growled out, glaring at the shinobi, "I want you to round them up in front of the camp. As much as I hate to admit it, Full...Edward and Mustang are correct, praying on their misconceptions would be safest for us. Play it safe, though. As far as I'm concerned, you're civilians. Don't give me that look, Bee. Round them up, and try not to kill too many of them. It's really hard to get answers out of dead people." All three shinobi nodded and vanished. "I hate it when they do that."

"Me too." Roy muttered. "Well, let's get ready, shall we?"

Alex rested a hand on his friend's shoulder, "What exactly did the boy learn at the gate, Mustang?"

"Hell if I know, Major. All I know is it was impressive enough to get that Truth bastard to sit up and take note." Roy shuddered, "And another thing, that fox is a lot scarier when Naruto's not inside it at all."

"That's what I was telling you, you jerk."

"Shut up, Ed..."

"Boys...If we can get back to the invasion?" Hawkeye pointed out, loading her gun. Just then there was a dull thud and an explosion of snow over to the right side of the camp. A blue-purple ox-head reared out of the cloud of snow, eight tentacle like tails whipping out behind it. The snipper couldn't help her natural reflex, (which was mirrored by all the other military personnel) she aimed her gun at the creature. A second later, she lowered her gun, "Killer Bee?" she asked, blushing ever so slightly.

Roy couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah, that was my reaction the first time I saw Hachibi, too. He's a LOT nicer then that damn fox, though." Screams could be heard inside the camp, "Not that they know that." There was another snow-explosion on the left. This time, the Amstrian military barely jumped as a Golden-yellow fox snarled down at the terrified people below. "Of course, Naruto's come to a bit of an understanding with it now. Hell if I know how."

Olivier nodded, "Well, whatever the reason, I'll take that as our signal. MOVE OUT BRIGGS!"

_**_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_POV NARUTO_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_**_

"Remember, we're only supposed to scare them a bit." Naruto pointed out as he felt his other half's glee. The two of them were trying their hand at a shared body, like Bee and Hachibi did, though with considerably less success.

**"Yeah yeah, I know."** Kyuubi grumbled,** "Spoil-sport."** He swung his arm and ripped apart a tent, sending a group of men scrambling. **"They're going the wrong way..."**

"Kakashi-sensei will get them."

**"Pheh. This is not what I agreed to, you know."** The fox grumbled, still being careful not to actually crush anyone as he herded them towards their allies. **"I'm not a sheepdog, brat."**

Naruto sighed, exasperated. "Consider it practice, then!" It was a lot harder to remain in this form then he'd thought it would be...and not stepping on people was a real pain in the ass. At least he/they weren't tripping over the tails anymore. Kakashi came within a safe distance and waved, "I guess thats the signal." He lowered their head, attempting to look his teacher in the eye. "What now?"

His teacher eyed him critically, "interesting look, Naruto. I see training paid off." He waved him on, "Let's go. I think our allies want you too to keep playing the big bad monsters a bit longer."

"Want a lift?"

"No thanks."

Naruto and the Kyuubi both grinned, standing up and padding along next to Kakashi. Apparently, while he and Bee had been ripping up tents and basically trashing the place, the others had been busy themselves. Signs of a battle were in evidence, though it was obviously over by the time they arrived. The men who were responsible for bringing him here shrunk back in fear as they approached. Kyuubi growled at them, causing Bee, who was now back in human form leaning next to Olivier to laugh while them men shrieked in terror.

"C...Chimera! Keep that beast away from us! PLEASE! We'll do anything!" whimpered on on the men.

"Brigadier General Edison! What are you doing here? I thought you were executed!" Olivier snapped, holding her sword to the man who had spoken up.

"YOU! You bitch! You turned my beasts against me! AGAIN!" the man spat, "Fools! The lot of you! The new government is soft! It was a simple matter to bribe the medic at the jail and escape...I will not let you foil me a second time!"

The woman calmly ignored him, "Bee, is this the man you saw when you came over?"

"You bet your cash, it was this pompous ass."

Naruto finally got his first good look at the man who was responsible for this whole mess, and he wasn't impressed at all. The guy was old, like...jiji old. His glasses were cracked, and his face was red and splotchy, either from anger or exertion. In fact, Naruto was half expecting the old coot to drop dead any second. In his shock, he lost control over his transformation, turning back into the blond-blue eyed teen. "What the hell? This guy looks like a five year old could take him!"

"YOU! Insolent brat! Do you have any idea what I've gone though?"

"Eh? What you've gone though? Because of you, I've been through hell, you asshole. NOW FIX IT!"

Roy glared at the man, "I don't know how you did it, since you've never been an alchemist, but you'll send them back, former Brigadier General Edison."

"Never been an Alchemist? You conceited fool! You think I spent all that time working in central under Father and learned nothing? And why should I help you?"

Kakashi was there in a flash, "Let me think..." a kunai pressed against the man's neck, "because, if you don't I'll simply kill you and move on to the next person here. I'm sure someone else here will be able to figure it out, hmmm?"

The man blanched. "You...you wouldn't! I'm an important hostage!"

"To them, yes, probably." The joinin acknowledged, "But, I'm a shinobi. I came here just to get my student back, you see. If I have to kill you to do that, I'm sure they'll understand."

Roy and Olivier exchanged a look and both shrugged, "I've got no problem with that, he's supposed to be dead anyway. We'll just say it happened in the heat of battle." Olivier said.

"Happens all the time." Roy agreed.

"Alright! I'll do it! I'll do it! PLEASE!" Edison was obviously terrified. quickly, with shaking hands his drew what Naruto now recongized as some weird kind of transmutation circle in the snow. "I'll send them back right now. Aminsty! The Drachmanians made me!" He snivled, touching the circle.

_**_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_THE GATE_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_**_

_"What the...?" Naruto looked around, "This place? This is good, right?"_

_"WOAH, Why the hell are we here?" The blond spun around, seeing Ed and Al right behind him._

_"I donno, this wasn't supposed to be part of the show." Bee grumbled, "Truth?"_

_"Welcome back, everyone~" The godling grinned, "I've been waiting. It looks like you've found your way back, Jinjurikis."_

_"Oy! That's all well and good, but what about them?" Naruto pointed to the Elric brothers. He sure as hell wasn't planning on taking them back with him, that was for sure. "And another thing, what about your damn fee?"_

_"They're here on a slightly separate matter. As for your fee... Well." If it was possible, the grin got wider, "let's just say someone paid your return toll."_

_Bee cocked his head to the side, "Who?"_

_"If you must know, those toads and oxes offered up the price. Something about being ready for the upcoming battle."_

_All four humans looked at each other, "Well," Alphonse pointed out, "we were a bit worried about that. I guess if they offered, it's ok."_

_"But, why are you guys here?"_

_"Simple." Ed smirked, "to perform a trade, right?"_

_Al nodded, "Exactly. This is the reason brother and I learned about Chakra."_

_"So, Alphonse Elric, do you think I would accept this trade?" Truth asked._

_"Yes!" The younger brother's eyes were shining, it's fascinating, but it doesn't exist in our world at all. Brother and I have studied extensively, and if you take our combined knowledge and understanding of what we've learned, even you would have to admit it's an equivalent exchange."_

_"Mister former Alchemist, is this what you want?"_

_"Trading my Alchemy for Alphonse's body...I'll never regret it. Best trade I've ever made. But yeah, I bet you really want this information, right? That's why you brought us here right now, or am I wrong?"_

_The being cocked its head to the side, "Humans are fascinating. Always learning, always growing, never standing still. Very well then. In exchange, take care of that problematic person for me. It's annoying having strange people show up." The faceless face turned to Bee and Naruto, "Enjoy your trip back. It's been interesting."_

_The white room started to spin, "Wa...!"_

_**_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_POV ROY_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_**_

"ED! AL!" The boys were gone, Kakashi slammed Edison into the snow as Roy's head snapped back and forth, looking for the kids, "What did you do, you bastard?"

The man's eyes took on a slightly wild light, "I've sent them away! Do anything to me and they're never coming back!"

"I'm sure he could bring them back even if I cut off a hand." The silver haired man offered.

"W-what? I sent you're monster friends home, what should you care?"

Kakashi looked bored, though Mustang wasn't fooled, "Did you now? Too bad I don't believe you."

"No. I'll take care of this, Kakashi. You should get back to your own world."

"He could be lying. Even if he isn't, I'm sure Naruto can manage for a little while. I'm not the sort of trash to abandon my comrades in a time of need." Roy was touched.

Still, he shook his head. "No..."

"THE HELL! A LITTLE WARNING NEXT TIME!" Ed shouted from right behind him.

"Brother, I really don't think yelling is going to help."

"Sure it does, Al, it makes me feel better!"

"Edward! Alphonese!" Hawkeye and Armstrong embraced the boys.

"Er. Yeah, nice to see you guys too. Sorry, had some things to take care of..." Ed pushed his way out of the hug and smirked cockily at Roy, "Alchemic things, if you know what I mean. Oh, Kakashi, Bee and Naruto made it back, safe and sound."

"Oh?" Kakashi smiled, "Good. I'm glad you're safe as well." He physically picked up Edison and tossed him towards the briggs Soldiers, "I see the lessons paid off for you. Now, if you'll excuse me. I'd say it's been fun, but, well, it really hasn't. Take care." With that, the man puffed out of existence.

All eyes turned to Edison,"Now...what to do about this piece of scum..."

_**_*&*&*_POV TSUNADE_*&*&*_**_

Tsunade could not believe her eyes. Kakashi had sent word that they were working on sending Naruto and Bee back through this 'Gate' place, whatever the heck that was, but this was not what she was expecting. Quickly, she rushed to the scene, worried not only for the blond who had worked his way into her heart so thoroughly, but for the joint-shinobi army who now found two large Bijuu beast tangled in a pile in their midst.

Killer Bee, she knew, was well in control of the Hachibi most of the time, and even when he wasn't, the creature had mellowed over the years. At least, that was what the Raikage told her as he raced along next to her, determined to reach the site before the beast woke up. They were too late, however. Both Bijuu stirred at the same time. "Damn it!" she cursed, "Where the hell is Kakashi?"

**"HACHI! YOU FAT ASS COW, GET OFF ME!"** The Kyuubi howled from the bottom of the pile.

**"**_**ME?**_** GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY FACE, YOU RABBIT WANNABE!"** All the shinobi froze, looking up at the squabbling demons as they strained themselves out, "Oh, hey, it's the Kages." The eight-tailed beast waved after finally letting his counterpart up.

"The fox sneered at them, **"Ch."**

"KYUUBI!" What have you done with Naruto!" Tsunade shouted up at it, "Where's Kakashi?" Red eyes just glared at her, tails lazily swaying before the creature deliberately looked away.

**"Ignore him, he's just cranky,"** The octopus laughed,** "Bee and Naruto-kun are just fine. I'll spare you the rap, but Bee says he's feeling a little woozy from the trip. Naruto's probably in the same boat?"** he cocked his massive head to the side.

**"...The brat says ' Yeah, that first step is a doozy. Don't worry Baa-Chan, me and fluffy came to an understanding and we're gonna kick that guy's ass.' WAIT. WHO are you CALLING **_**FLUFFY**_**? You stupid...I will NOT! ARGH!**_** NO! I DON'T WANT RAMEN OR A COOKIE!**_**"**

There was a dull popping noise, "Looks like Naruto's annoying the Kyuubi, huh?"

"Kakashi!" Tsunade spun around, "What is going on?"

"Oh, just Naruto being Naruto, I guess." The man pulled his infamous little orange book out as both Jinchuuriki shifted back into human form, "Obviously, our mission was a success. Now, what was that about a war, Hokage-sama?"

_**_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_BONUS_**_**_*&*&*_**_**_**_

"I say you give me his coat." Roy had that sinking feeling that told him that the shit was once again being aimed at the fan. All eyes turned to the strange voice. It was a teen with black hair, black eyes, and a small scar under his eye. He was shivering badly, being horribly under-dressed in shorts, a button down sleeveless top and sandals. On his head a straw hat collected icicles. The kid looked like he belonged on a beach. "It's REAAAAAAAAALLLLLYYYY Cold." The kid pointed out.

Olivier recovered first, "Who the hell are you?"

"Me?" He pointed at himself, "Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy. Who are you guys, anyway?"

Mustang felt a migraine coming on, "Here we go again..."


End file.
